Let me say, at this writing, gasoline is up to $4.25 a gallon and I know, yes I know, many of you are in places where the prices are two and three dollars above that.
That said, Tucson and most of Arizona is very car dependent due to the fact that everything is so spread out. It is pretty impossible to exist here, in any comfort, without a car. Recently, my car has been in the shop three times for a repeated number of repairs. At $1200 for repairs and over $200 in Lyft/Uber rides, we’ll see if three times is the charm.
The bus system: the bus system here runs every 30 minutes on weekdays (when they aren’t late) and every hour on weekends. Most services stop around 7ish, so if you have some evening event to attend, you are out of luck. The system has good apps for your phone. However, if you don’t have a phone, if your phone is out of charge, if you don’t know/can’t find the app, you are out of luck. The bus stops all have metal signs with the route number. There are no bus schedules with the times, no maps with the routes, their starting/stopping points and no information about when they stop running. Inside of the bus, a digital screen displays a stop when a customer pulls the stop cord. Again, there are no bus schedules, no times, no maps, no starting/stopping points, etc. As a result of this, bus drivers are continuely beleagered by passengers asking a thousand questions. This is stressful to them because 1) they have to answer the same questions over and over and b) they are on a tight schedule and are not supposed to be late to their next stop.
Lyft/Uber: since I have taken so many rides this month, I have spent time tracking the costs. During the day, approximately before 4-5 pm, the cost, per mile, can be as low at $1.78 per mile. As the day progresses, the cost can then jump to $3.00+ per mile. The evenings are the real killers; rides to entertainment events in the evenings for the basic same distance can be a whopping $30 each way! Boy, am I in the wrong business!
A lot of this, of course, is pushed by the rising and fluctuating prices of gas. If the city had decent and dependable public transportation, then all of us would not have to be stuck in the giant maw which is the automotive/petrol complex. Like flys stuck in a sticky webb, we can never break free. Again, time to wake up and smell the petrol!!!!!!
≈ Comments Off on 10 Cities and their Public Transport Systems
MAR 22, 2021
10 Cities With The Best Public Transportation and What Transit Planners Can Learn From Them
REMIX
Living in Arizonia, a place with extremely poor public transportation, we could learn a lot from these model cities.
10. Portland, Oregon
Because Portland, Oregon, residents care a lot about the environment, it’s no surprise that they have a pretty great city transportation infrastructure. They have a bus and rail system (known as TriMet), and residents and visitors alike can easily get around the city for cheap fare.
There is a light rail line that runs to the airport, and both buses and trains run around every 15 minutes each day. The city also has a Hop Fastpass app which makes it easy to manage fares and pay for rides from a smartphone. All transit stations in Portland are ADA accessible, another big plus.
9. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commuters in Pittsburgh can take advantage of both bus rides and an underground light rail, which is known as the T. A one-way ride on a bus or train is $2.50 if riders have a ConnectCard, or if they pay cash it’s $2.75.
All of Pittsburgh’s buses and light rail vehicles are accessible with ramps or lifts. There are 53 T stations, and the T runs from 5 a.m. until midnight each day. When waiting for the bus, users can get alerts via text with TrueTime-to-Text to find out when a bus is coming.
8. Denver, Colorado
Denver has a great system set up for public transit, with 68.4% of residents approving of the infrastructure. All stations are ADA accessible, and the city has both bus and rail options for riders, with over 125 bus routes. These systems connect easily to the airport and sports stadiums.
Rail rides can range from $2.60 to $9.00 depending on the length of the ride, and day passes cost $5.20 for bus or rail for local service. This system is fairly straightforward and helps people get across the vast city each day with minimal effort.
7. Madison, Wisconsin
The smaller city of Madison, Wisconsin, is home to the University of Wisconsin and is a great place for families to settle down. Their Metro transportation system is an example of a bus-only transportation strategy that functions well for residents, visitors, and university students.
The city’s transportation team is redesigning the bus system, which supports about 12.9 million riders. The government is asking for community feedback to help improve the system as the city comes out of the pandemic. This kind of collaboration through community support and feedback is a great way to ensure that riders’ needs are being met.
6. Chicago, Illinois
Chicago is the nation’s third-largest city and has one of the best transit structures out there — the CTA. This system includes many different bus routes and train lines that connect all over the city, and 90.7% of residents approve of the transportation system. Chicago also has a robust Metra system of railways to connect to the many different suburbs so commuters can get into town without having to sit in heavy car traffic.
Ridership was down in 2020 because of the pandemic, but these systems normally support nearly 500 million people each year. The train system, known as the El because it is mostly on elevated tracks, has eight different routes designated by color with 145 train stations, many of which are ADA accessible. Getting around the windy city — including from both big airports, to downtown, and to the suburbs — is a breeze with the CTA. One-way trips cost $2.50 for the train and $2.25 for the bus.
5. Washington, D.C.
The nation’s capital has a successful transit system that makes it easy to get around the main city center as well as commute from the suburbs and nearby regions. The city’s subway system is called the Metro, and there are also connecting MARC trains for Maryland riders and the VRE for those coming in from Virginia.
The subway usually takes on nearly 200 million trips each year; it is the second-largest system in the U.S. based on ridership. The bus system also takes on around 130 million trips every year. There are 91 Metro stations, so people can hop on from many different neighborhoods throughout the area.
4. New York, New York
Of course, we can’t talk about public transportation in America without mentioning New York City’s Metro, the nation’s largest system. On an average weekday, the subway supports 5.5 million riders with almost 1.7 billion riders each year. There are 472 subway stations with Times Square being the busiest.
The city also has a successful bus system with 2.2 million riders on average per weekday. Over 77% of residents approve of the system, and over half of residents take public transit to commute, a higher percentage than any other U.S. city. New York also has a ferry system for commuters on top of its commuter trains, subways, and buses.
Supporting the largest city in the country, the Metro is a great example of how to coordinate so many moving parts for a successful transportation system.
3. San Francisco, California
Travelers to San Francisco love the city’s historic cable cars, but the city also has a bus system, a light rail system known as the BART, and the Muni, which is a municipal railway. The city uses a lot of electric power for its public transportation, making it more energy-efficient and economical than other cities.
There are about 220 million riders each day in San Francisco. Because traffic can be very congested, taking transit helps cut down the average commute time.
2. Boston, Massachusetts
The Boston metro system includes a subway (known as the T), an extensive bus system, and a trolley car service. Over 30% of Boston residents use public transit to get to work. The T connects to the airport, Harvard, and other key locations throughout the area.
Boston has the fifth-largest mass transit system in the U.S. and serves over 4 million people across the region. Another plus of Boston’s system is that 20% of the electricity is bought from certified renewable energy sources.
1. Seattle, Washington
Seattle can be a role model for many cities on successful transportation infrastructure. Even though Seattle isn’t the largest city by any means, its transportation system is robust and features rail, buses, streetcars, and water taxis.
A study from WalletHub found that Seattle’s ridership numbers continue to grow as the city expands its service. The company ranked Seattle number one when comparing transit systems across 100 cities in the U.S. based on accessibility, convenience, safety, reliability, and available resources. All of the city’s transit stations are ADA accessible.
Because Seattle is now the sixth most congested U.S. city, transit helps residents significantly decrease average commute times and provides a fast and easy way for visitors to get around.
What Transit Planners Can Learn
These 10 cities can show city planners a lot about what works in public transportation systems. Here is a walk-through of some of the most crucial components:
Accessibility: Most of these systems have most if not all of their stations and vehicles accessible according to ADA standards. This is a must when planning so that services are available to all residents.
Convenience: Transit stops should be located in areas that people frequent often, with access to places like universities, airports, downtown areas, and others. Keep in mind why visitors come to the city and which are the top attractions, and ensure these locations are easily accessible by bus or train.
Affordability: One of the biggest benefits of using public transport is the ability to save money on gas and commuting. This is why fares should be reasonable and affordable for the masses. This requires a study of the average income of a city and surrounding areas, in addition to research about what other cities charge.
Frequency: Riders need to be able to depend on consistent, reliable service. Otherwise, they’ll resort to finding other ways to get around. According to one survey of 3,000 people, frequency was one of the most important factors when considering satisfaction with transit. Make sure that service is increased during rush hour and other busy periods and that delays are rare and well-communicated to riders.
Options: Almost all of the top 10 cities with best public transportation included a mix of options, including subways, rails, and buses. This gives riders more choices and opportunities to catch a ride no matter where they are in the city.
Visitor-friendly: Public transit systems should be easy for visitors to use and understand. This requires posting maps in many different locations and including all applicable details on the city’s website, including timetables and fare information.
Technology: Today’s riders love using their phones to pay for service or upload funds. Consider creating an app so that people can track buses and trains and even pay for each ride with their smartphones.
≈ Comments Off on Inflation continues to bite; Lyft rides.
A month ago, my car developed some problems and the dreaded engine light went on. Since I had moved to a new neighborhood, my old mechanic was now, further away. Being enterprising, I thought, ‘Let’s try someone new. Those prices are too high anyway!’ I got on Yelp and found a local shop with good reviews. I set an appointment and took it in. After discussion, it was agreed the mechanic would work on the fuel line. A day later I had 4 new spark plugs, rotated coils and a flushed fuel line. I picked up the car. It worked great. For five days. Then the light went on again. Called back to the shop. Had to bring it back in. What now? Well, could be the ignition coils. How much? $200 per coil. Wow!
So, since I had just paid a small fortune to move into my one-bed apartment ($1,600), I was strapped for cash. I had paid $421 for the first repair job and didn’t have the addition $400 for a second repair. Me: “Can I drive this car?” “Oh, no, Ma’am, don’t drive it with the engine light on.” Got it. Can’t drive the car and can’t afford to fix it. Will have to wait for my next payday.
So, for the rest of the month I have a) walked b) ridden the bus and c) taken Lyft here and there. The cost of gas in this area has now risen to $4.25 per gallon. Lyft sends me a message after each ride to tell me the cost (linked to my checking account) and that includes the miles. My father, who was big into math, used to always talk about algorithms. I wish I had paid closer attention.
The Lyft program follows a algorithm (Uber too) and it calculates the prices of the ride based on a) distance b) time to get there and c) the time of day. Therefore, the ride prices can vary wildly and seem to be particularly high in the evenings going to movie and entertainment events. My rides have swung from a very reasonalbe $1.94 per mile ride (DMV) to a whopping $5.73 per mile coming home from the theater. All in all, in one month, I have paid well over $200 for Lyft rides and usually, I am going less that 10 miles in one direction.
Back to the mechanic. Live and learn. After chaatting up a number of Lyft drivers, I found out (!!!!) that by going to O”Reilly Parts or Autoworld, I could get a free diagnosis on the meaning of the engine light. I drove the mechanical beast to the parts shop. In less than 10 minutes, the man had pulled out a little handheld device, attached to the panel on my dash and diagnosed ‘failure of coil #1’. Viola! Job done. In thinking back to my encounter with the shop, I remembered the words ‘diagnosis’ were never mentioned. We were just pulling out parts and sticking in parts and seeing what worked. Sigh.
So, today I am back to the old shop. The mechanic told me up front that ‘diagnosis’ was $200. Before I start screaming, I guess I need to review the last month and see what the whole mess has already cost me.
The last little bit, and this will be a blog for another day, I was able to experience first hand how very less than perfect our city’s bus system in. However, also, before I start bashing them too much, I was able to hear (overhear) a conversation between a driver and a passenger. Apparently, no less than four female bus drivers had been sexually assualted by passengers in the recent days. It is a sign of our times and one that needs to be addressed. cew
≈ Comments Off on The Death of the Manly Man in America
The Death of the Manly Man in America
Recently, I was at my favorite soup and sandwich place, enjoying lunch outside with the warm sunshine and light breezes. The patio area is popular with patrons and many people sit there. As I was downing my tomato basil and bread, perusing my I-Phone, I could not help but overhear the conversation of the white-haired couple one table over. It looked like a man and his wife; however, it could have been sister and brother. Since she did all the talking, it was difficult to tell.
The conversation had started before I sat and went on for some time as I was there. The subject seems to have been a young man (son?) and the rendition of a very long laundry list of items concerning his job. The items were the distance, the cost of gas, the repairs on his car, situations with co-workers, etc. etc. (her voice dropped). However, the list continued and continued. There was a final wrap up where she concluded that ‘he quit the job and now is working part time here and there and that gives him more freedom to ….’ I lost the last bit. The man during this monologue said not so much as two words. They finally concluded lunch and left. I sat in thought for a few minutes thinking about what I had just heard. This was probably a son or grandson she had been talking about. In retrospect, it was the biggest pile of BS concerning why someone didn’t want a full-time job I had heard in sometime. The sad part is that the woman appeared to accept these long-winded explanations completely and the man didn’t bother to disagree with her. (Does he?)
One week earlier, I had been at a favorite coffee spot having an early coffee. I was again checking messages on my phone while sipping. Another couple was off to the side. A young man, early 30’s with a older male companion. The conversation between the two of them went on and on; with, mind you, the younger man doing most of the talking. Again, proximity made it difficult to not hear. The young man is apparently involved in developing computer game designs. The dialogue about his efforts to be ‘successful’ and get ‘established’ went on for three-quarters of an hour. The game design was peppered with many stories of moving from place to place. Sleeping on his sister’s sofa; moving back down here, etc. etc. I was getting tired of hearing him ramble and the older man finally interjected a few encouraging words, which, like jet fuel, set the young man off again. It was still going on when I had to run out and go take care of some of my work business.
There appears to be a kind of unspoken consensus among people my age, that young people (a lot younger than us!) need to have a lot of ‘space’ in order to be ‘creative.’ The idea of having a plain regular job doesn’t seem to appeal. Somehow, ‘regular’ work kills all creative flame. God forbid you consider getting married and having children. Yikes! Those thoughts in mind, I would like to touch lightly upon the careers of some of my favorite guys and how they handled things in their day. Let’s see if ordinary ‘conventions’ killed the spark.
Charles John Huffam Dickens, 1812-1878 (58)
Married to Catherine Hogarth in 1836 and had 9 surviving children.
Married in his twenties to the mother of his children, Dickens had his problems with the marriage.
“This comes from the correspondence with Forster in 1854–55, which contains the first admissions of his marital unhappiness; by 1856 he was writing, “I find the skeleton in my domestic closet is becoming a pretty big one”; by 1857–58, as Forster remarked, an “unsettled feeling” had become almost habitual with him, “and the satisfactions which home should have supplied, and which indeed were essential requirements of his nature, he had failed to find…”
Regardless of this, Dickens was one of the most prolificate, creative and influential writers of our age. He wrote for newspapers, journals; did essays, novels, short stories and poetry. He was in life and of life for the whole of his career. He was popular with the public and had good earnings.
He was one of the most creative and respected writers of his and our time. All the while, as indicated, being married, having a large family and supporting them (and some relatives.)
Of course, in those days, large families were common. Today, couples and individuals have many more options. A blessing or a curse?
Doyle went to school at Edinburgh University and graduated with a degree in medicine and became a practicing physician. In 1885 he married Louisa Hawkins and they had two children. After her death, he remarried Jean Lecke and they had three children.
Doyle started off as a doctor but started to write his famous detective stories for The Strand and became famous in a short period of time. He continued to be a prolific writer for the rest of his life. He wrote short stories, novels, and essays on political subjects. He was knighted for service in South Africa during the Boer War.
Twain was married to Olivia Langdon in 1870; they had four children. Twain was famous during his own lifetime for short stories (The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County.) His novels, Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, for some. He was a celebrated essayist and speaker. He was invited to do world tours and was famous for his wit and political satire.
……………………
It would appear that these extremely famous and prolific writers/speakers were able to be married, have children, work at their craft and support their families. So, what has happened to change all that? Is it just our ‘modern’ attitudes? We have clearly had a revolution with modern birth control methods that drastically alter the choices couples have about having children or not. Is this real freedom or the freedom to remain children forever and never grow up?
≈ Comments Off on No, do not let your Two-Year use your cell phone!
More and more when I am in restaurants and other places, I am seeing young mothers, with very small children, allowing the child to ‘use’ the cell phone or else, buying them electronic devices of their own to use. Seems great, right? The kid is entertained, you are free to a) eat b) talk to your friends c) be on your cell phone. Great? Not great. Remember the days when every restaurant had coloring placemats and crayons? Your kids would spend a lot of time coloring the cows and cowboys all kinda wierd colors. Remember how proud they were of that. You worked hard to smile and said “Beautiful, darling!”
FYI parents; the purple cows and pink cowboys will eventually become pink and purple butterflys, with brown houses in greeen lawns. Those with become cats, dogs and horses and those will become…..wait for it…people. This process, and it is a process, is called creativity and yes, surprise, surprise, it does have to be ‘developed.’ When your kid is watching a cartoon, playing a computer game, watching movies and TV shows, they are watching something created by someone else. Not them. This is a very passive activity that doesn’t do much for them except fill time.
Social skills: as a teacher, I see in the classroom a growing lack of basic social skills between students. A lot of this was extremely aggravated by Covid, but the constant presence of cell-phones and their addiction is not helping.
The never-ending, unreal world of not only TV but Facebook: In case you have not seen the movie Barbie, I would recommend it. Barbie starts off very happy in a very fantasy world. It’s not real and neither is she. Facebook pages are filled to the brim with wonderfully happy people living wonderfully happy lives in a kind of never, never, land. As an adult, with pretty good self-esteem and judgment, I can get jealous and envious of others and start feeling bad about myself. Kids and teens don’t stand a chance as they have little life experience to compare to these perfect vignettes to. So, no, don’t let small children use cell phones and other electronic devices. Also, pay close attention to how much ‘total time’ your older children are spending on the same devices.
Yes, your smartphone habit is affecting your kid—here’s how
We’ve all spent countless hours lost in emails or Instagram, but experts are worried that when we’re connecting online, we’re connecting less with our kids.
“Well, when can we go?” My three kids, ages six, nine and 12, stood before me with frustrated faces, as though they’d been waiting a long time for an answer.
“Go where?” I asked. My eyes fought to look up from my tiny phone screen and then struggled to refocus on their faces.
“To the pool! Mom, you were looking for the pool hours.”
I’m not sure how long it had been since I picked up my phone for the search. My various apps and notifications had led me deep down digital rabbit holes. Dozens of times a day, as I walk, eat and parent, my phone distracts me and, embarrassingly, the kids are starting to notice.
Child psychologists are also noticing, and they’re concerned—not for me, but for my kids.
Our tech tools have become essential for our work, play and comfort. My phone is my research assistant, as well as my yoga teacher. It gets me to meetings on time, reminds me to call the dentist, deposits cheques, encourages me to take deep breaths—it even tracks my hormone cycles so that I only have to experience them, not be attuned to them.
But these devices aren’t as benign as we all thought when we opened their stiff boxes and gloried in the shiny glass screens in which we could check our lipstick. They have been designed to capture our attention and keep us coming back to monitor the popularity of our status, read our most recent notifications and find out the latest trending stories. We pick up our phones as many as 150 times per day, creating short interruptions in our real-world relationships. This has experts wondering: Are smartphones impeding the critical human connections that for millennia have been the primary way parents have transferred rules, skills and social norms to the next generation?
Devices are interfering with development
Humans learn best through person-to-person, in-the-flesh interactions. Jeanne Williams, a child psychologist and play therapist based in Edmonton, explains that this interaction-based learning begins long before a child is verbal. At birth, a baby’s brain has a hundred billion neurons, most of which are not connected. The neurons begin to form connections with one another when the child engages with their parents and others around them—for instance, when a baby smiles and their parent smiles back, or a baby cries and a parent responds with a hug.
These types of reciprocal exchanges are known as “serve and return” interactions, because they work like a game in which a ball is volleyed back and forth. The child sends a signal, and the parent responds. Serve and return helps connect neurons in the brain to support language and communication skills, and as a child grows, these interactions help them learn emotional control, as well as important non-verbal emotional cues (for instance, what anger and happiness look like). The more responsive we are to their elemental attempts at communication, Williams says, “the more they learn the world is a pretty safe place.”
But for all of this learning to happen, the “served” communication must be promptly “returned.” While I’m no sports fan, even I know there is no game if one team stops bumping back. And that’s exactly what happens when our devices interrupt our interactions with our kids. Researchers at Boston University School of Medicine observed that when parents were distracted by a device at dinner, they had 20 percent less conversation with their kid and 39 percent fewer non-verbal interactions.
The tech interruptions start early on in our relationships with our kids, disrupting even little things like eye contact. And the consequences are real. University of Cambridge researchers have found that when mom and baby lock eyes, their brainwave patterns sync up so that scans of their brain activity look very similar. Researchers concluded that gaze powerfully signals to the baby that mom is available and interested in communicating, and the baby in turn will make more vocalizations and greater attempts to interact.
So when breastfeeding moms use devices to pass the time, lactation consultants are worried they’re missing those critical bonding opportunities that come from looking their babies in the eye. It’s true that texting or social scrolling can connect us to friends and family at a time when we’re isolated and feeding on the couch, but by getting lost in notifications and never-ending pictures of other people’s super cute babies, we miss out on the connection our babies may be trying to have with us.
Missed opportunities continue as our children begin to process emotion through conversation. “Often, the effect of looking down at a screen can eliminate the opportunity and space kids need to say what’s on their mind,” warns Williams. That’s why, when I drive the kids to school and activities, and have no distractions, they become exponentially more open to sharing stories about their day.
As kids grow, being available and responsive also helps them learn emotional regulation. “When a kid is distressed and you completely ignore them, their distress is going to grow,” Williams says. “They won’t build neural pathways that teach them how to soothe themselves.”
The inconsistent and unpredictable responses that often evolve from tech distraction (sometimes I ignore you; sometimes I don’t) can be especially harmful to kids. Tracy Dennis-Tiwary, professor of psychology at Hunter College and the Graduate Center of the City University of New York, decided to measure the effect. She had parents self-report their normal technology use and their child’s temperament. The children whose parents used their phones more had a harder time reconnecting with their parents and displayed fewer signs of happiness and curiosity overall. What this means for kids’ emotional health later in life is of concern to Dennis-Tiwary: “If we disrupt our one-on-one time by disappearing into our smartphones, then they will learn to disconnect in similar ways.” She fears that parents’ cellphone use is teaching kids that technological distraction is the way to handle boredom and negative feelings. “If our children learn to navigate these challenging moments with devices, they may have fewer and less flexible strategies at their disposal to cope with day-to-day social ups and downs.”
And if this weren’t enough to jolt me from my scrolling-induced reverie, there are also the physical consequences of distracted parenting. One study matched hospital data against the slow rollout of 3G cell networks in the US. When cell service became available, local hospitals reported a 10 percent spike in emergency room visits for kids under six. The study’s author argued that it wasn’t because kids were involved in riskier activities; it was because parents were distracted.
Competing for attention
It’s not like distracted parenting is new. From constantly watching for predators in our early cave-dwelling days to dealing with gruelling work weeks during the Industrial Revolution, parents have always had activities that pulled their focus from their kids. Tech-induced distraction is also not new—parents of previous generations had car radios and sports on TV. However, today’s technology is designed to draw us in and follow us wherever we go. Vast amounts of money and science go into playing on our vulnerabilities in order to attract and keep our attention. Unfortunately, it seems to have a detrimental effect on our ability to focus on anything else. In fact, according to one study, my goldfish now has a longer attention span than I do.
With such a well-funded and successful campaign to capture our attention, how can our kids compete? They try. Brandon McDaniel, assistant professor in Human Development and Family Science at Illinois State University, has studied “technoference,” as he has dubbed it, since 2012. In a recent study published in Pediatric Research, he observed that the more parents were distracted by tech, the more kids acted out. But it didn’t stop there; it became a cycle. As kids acted out, parents became stressed, and when parents were stressed, they turned to technology, which, of course, only led to more acting out. He empathizes with parents who are just responding to pressure in our hyper-connected world, but he feels it is important to sound the alarm: “We are allowing tech to interfere with our relationships, and that feeds back into how our children are doing.” Don’t I know it: My kids get louder, get closer, grab my chin and suddenly, I pay attention—but usually it is only to ask them to settle down.
Scaling back screen time
While I can’t give up my phone, I want to manage my distraction. McDaniel suggests I start with analyzing my phone use. By downloading a few apps (I tried Moment, Mute and RealizD, but Apple’s iOS 12 also has a Screen Time feature), I’ve been able to track my usageand the number of times I pick it up. The analytics tell a story about my emotional, social and professional reliance on my phone. I’m most vulnerable to being distracted by my phone after I post on social media or in the late afternoon when I’m tired from the day (and, unfortunately, just when my kids return from school).
McDaniel says we have to take the time to create strategies to better manage our tech use. I decided to set a tech-free zone at the dinner table and in my bedroom, but McDaniel discourages a one-size-fits-all approach to managing the distractions: “Tech-free zones work differently for every family.” He encourages families to consider when and where tech-free times would work best for them.
Most phone-use tracking apps come with goal-setting tools, and when I ask Williams about what goals she recommends, she says, “Try to have some regular time that you are 100 percent focused on your kid.” Start with scheduling one or two playtimes every week. That might mean 20 minutes of playing catch in the front yard or swimming at the pool, but whatever it is, commit to no distractions. By being really present, she says, “you’re primed to hear if your kids have something to talk about, or see a scowl and have the availability to ask, ‘What’s up?’”
Williams also urges me to limit my unnecessary screen time, like surfing social media after the kids get home from school. “It’s OK to use our phones to chill out, but try to keep it to when kids are in school or in bed. Ask yourself, Do I really need to be on here?”
But what about all those times when looking up an address, turning on music or finding a recipe is necessary? Although I need to do these things, to my kids, it all appears like distraction. Without the visual and audio cues I had as a child—when I could see my parents looking at a map or going to the post office—my kids are often left in the dark as to what I’m doing or planning.
To combat this, I say out loud what I’m up to so they know I’m arranging their summer camp registration or finding the perfect birthday cake recipe. This way, they know when they can interrupt. When appropriate, I’ll mirror my screen on the TV, so we can meditate together on Headspace or edit pictures collaboratively. Williams says kids love being included when we’re trying to solve problems and often have ideas of their own. “Talking with your kids about the struggle you are having to achieve balance with your technology is a huge opportunity to learn together with your kids what balance looks like for your family.”
McDaniel’s final piece of advice is simple: Look up. “If your child walks in to get your attention, look in their eyes instead of looking at your device.” Adults understand that a person focused on their phone is distracted or attending to another task, but McDaniel says young children can’t comprehend that their parent still values them over technology. By looking your child in the eye, he says, “You’ve shown them that you are listening, and they are learning that the device doesn’t have more value than them.”
The other day, McDaniel’s advice came to mind when I found selfies of my 11-year-old daughter on my phone. They were blurry photos in very close range of her eye. It was as if she were saying, “Look at me.”
I took it as a reminder to look up. There’s no app for that.
This article was originally published online in December 2018.
≈ Comments Off on Wellness exams or Disqualifying exams?
As a medical insured with United Health, I have been very happy with my coverage for the last year. Basically, I have had no problems with them and I love the coverage with multiple gyms for workouts.
After about one year, I have received repeat phone calls from the company requesting time for a ‘wellness exam.” At first I told them I already had a regular doctor and got this exam from her each year. Not to be deterred, the phone calls kept coming and coming. Finally, I agreed to have a nurse come to my place for a wellness exam.
The date of the exam, I made sure to be there on time and have cold water in the fridge in case someone needed some. The nurse showed up with a sidekick, another nurse in training. The exam took an hour and included my weight, bloodpressure and heart. In addition, was a cognitive test for my memory. All of these items were stock in trade and usual for all exams I get at the clinic. The disturbing part came with the long, long list of deep and probing questions about my entire health history to include information about mother, father, brothers and sisters. I answered the questions. The question went on about drugs and alcohol for myself and all family members. I had to answer questions about all surgeries and injuries that I had had in the last year. I discussed two recent surgeries that were for arthritis. The nurse got practically excited when I admitted to smoking cigarettes 30 years ago. She wanted me to tell her how many cigarettes I smoked per day. I laughed at this point and said I couldn’t remember that far back but it was only ‘occasional, social smoking.’ More questions followed, I had my temperature taken and got measured for height and my BMI was calculated. I had to have a pressure test to the bottoms of my feet to check for nerve damage. The digging kept on about depression, mental illness, treatment for psychological problems. The nurse was very nervous when she showed up.
After giving her negative answers to most of these questions and we found that my BMI was low enought, blood pressure low enough and heart ok, the nurse seemed to relax. By the time the pair left I realized that I had been subjected not to a wellness exam, it was a disqualifing exam. This was an intensive investigation to see if the company had a basis for cancelling my coverage. I was shocked when it all sank in. I await the results of my exam. Hopefully I passed. However, next year, my response will be that they can get copies of my records from my GP. What an invasive and demeaning experience. And, how many people have to go through this.? God forbid I had anything serious wrong with me, short of age, of course. Wow! I can’t talk to family members about this as they are all military and have life long coverage. Review the next.
U.S. Federal Court Finds UnitedHealthcare Affiliate Illegally Denied Mental Health and Substance Use Coverage in Nationwide Class Action
BY INC., PSYCH-APPEALPublished 10:47 AM MST, March 5, 2019Share
— Landmark Case Challenges the Nation’s Largest Mental Health Insurance Company for Unlawful, Systematic Claims Denials – and Wins — Groundbreaking Ruling Affects Certified Classes of Tens of Thousands of Patients, Including Thousands of Children and Teenagers — Judge Rules, “At every level of care that is at issue in this case, there is an excessive emphasis on addressing acute symptoms and stabilizing crises while ignoring the effective treatment of members’ underlying conditions.”
LOS ANGELES, March 05, 2019 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) — In a landmark mental health ruling, a federal court held today that health insurance giant United Behavioral Health (UBH), which serves over 60 million members and is owned by UnitedHealth Group, used flawed internal guidelines to unlawfully deny mental health and substance use treatment for its insureds across the United States. The historic class action was filed by Psych-Appeal, Inc. and Zuckerman Spaeder LLP, and litigated in the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of California.
The federal court found that, to promote its own bottom line, UBH denied claims based on internally developed medical necessity criteria that were far more restrictive than generally accepted standards for behavioral health care. Specifically, the court found that UBH’s criteria were skewed to cover “acute” treatment, which is short-term or crisis-focused, and disregarded chronic or complex mental health conditions that often require ongoing care.
The court was particularly troubled by UBH’s lack of coverage criteria for children and adolescents, estimated to number in the thousands in the certified classes.
“For far too long, patients and their families have been stretched to the breaking point, both financially and emotionally, as they battle with insurers for the mental health coverage promised by their health plans,” said Meiram Bendat of Psych-Appeal, Inc. and co-counsel for the plaintiffs who uncovered the guideline flaws. “Now a court has ruled that denying coverage based on defective medical necessity criteria is illegal.”
In its decision, the court also held that UBH misled regulators about its guidelines being consistent with the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) criteria, which insurers must use in Connecticut, Illinois and Rhode Island. Additionally, the court found that UBH failed to apply Texas-mandated substance use criteria for at least a portion of the class period.
While the Paul Wellstone and Pete Domenici Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act of 2008 requires parity for mental health and substance use benefits, insurers are permitted to evaluate claims for medical necessity. However, by using flawed medical necessity criteria, insurers can circumvent parity in favor of financial considerations and prevent patients from receiving the type and amount of care they actually require.
In his decision, Chief Magistrate Judge Joseph Spero concluded that “the record is replete with evidence that UBH’s Guidelines were viewed as an important tool for meeting utilization management targets, ‘mitigating’ the impact of the 2008 Parity Act, and keeping ‘benex’ [benefit expense] down.”
Psych-Appeal, Inc. and Zuckerman Spaeder LLP were appointed class counsel by the federal court and represent plaintiffs in several class actions against other insurers.
How men can save relationships by learning to be vulnerable
Perspective by Andrew Reiner
August 2, 2022 at 9:00 a.m. EDT
(Isabel Espanol/Illustration for The Washington Post)
When Nick Firchau and his wife were dating, he trekked from his Brooklyn apartment into Manhattan to buy fresh scallops to make her dinner. This was a big deal for Firchau, now 43, who rarely cooked and wanted to impress his girlfriend. According to him, she grew vocally upset because he neglected to cook a vegetable, too. “I couldn’t believe she didn’t appreciate all the effort I went to,” he told me.
He never said anything to her, though. Instead, he fumed for days — a dynamic that continued for years into their marriage. When conflict arose, and he felt hurt, Firchau let those feelings “marinate,” which led to pent-up “anger and resentment, because the air hadn’t been cleared the first time.”
Neglecting to examine and tend to emotional needs is common to many men, it turns out. For a number of reasons — many rooted in socialized norms about masculinity — men are often taught very young to diminish, or even ignore, their emotions in relationships. They do this, however, at the expense of their relationships’ health and their own well-being. When men learn to better understand their emotional needs, the payoff can be profound.
The common myth about men and emotions goes something like this: Men are wired differently than women, and, as a result, they don’t have the same emotional needs. But Israeli researchers who pored over scans of more than 1,400 brains discovered that human brain structures and features are a “mosaic,” resistant to easy binary expectations about gender or sex. Another study published last year in Nature reported that men’s and women’s emotions are, as one of the researchers put it, “clearly, consistently and unmistakably more similar than they are different.”
Instead, psychologists say these perceived differences often arise from social constructs, which starts early. “We don’t train boys to have vocabulary around their emotions beyond anger,” said Fredric Rabinowitz, chair of the psychology department at the University of Redlands in California, whose research and private practice focus on men’s mental health. This occurs, Rabinowitz said, because many boys are raised to believe that deeper emotions are separate to their being, which morphs into “unprocessed trauma.” And when men lack emotional language, they cannot explain what they are feeling.
Firchau can identify with this. Until 2018, the podcast producer and host of the “Paternal” podcast “didn’t think about my emotions in general,” he said. (I have appeared as a guest on his show.) That year, he lost his job, the stress became overwhelming, and he felt as if his identity was under siege.
“I always believed guys are supposed to have everything figured out, for ourselves and our families,” Firchau said. He worried that he couldn’t handle everything with “stoicism, confidence and emotional toughness,” which scared him, because he feared that betraying vulnerability “would make me unattractive to my wife. I was afraid I would lose her if I shared what was unraveling me.”
Like so many men who feel beleaguered, he could not express these negative emotions and, he said, became overwhelmed with stress.
Another self-inflicted barrier that prevents men from meeting their own emotional needs occurs when they check out of relational conflicts, or “stonewall.” This occurs when someone feels overwhelmed by their emotions during interpersonal conflict and then physically or emotionally disconnects, such as by walking away, changing the subject or reaching for other diversionary behaviors. Many people who practice stonewalling consider it a peacekeeping tactic, but it merely buries problems that need resolving.
Men aren’t the only ones who contribute to masculine stereotypes about vulnerability. Psychologist Paulette Kouffman Sherman said in an email that, despite the well-documented request for male partners to be more emotionally available, some women “don’t find it attractive.” They perceive a man’s vulnerability as “weakness, neediness,” as less masculine, a threat to traits they value in fathers who were the family “rock”: “strong, silent, fixer” types, she said.
Bill Johnson, a psychologist in suburban Chicago, said that his mostly Black clientele, a third of whom are part of the LGBTQ community, experience similar pushback from their partners. “Many men don’t feel they have an audience to talk about deeper pain and hurt in their romantic relationships. It’s difficult to have people in their lives who will do that for them. This is true for both straight and gay men.”
But there’s no question about vulnerability’s role in successful relationships. Therapists know that opening up to partners and spouses, and to potential rejection, builds and deepens trust, empathy and intimacy.
Since Firchau took the step of working with a therapist, walls have come down in his relationship. “My therapist helped me develop the language to talk about my deeper feelings and helped me validate them. And he helped me realize that they weren’t anything to feel ashamed of, that they were normal.”
Emboldened, Firchau approached his wife with his newfound literacy and confessed the truth: He had been afraid that she would regard his true feelings as weakness. He was wrong. “She told me, ‘What’s unattractive is that you were unwilling to face the problem at all.’ ”
This language, Firchau said, has broken down unproductive barriers — and created healthy ones.
“Whenever my wife and I have a heated conversation about kids or money, I know now that rather than engage in a heated argument, I need time to step away and think for myself on how to articulate what I’m feeling.” He now creates some needed space for himself and, a day or so later, shares with his wife why he felt hurt or upset. “But we hold each other accountable. And after that day has passed, we have that follow-up conversation.”
Andrew Reiner teaches at Towson University and is the author of “Better Boys, Better Men: The New Masculinity That Creates Greater Courage and Emotional Resiliency.”
The reason why men push away the love of women they love is that they didn’t think the process all the way through. Most men think about now and that’s it. When you can feel in your gut that a man is pushing you away, you are usually right. It’s your woman’s intuition. It makes women wonder why doesn’t he want me?
Reasons men push women away
1. He believes it’s too good to be true. He just can’t believe he can be happy with the woman of his dreams. He doesn’t believe it could happen to him.
2. She is being too clingy to him. She never leaves him alone. He’s not used to that much communication with a lover.
3. He is realizing how much he misses being single. He doesn’t want to commit. He has a “commitment phobia”. This is a man who likes to do whatever he wants to do.
4. He is too selfish. He realizes it will cost him time and money to continue on with her. It’s all about him in his life and that’s how he likes it.
5. He doesn’t see a future with her. He can’t see himself being with her forever but he didn’t know that immediately. He only started feeling this way lately.
6. He felt pressured into the relationship. It’s not necessarily that she gave give an ultimatum to be in a relationship. It could be that he is not ready but he feels that he owes her that. Women want men to do things when they want them to. That’s just not the way men work.
7. He has too much on his plate. Living a busy lifestyle has him feeling like he won’t be able to devote as much time into the relationship that’s needed to keep a healthy relationship.
8. He has been hurt in the past by someone else. He thinks every female is out to hurt him. He guards his heart like its a newborn baby.
9. He feels like he is in competition with her. She may be more “accomplished in life” which plays with his manhood. Men are generally the providers or at least the breadwinner.
When he meets a woman with more than he has to offer, he gets intimidated by the situation. He feels almost like he is not good enough for her.
10. He has a fear of love. He is genuinely terrified of his own feelings. He has never felt like this about someone before. He doesn’t know how to handle the feelings he has inside for her. These feelings are almost overwhelming to him.
11. He doesn’t fully love himself. It’s hard for someone to fully love someone else when they don’t love the man in the mirror. He is insecure and has to fix this by himself. He feels inadequate in showing and expressing his love for her. He is unable to connect with her emotionally.
12. He is not as into her as she is into him. He just doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. He is slowly contacting and responding to her contacting him less and less in hopes of just easing out of the situation. He doesn’t want to be a man and say what’s on his mind and heart. He just hopes she gets the hint by showing less or no more interest.
13. He can smell a challenge. Some men will pull away when they think another man may be involved in the equation. They don’t like to compete. Men are very territorial.
14. She is such a good woman that he is scared he will mess things up. He doesn’t want to hurt her. He knows he has never been in a serious relationship that lasted very long.
What to do when a man pulls back
1. Work on yourself. Remember who you are as well as your worth.
2. Have a conversation with him. Ask him what his issues are. Let him know that you are there for him. Do not pressure him in any way. You need to know what’s going on. You have a right to some answers.
3. Give him what you think is a reasonable amount of time. People go through things. Be a little patient. However, you are not a toy to play with.
You still need to put a time frame on the situation. Do not allow him to come in and out of your life if he is confused or still pushing you away. No one should be allowed to reserve you emotionally and not act on it.
4. Keep yourself busy and your mind off him. What do you like to do? Enjoy your hobbies. Spend more time with your family and friends.
5. Pull back too. Give him time and space to figure things out. Stop contacting him. Just act nonchalantly about the situation. Make him miss you again.
He needs to reappreciate your presence to make him remember and realize what he will potentially be missing out on. When he “snaps out of it”, he will come around.
6. Leave him alone and move on with your life. This may be easier said than done but you deserve to be happy. No need to keep lingering around someone who is confused about what he wants to do with you. You should never put your life on hold for someone unsure.
Life is too short. Don’t keep pressing him about this issue. You will make him feel like you are desperate.
7. A man pulling away is like a scared animal. He might be emotionally immature. You must be positive, calm, constant, and reassuring you can help him change those feelings.
You will see that he slowly will trust what you are saying and doing. Make a safe environment for him to perceive forward. He will slowly move forward if he is the right man for you.
As you can see there are many reasons why men push away women they love. Watch his actions around you. In dating and even in relationships, A guy would rather pretend that he doesn’t like you while silently suffering inside because he does like or even loves you very much. Sending you mixed signals is not fair in the love game.
The worst thing you can do is blame yourself. This has everything to do with him, not you. You can control a man that has unstable emotions. You didn’t do anything wrong and there is nothing wrong with you. His ego could be in the way of his heart right now.
Valuing yourself and scarcity is very important. He knows that you are a great woman, he knows someone will love you if he doesn’t. Hopefully, you know and understand this too.
You’ve probably seen someone standing on a corner at one of Alexandria’s busiest intersections, probably holding a sign detailing the desperate circumstances they’re in and asking for help.
Maybe, motivated by a charitable instinct, you handed them a couple of dollars or some change through your car window.
You think you’re doing good, but you may actually be contributing to deeper problems, says the head of the Central Louisiana Homeless Coalition.
“Please, please, please — do not give to panhandlers,” said CLHC Executive Director Joseph Buzzetta. “Our community does want to help out individuals who are homeless. I understand the public’s desire to help. Homelessness speaks to something in our souls. But giving money to these individuals is not the way to deal with homelessness.”
“Honestly, a lot of these people flying signs are not homeless,” Buzzetta said.
Tiffany Crooks, housing program director with Volunteers of America, said she’s known some individuals who have made as much as $500 in one day of panhandling.
“We always tell people, don’t ever give money,” Crooks said. “Because you’re reinforcing the panhandling behavior. If you feel like you need to give something, give tangible items — a granola bar, a bottle of water, I’ve even seen people give gift cards to McDonald’s. If they’re not willing to take that from you, nine times out of 10 they don’t really need help. They’re just out there trying to make a quick buck.”
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Your money may be putting them at risk
Many people on the streets are there, at least in part, because of serious substance abuse issues. And one of the worst things you can do to someone who has a drug problem is make it easier for them to get drugs.
“I have seen people give money to people who are active substance abusers,” Buzzetta said. “Not just using baseline street drugs, they’re using hard, hard drugs. Especially with all the fentanyl out there, all the opioids out there. They’re trying to survive so they do self-medicate, they do seek out these substances that make life easier for them, and it is just so, so dangerous.”
Buzzetta said “panhandling is one of the most dangerous activities a homeless person can engage in,” and not just because the money might go to feeding their drug habit.
Information passes a lot more effectively among the homeless community than people think, he said. When someone is known to have made a decent amount of money panhandling, that could make them a target for attackers looking to rob them.
Homeless people are particularly vulnerable to such attacks because they spend nights in out-of-the-way areas with no walls or doors to protect them, and are less likely to report crimes against them to law enforcement.
Panhandling could keep them from seeking needed treatment
“The challenge we’re seeing is some of our clients who we engage with on a regular basis will stop coming to us for our services and instead go panhandle, because it is good money,” Buzzetta said. “A lot of homeless people are in survival mode. For them, it’s a calculation. Do I come and meet with case manager get signed up for disability, try to get signed up on these waiting lists, or do I go make a cool $60 or $70 or $80? Whenever that’s the calculus that the community is encouraging, I understand why our clients are going for that.”
If they can make it panhandling, it keeps them on the streets, and keeps them from seeking help.
“The longer these individuals stay on the streets, the worse their mental health conditions get, the worse their physical health conditions get, the worse their substance abuse issues get,” Buzzetta said.
Eventually, the danger is they don’t receive treatment for so long that their problems, which may have been addressable, become too severe.
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It may keep them out of stable housing
In addition to using it for drugs or other destructive behavior, Crooks said, she’s seen homeless people using money they got panhandling to buy themselves a night in a hotel room.
While that buys them shelter for a night,” the next day they’re right back in the same situation,” she said.
“Until these issues are addressed, these people are not going to make it into housing stability,” Buzzetta said. “And that’s what we’re here for. We want these people stably housed and thriving in this community. When that happens, our entire city benefits.”
Many homeless people have experienced significant trauma, Buzzetta said. Dealing with that trauma for an extended period fosters a mindset that they can only value what gets them through another day.
“Panhandling encourages that mindset, encourages that behavior and stops them from coming to us so we can work on moving them from that present-day orientation to more of a future-based orientation so they can move forward in their mental and physical health goals,” he said.
The average cost per day, per client is about $30 for CLHC, Buzzetta said. For that, the agency has about an 80 percent retention rate.
That means eight out of 10 times, once a client sees what a better life looks like, they’re willing to accept the challenge of staying off the streets.
But to get that glimpse of a better life, they have to engage in services that move them on the path toward stable housing. And as long as they’re making money panhandling, they’re less likely to do that.
“The bitter irony is every dollar you give individuals on the street could go to a housing agency and we could use that to develop more housing and get these people off the streets,” Buzzetta said.
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