The Sound of One Hand Clapping

01 Monday May 2023

Posted by webbywriter1 in Jobs and the workplace

Recently I finished up a teacher/counselor type position for low-income students. It was a combo summer program and then some Saturdays. I was with the program four semesters. This year we had a very nice wrap up ceremony with lunch, a talk from the big boss, etc., parents and students. A number of the students have been accepted into the college/university of their choice. Other students had gotten summer internships with the local university and others have gotten summer internships or jobs.

As a career counselor person, I spent endless hours with students telling them about community colleges, university, registrations, transfers, loans, grants, scholarships. Then, onto resumes, cover letters, presentations, interviews, selecting careers and how to physically get there. I was so happy to see that the students who stood up to get the rewards were primarily students from my class. Yeah!

My reward for all the hard work and preparation was a Starbucks gift card, lunch and a Go-Team speech. I had to think about this.

My thinking is that maybe the boss is scared if he rewards one (me) for good work, the others will get upset? Then, reward the others for good work too! Is that so hard? The end result is that I walk away from the experience feeling invisible and wondering why I tried so hard.

Although I am sure many students appreciated my efforts, I would really like to get some form of acknowledgement from the boss. Specifically, that I, as an individual (over and above the ‘team’) made a difference for these students and that they (management) recognize the contribution. I know I did a good job with those kids; but it feels like the sound of one hand clapping. Not good. So, that said, lets look as some of the ways (there are many) that managers fail to take care of their people. Ways in which managers…don’t manage. cew

25 Signs of a Bad Manager at Work in 2023

https://teambuilding.com/blog/bad-manager-signs

You found our list of warning signs of a bad manager.

Signs of a bad manager are undesirable leadership traits that cause friction between supervisors and employees. For example, micromanagement, conflict avoidance, and credit-stealing. The purpose of pointing out these qualities is to help managers avoid pitfalls and lead teams more successfully.

These traits are similar to bad leaders, the opposite of signs of a good manager and are examples of poor team management skills. Ineffective leadership can have a significant impact on employee morale and workplace toxicity.

This post includes:

warning signs of a bad boss
signs of a weak manager
characteristics of a bad manager
toxic manager traits
incompetent manager traits

Here are the biggest red flags.

List of signs of a bad manager

From poor feedback to favoritism to conflict avoidance, here are qualities effective leaders avoid.

1. Micromanagement

Micromanagement is one of the most-often-cited characteristics of a bad manager. Instead of giving staff the time, space, and autonomy to perform, micromanagers over-observe and dictate every part of the process. These bosses demand constant updates that can further delay the result and make the work tedious.

This approach can squash creativity and take a toll on productivity. Employees struggle to find joy and meaning in the work they lack ownership and control over. Not to mention, the need to oversee and sign off on every idea or action conveys a lack of trust.

Leaders are accountable for the team’s results. Anxiety about potential outcomes often leads inexperienced or insecure managers to monitor and control each step of the operation.

How to fix it: Trust your team! Dial back the checking in. Once you and the team decide how often updates should occur, try to stick to that agreement as closely as possible. Oftentimes when managers provide the staff with autonomy and space, employees repay that trust by meeting and exceeding expectations.

2. Failure to give feedback

Delivering feedback is one of leaders’ most important responsibilities. Managers’ primary role in the workplace is to evaluate and guide employees. A manager who neglects to provide performance insight ignores this duty, and the silence denies employees the chance to grow.

Some managers dread confronting staff with less-than-stellar reviews. Others only offer criticism without recognizing positive contributions. Then, some supervisors assume that the occasional “good job,” is sufficient without further detail. Some managers neglect to give feedback at all. Or, perhaps the comments are too harsh, or too unclear. Feedback is an art that many managers struggle to master.

How to fix it: Schedule regular formal reviews on a yearly, quarterly, or monthly basis. Also, make opportunities for more informal evaluations, like one-to-one check-ins or feedback Slack channels. Roleplay and practice delivering constructive comments outside of work to grow more comfortable with the process.

3. Inability to say “no”

There are a surprising number of individuals in management positions who are uncomfortable saying “no.” These individuals have trouble standing up to their bosses, other departments, and sometimes, even their own team.

The manager should be a voice of reason and should not be averse to provide pushback. A manager who is afraid of offending is more worried about keeping the peace than the long term effects of agreeing.

How to fix it: Realize that accommodating coworkers is not a zero sum game. Pleasing one party might inconvenience another. Make decisions out based on business interests, not politeness. Practice saying no so that you grow more comfortable asserting yourself and advocating for your team’s needs.

4. Absence of empathy

A lack of empathy is one of the worst toxic manager traits primarily because this quality lays the foundation for other bad behaviors. A manager who fails to recognize feelings of employees may not think twice about gossiping, screaming, or overworking staff.

In its most extreme form, this quality appears as workplace abuse. However, more subtle manifestations of this trait include bosses guilting employees over taking sick leave or flaunting wealth in front of minimum wage employees.

How to fix it: Practice mindfulness and self-awareness. In times when you cannot show kindness, then give your employees space. Make an effort to observe and imagine other folks’ feelings. Search for the root of your lack of compassion. Trust yourself to draw the line between being nice and being taken advantage of.

5. Gossip

Leaders should actively discourage gossip to promote a healthy team culture. Spreading rumors and hearsay does not set a good example for the staff.

Not to mention, the act tanks trust. Employees who overhear a manager speculating about a colleague may worry about becoming the subject of such gossip. As a result, teammates will not confide in the manager, causing a rift in the relationship. Managers cannot lend support when they are unaware of team members’ struggles, and team members will not admit those struggles when suspecting the manager will not keep a secret.

Gossip has no place in inclusive workspaces, and managers should strive to make the workplace welcoming and safe for all team members.

How to fix it: Don’t do it. If you would not make the statement to the subject’s face, do not say it to a colleague. When other coworkers begin to gossip while talking to you, either correct the employees or leave the conversation.

6. Poor communication

Good managers keep in touch. Bad managers go radio silent. This occurrence is a problem especially when managers are based in separate locations, travel frequently, or if the team is fully remote.

Or, if the leader does communicate, the conversation is one-way. The boss sends an email or instant message, yet never responds to follow-up questions. This manager promises to call back later but forgets to pick up the phone.

The occasional delayed response is understandable, but this manager makes a habit of ghosting the team.

How to fix it: Stick to a communication schedule, even if you have nothing new to report. Set deadlines for important conversations, for instance, replying within 24 hours. Use a communication tool to make reaching out easier and more convenient.

Here is a list of remote work platforms to help you communicate.

7. Over-reliance on employee self-management

There is a difference between giving employees freedom to do their jobs and forcing them to fend for themselves. Good managers give employees autonomy and defer to their judgment, yet still observe and give input.

Bad managers are often unaware that decisions are even being made. These individuals never implicitly command employees to take the reins, yet never make a decision that might mean otherwise. Employees assume that the issue will continue unless someone takes actions, so the staff steps up and solves the problem out of a sense of duty. There are no instructions from the manager beforehand, and often, no thanks afterwards.

This behavior turns employees into managers without the pay or title. Assuming too much responsibility can make the staff feel overwhelmed, unappreciated, and resentful.

How to fix it: Distinguish between manager tasks and employee tasks. For instance, staff can make shift swaps but should not create the schedule, and mediating conflicts between coworkers is a manager’s responsibility. Hold regular meetings and check-in’s and remain aware of the day-to-day happenings of the job. Do not take advantage of employees’ eagerness to help or prove themselves.

8. Disorganization

Disorganization is one of the main incompetent manager traits. There is a fine line between being slightly scattered and being consistently disheveled. Disorganization becomes a problem when managers constantly forget details, lose documents, and miss meetings. This behavior sets a poor standard for the department, and can also cause extra work and for other team members.

How to fix it: Find or create a system that works for you. Take an hour or two at the start or end of each week to organize. Evaluate whether you need an assistant, or just need to get your act together.

You can also use scheduling software to help arrange your day.

9. Conflict avoidance

Conflict avoidance is one of the main signs of a weak manager. Achieving team harmony is a manager’s goal, however trying to avoid any type of disagreement often has the opposite effect. When managers squash squabbles without addressing the underlying causes, resentment can build and an even greater argument may arise down the line. Instead of trying to stamp out any sign of trouble, leaders should teach teams how to navigate and resolve disagreements respectfully. It is the role of managers to lead mediation, diffuse the tension, negotiate, and steer the group towards compromise.

Ignoring the issues will only procrastinate the problem until the situation reaches a boiling point.

How to fix it: Establish a mediation process early to provide a structure for problem-solving. Encourage productive communication practices and teach teammates how to hold respectful dialogues.

10. Unavailability

Managers may not be available to staff during all hours of the day. However, if teammates consistently feel as if their supervisor does not have time for them, then there is a serious problem.

How to fix it: Block out “office hours” and be available to staff during these times. Regularly check in with staff. You can also schedule regular one on one meetings to ensure all employees receive individualized attention.

11. Lack of delegation

The non-delegator is a bad boss in disguise as a good boss. The “jump-in-the-trenches” approach can earn staff’s admiration and loyalty during busy times, yet can also earn the team’s ire in slower seasons. Managers who insist on taking on tasks that teammates are capable of handling are one step away from micromanagers.

How to fix it: Realize that your role as a boss is to coach and guide employees, not to do everything yourself.

12. Favoritism

An ideal manager treats all team members equally. Bad bosses play favorites. These leaders may have personal relationships with direct reports, for instance, being related. Or, the boss may just like one employee more than the others. Preferences are not a crime, however special treatment is a cardinal manager sin. These leaders give out opportunities and privileges not based on merit or skill, but rather on personal feelings. Preferential treatment is discouraging and demoralizing for non-favored employees. There is no incentive to try or strive if reward and regard automatically go to the manager’s pet.

How to fix it: Be mindful of interactions you have with your staff. Make notes about privileges. If an employee pushes you for special treatment, then have a frank conversation about your need to stay impartial despite your close relationship.

13. Credit-stealing

Credit-stealing is one of the most obvious warning signs of a bad boss. These managers pass off employees’ ideas and efforts as their own, or fail to mention team members’ contributions. Sometimes, bosses behave this way by accident, merely forgetting to give staff a shout-out. Thanking employees in private yet never bringing up their name in public is not sufficient either.

Nobody wants to feel that their work goes unnoticed, nor that someone else is reaping the rewards of their intelligence and effort. Employees have aspirations and ambitions and are not simply a tool to make the boss look better. Staff deserve the chance to advance their careers. Hoarding the applause is unfair.

How to fix it: Be realistic in your role in the project and honestly evaluate who had the most influence on the end result. Pass along the praise and name your employees. Give your team credit, and they will likely give you credit in return. If you struggle to share the glory, then use the phrase “it was a team effort” as a baby step.

14. Insults

Most folks would agree that a manager who calls employees morons is not a good boss. Toxic leaders feel entitled to belittle staff and call employees names. Tearing other folks down masks their insecurity and makes the boss feel more in control.

How to fix it: Avoid name-calling. If making the comment to your own boss would result in your firing, then do not say it to your staff. Focus on solutions to the problem at hand instead of hurling character attacks.

15. Blame

There is a difference between accountability and blame. Accountability is action-based and focuses on the future. Blame revolves around labels and deals with the past.

A good manager holds teammates to high standards and points out when staff fail to meet expectations. When a misstep occurs, effective managers focus on finding solutions instead of hurling accusations. Good managers assign fault only in service of fixing an error, not to make a judgement on the employee’s capabilities or character. Bad managers harp on mistakes and can sink morale and productivity. These bosses’ first instinct is to point fingers and shame rather than analyze the issue.

How to fix it: Prioritize a solutions-based approach. Focus more on how to fix the problem than who caused it.

16. Excessive anger

Type “bad boss” into a Google Image search, and approximately half of the results will show managers screaming at employees, often with a megaphone. The cartoonish stereotype of a mean manager is always in a foul mood, waiting for an opportunity to yell at employees, usually for an issue that is not the employee’s fault.

Plus, when the boss explodes, the delivery overshadows the message. Employees will dwell on the confrontation instead of considering the message.

How to fix it: Learn to pause before reacting. Practice meditation, breathing exercises, and other anger management techniques. Plan an escape route in case you need to cool down before responding. If the anger persists, then consider seeking professional help.

17. Poor listening habits

Bosses are busy. Managers can easily get distracted when there are one hundred things running through their minds. However, when poor listening habits become a pattern, problems arise. Employees are unlikely to feel heard or valued when managers interrupt or make team members explain for the fifth time. Having repeat conversations wastes time and causes frustration. Plus, half-listening can lead to misunderstandings and mistakes. Most importantly of all, bad listening hygiene sends the message that managers do not care about the staff.

How to fix it: Practice active listening tactics, such as repeating phrases back to the employee. If busy or distracted, then reschedule the conversation for a better time. Make an effort to hear and understand employees.

18. Tunnel vision

Managers serve as links between teams and the rest of the company. Effective managers act as liaisons that translate and compromise between the organization and the group. No department operates in a vacuum. Decisions that inconvenience or may not make sense to one team might exist to keep operations running smoothly. Managers are often privy to information that employees are not aware of. Part of a manager’s duty is to relay the reasoning behind these choices to the team and help direct reports understand the bigger picture.

How to fix it: Think on a grander scale. Pretend you’re getting transferred to a different department tomorrow, and ask yourself whether or not your new colleagues would welcome you if you acted this way. Build relationships with coworkers in other departments and communicate regularly. Forming a rapport will help you empathize with colleagues more.

19. Manipulation

The role of managers is to unite the workforce around a common mission, yet some bosses pit co-workers against each other. This behavior sometimes comes from a misguided notion that rivalry will elicit the team’s best performance, when in reality over-competition among peers prevents proper teamwork.

While this sort of aggressive persuasion can be quite effective, it comes at the expense of eroding employees’ trust. Real managers motivate, not manipulate. The difference between the two tactics is that motivation is rooted in honesty and benefits employees, while manipulation is sneaky and self-serving.

How to fix it: Be mindful of staff’s reactions and signs of resistance. Don’t ask them to do stuff beyond job description, and accept no when they do– Don’t beg– be clear and transparent– can also appeal to them by explaining reasoning–

20. Unquestionable authority

Authoritarianism is often cited to be the least effective leadership style. Bad bosses operate like dictators, demanding respect and obedience and punishing anyone who challenges their authority. The boss’s word is the way, and discussion or disagreement is not allowed. Employees become order-takers and learn not to ask questions or offer opposing ideas.

This atmosphere stifles innovation and creativity. A lack of checks on authority is also bad for the health of the organization. Bosses are not infallible at making poor choices, yet employees will not bring up concerns when conditioned not to speak up.

How to fix it: Foster two-way feedback and give employees advice. Acknowledge the ability to be wrong. Encourage debate and conversations. When enacting authority, explain your reasoning so that employees understand the logic behind decisions.

21. Unprofessional behavior

Unprofessional behavior is a catch-all for bad bosses. Sexism and racism are the most extreme iterations. Other examples include disregarding the dress code, slacking, disrespecting higher management, and excessively tending to personal matters on the clock. Left unchecked, these behaviors can embolden other employees to misbehave and ignore the rules. Such actions can also cause unnecessary conflicts and stress for staff.

22. No team building

Neglecting team building is not the worst thing a manager can do, but is also not the best. Ineffective managers make no efforts to help the staff get along. These bosses treat team members like individual employees, and ignore the lack of camaraderie or teamwork in the workplace. While any team member can take the initiative to plan outings or spark up conversations, it is ultimately the manager’s responsibility to turn the group into one cohesive unit.

23. Appearance-obsessed

These managers care more about reputation than reality. Shallow and insecure, these bosses are more concerned with being popular and well-liked than being effective. This leader may push the team to hit numbers and quotas just to look better to the big bosses and company at large, with no regard to worker wellbeing. Or, maybe these managers fudge the numbers altogether, or stage a setup that makes the workplace appear more functional than normal. Perhaps these managers pretend to be nice to staff only when higher ups or coworkers are around.

On the more innocent side of the scale, the manager may try to be a “cool boss,” and gain approval. These individuals aim to be well-liked rather than respected. They believe that their image and reputation take precedence over actual results.

How to fix it: Choose meaningful standards of measurements. Angle for results over good advertising, even if those results take time to materialize. Also, solicit honest feedback from peers and staff. When you receive feedback regularly, you will be less obsessed with impressing others or avoiding scorn.

24. Date or hit on staff

Many companies have rules against managers dating subordinates, for good reason. The power imbalance between bosses and employees means that the pair can never be on equal footing. Skeptics say that companies primarily aim to avoid lawsuits, yet organizations also try to protect staff who might feel obligated to date a boss to avoid career repercussions.

Bosses who date employees against company rules almost universally fall into the bad manager category. This behavior is dishonest and endangers the employee and the company.

Also, a manager serially dating subordinates can signal a lack of boundaries and professionalism.

25. Quiet firing

Quiet firing is when a manager disengages from an employee’s happiness and growth in the workplace. This concept is a clear sign of poor management, and can be very destructive to an organization’s morale and productivity. An easy way to spot quiet firing is when a manager continuously reschedules or cuts short 1 on 1 meetings with a direct report.

Learn more about how quiet firing works.

Final Thoughts

Inexperience causes many young supervisors to exhibit weak manager skills. However, leaders of any age are prone to personality flaws and bad habits. Plus, bosses are human, and humans have bad days. However, when the bad days outweigh the good, chances are that the leader is not a good boss. The good news is that self-improvement is possible and almost all flaws are fixable. With self-awareness and hard work, bad bosses can become better. The only truly bad boss is one who is unwilling to change.

Elu’s Story – Part VI

28 Wednesday Dec 2022

Posted by webbywriter1 in dating, families, Fiction, Jobs and the workplace, marriage, money, Native Americans, romance, Uncategorized

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The door to Jan’s bedroom was closed. For whatever reason, Elu seemed to be seeing less and less of her roommate these days. She shook her head and checked her purse. There was some money in there. She grabbed her coat and purse. The corner store would have cereal and milk. She couldn’t face much else right now. She closed the front door behind her.

It was cold outside and Elu had to be careful to pick her way through the snow and ice on the sidewalk. The ice could be lethal she knew and didn’t want to slip. She got to her apartment building and put in the key code to get in. She was walking up the stairs to the apartment when she heard the yelling. Who was that? She stopped in front of their door and was about to put the key in the lock when she realized the door wasn’t closed. The sound of her roommate Jan filled the apartment.

“I know you took it, you slimy bastard!” she screamed. “Now where is it?”

Elu came around the corner holding her bag. Sabastian was sitting casually at the kitchen table twirling a DosEquis beer bottle and looking down at it. Jan was dangerously close to him, leaning over. The veins in the side of her neck were bulging and her face was red.

“Hey, it’s not big deal. I just borrowed it for a little. You’ll get it back, don’t over-react.” His tone was casual and bland.

“Over-react, over-react! I don’t want it someday. I want it back now! Give me that slip,” Jan demanded and stuck her hand in the young man’s face.

With a slight movement of his wrist, Sebastian pulled out a slip of white paper from a jacket pocket and handed it over. Jan snatched it out of his hand and turned, seeing Elu for the first time.

“And tell your Godamn boyfriend to stay out of my room in the future!” she raged. Jan was still in her outer coat and her purse swung back and forth over her shoulder. She pushed past Elu still with the angry look and stuffed the paper in her purse. She slammed out the front door.

Elu came into the kitchen and put the bags on the table. She slowly lowered herself to a chair.

“What…” was all she could get out.

“Oh, hell,” Sebastian took a drag on his bottle. “It’s no big deal. I just borrowed that red stone ring of hers for a little while. She’ll get it back.” He smirked and added, “You make lots of money,” and took another sip.

“Like you borrowed my gold necklace?” she asked him.

“Baby…” he scooted the chair closed to her. “I’m just having a little down time right now. I’m a lover not a fighter. I’ll be back in no time. We still love each other, right?” he gazed into her eyes.

Elu felt hypnotized. “Yes,” she said softly.

“Good, good.” He smiled again. “Got to go, know when I’m not welcome. Got you a little gift.” He pushed a tiny paper packet her way. “Enjoy. Love you.” He kissed her on the forehead. “Got to go before Bitchzilla comes back and ruins the evening. See you later.”

He picked up his beer and headed for the door then turned. “Don’t worry about your dumb necklace. It’s just for a little while. I got some great leads coming in. You’ll see.” He went out the door and closed it behind him.

Elu sat and stared at the packet. She knew what was in it. She wanted it and didn’t want it. Blow, Sebastian called it. She picked up the little package and put it into a teapot on a shelf. Not now, maybe later.

Sebastian was a few years older than Elu and had come to New York to be a stocks and bonds trader. He had ¾ of a college degree in marketing and dropped out of school to ‘make the big bucks’ he had told her. From Scottsdale and from a well-to-do family, the young man was used to the good life and did indeed make the big bucks for a while. But the early wake up hours and the pressure got to be too much for him and he dropped out of that line of work.

He had done sales of all sorts and with his good looks and charm always managed to do well and make money. Somehow, something always seemed to get in the way and he ended up out of work, looking for another job. Right now, he was trying his hand at hedge fund trading and was convinced this was really the ticket this time. In the meantime, all the money Elu was used to making every week seemed to be dissolving into thin air and she couldn’t figure it out.

When the month came that she didn’t have enough for rent, Jan gave her a long, cold stare.

“I will cover you this time, girlfriend, but no more. Get that lazy boyfriend of yours to cough up some cash or you’re both out.”

The lease was in Jan’s name so the girl knew her friend could make good on her word. The next time Sebastian asked her for a little to get by, she told him no.

“We need it for the rent.”

He looked calm as ever and went over to the fridge to get a beer. He got the last one and sat down staring at her. He unscrewed the top and took a big sip.

“And, another thing, you need to bring in money for groceries.” She was standing up close to the sink. Suddenly, he was behind her and pushed her up against the kitchen wall, hard. He had lifted her off her feet with his big hand around her neck.

His blue eyes were red and blood shot. He breathed heavily into her face and smelled of beer and old cigarettes. She tried to turn away but couldn’t, he had too firm a grip on her neck.

“Don’t you ever talk to me like that again, you little bitch. I know who you are and what you are. You got it?” He was talking through clinched teeth. She was terrified.

She gave a slight nod and he let her down. Then, for whatever weird reason, he started to brush her off like she had crumbs on her shirt. She started to tremble.

“I’m going now…but, we’ll talk later.” He gave her breast a tight squeeze until she winced with pain.

He backed off, grabbed the beer and stormed out of the apartment. Elu slid down the wall and just stared into space. She started to cry, little tears at first and then big, gushy ones. Her mind was a cloud of confusion and she couldn’t think. She stumbled up and went to the bathroom to take a hot bath.

The next few months, things seemed to settle down a bit. Elu continued to dance at the club. Sebastian stayed away from the apartment more and spent more time in his grubby, singles walk up working on hedge fund deals. He kept talking about big money that was just about to come in.

Elu sighed when she heard this. They were out for dinner and she paid. It usually wasn’t at the really great restaurant they had been to before, more like pizza and beer but it was food and it was hot.

She paid her rent on time and Jan accepted it without comment. Jan had gone to the pawnshop herself and got back her mother’s ruby and garnet ring. She didn’t tell Elu how much it cost her but Elu noticed that Jan’s bedroom was always locked now when she left the apartment.

It was the weekend of Mother’s Day and Jan told Elu she would be going upstate to see her mother.

“And, I know I don’t have to tell you to keep that slug out of my bedroom, right?” she arched an eyebrow at Elu.

“You’re door is always locked. How could he get in there?”

“Knowing that little creep, he could figure something out.” Her tone softened a bit. “Elu, you know I like you. Always have. But, really, if much else happens with that little bastard, I am going to have to ask you to leave. Comprende?”

Elu couldn’t do anything else but put her head down and nod. It reminded her of the way her mother used to speak to her and she felt ashamed.

Jan grabbed her trolley suitcase, locked the door on her room, and slung her purse over her shoulder. As she was about to leave, she stopped and looked at the forlorn visage of her friend. She came over and gave her a hug. “I just wish…I wish…” she seemed to be out of words for what to say. Then, turned and went out the door.

Elu sank down on a kitchen chair and stared into space. There was a little ‘ping’ on her cell phone. She opened up her message box. Daniel had sent her a message. “Grandpa in hospital, call me”. A sense of terror swept over the girl. She grabbed the phone and had a short, terse conversation with her brother. Grandpa was in the hospital because of his heart. She was scheduled to work that night but promised to come over as soon as she could.

Her shift went by in a blur and Elu found herself repeatedly looking at the clock. 1 am couldn’t come fast enough. She got off. Rocky, her favorite bouncer, found her a cab. She told him about her grandfather.

“I’m sorry babe. That sucks. Want me to beat up that lousy boyfriend of yours? Do it for free. Might make you feel better.”

In spite of herself, Elu laughed and smiled. Rocky was the biggest, buffest gay guy she had ever met. Hell, she didn’t even know what gay meant until she had moved here. She got into the taxi and told him to rush. Her body was tingling from raw nerves.

She let herself into the apartment, her outfit still on under her heavy jacket. To her surprise, Sebastian was sitting on the sofa in the living room. There was some strange man with him. A big, fat, sweaty guy. The fat guy was in his forties with thinning hair. He kept wiping his brow with a handkerchief.

“Babe, you’re home!” Sebastian was expansive. “Hey, meet my new, good client, Samuel from Milwaukee. Samuel, Elu, the Indian.”

Samuel got up to shake her hand. He was nervous. There were wet patches in the armpits of his shirt. He reached to shake her hand. “I saw your performance at the club, Miss Elu. Stunning, just stunning. You dance so well and you’re so…” he paused to find the works, “you’re so beautiful.” He stared at her transfixed.

Elu yanked her hand out of his grip and looked over at Sebastian. “I got to go change.”

“Sure thing,” he waved at her. “We’ll be here. Samuel brought you some of your favorite stuff.” He waved at the coffee table. Lines of coke were already set up on a mirror in the middle.

Elu’s mouth got dry. She pulled away and went into the bedroom. She stripped off her costume, pulled on a t-shirt, jeans and boots. A heavy sweater went over the top and a jacket with a hood. Sebastian sauntered into the room.

“Where’re you going babe? You’re going to miss the party!” He sipped his beer casually and looked over at her dressing.

Elu yanked the jacket on and spun toward him. “What is that guy doing here?” she hissed at him.

“Calm down, calm down, girlfriend,” he put his hands out in front of him as if he was surrendering. “He just came to see you. He likes you.”

Elu stared hard into Sebastian’s eyes. She was shocked to see the clear blue were darker down and seemed to have no depth anymore. In a flash of understanding, she completely got exactly why Samuel was here, this night, when Jan was gone. She pushed past her boyfriend. He tried to grab her arm but she wiggled away, grabbed her purse and was out the door. She didn’t even bother to close it.

“Babe,” Sabastian yelled after her, “what am I going to tell Samuel?”

“Go to hell,” she shouted and banged out of the apartment building. Calling a cab, they drove straight to the hospital. Daniel was there by their grandfather’s bed. The old man was hooked up to every kind of machine imaginable. His eyes were closed. She got a chair and pulled it over to Daniel’s.

Continued

Negotiating rental leases

06 Thursday Oct 2022

Posted by webbywriter1 in Jobs and the workplace, money, stress, Uncategorized

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In the time of run away rent increases, lack of government controls and rising inflation, it is time for renters to start thinking about negotiating the terms of leases. Attorneys who deal with landlord disputes often get called in only when an eviction is looming. It is time for renters to unite, form blocks of renters unions and set clear guidelines for reasonable, rather than unreasonable, rent increases. My rent has increase 40% in four years. The ‘normal’ amount of increase should have been 12% to 16%. And as always, wages have not kept up.

Negotiations of Leases Between Residential Renters and Landlords

GUIDE TO LANDLORD AND TENANT LAW

https://www.hg.org/legal-articles/negotiations-of-leases-between-residential-renters-and-landlords-43918

Renters and landlords are often at opposing ends in real estate transactions. Many landlords have a standard lease form that they use for all tenants. However, there may come times when a renter wants something other than what is in the boilerplate language a standard lease agreement contains. The renter or the landlord may wish to negotiate different terms. Some ways to accomplish this include:

Understand the Motivations of the Parties

Renters and landlords may have very different interests and motivations. A renter may be in a time crunch and may need to move quickly. A landlord may have had a vacant unit for some time and may wish to fill it. The process can get even more complicated when a leasing company is involved. This company often gets paid every month regardless of whether the unit is vacant or not. If the unit is not filled, it is paid for looking for a renter. As such, this company may not be under the same pressures as an independent landlord. Therefore, an independent landlord may be more likely to negotiate than a leasing company. Even if a leasing company is willing to negotiate, the person showing the property may not have the authority to negotiate with the renter.

Research

Research is a fundamental component to any negotiation. The renter should educate himself or herself about the real estate market in the area before signing his or her lease. This includes investigating the respective costs of other units in the area of similar size and style, looking at the amenities that different locations provide and whether there are many vacant units in close proximity that represent competition to the landlord. By being armed with this information, the renter will be in a better position to negotiate more favorable terms.

Identify Strong Characteristics

The renter can also make his or her case better if he or she can show positive characteristics that he or she offers. For example, if the renter has a strong rental history, he or she can point out this information. Landlords prefer stable renters who pay on time, take care of the unit and have stayed on the property for quite some time. By providing solid references from former landlords, a renter can be more persuasive.

Offer Something in Return

If a tenant is looking for something in particular, such as a lower security deposit, lower rent or more amenities, he or she can offer something in return. Some tradeoffs that the renter might be able to make is to sign a longer lease, such as for 18 months or two years instead of a six-month or 12-month lease, paying more in a security deposit or paying advance rent or giving up shared space or a parking spot that is unneeded.

Examine Other Options

One important aspect of negotiation is having other options open so that the targeted location is not the exclusive choice. This gives the renter leverage and options. Additionally, if the negotiations do not go well for the renter, he or she has another option. This requires the renter to actively look for other units that will fit his or her needs.

Consider Preferred Provisions

Once the renter has all of the research completed and points to negotiate, he or she should carefully narrow in on the new terms he or she wants in the lease. He or she may want an option to sublease the unit in the event that he or she has a job change or wants to move before the end of the lease term. This provides additional protection in case one of the offers the renter makes is a longer lease term. The renter might want an option to renew the lease based on the current or new terms.

Carefully Review the Lease

After the negotiations, both parties should carefully review the lease. This will help ensure that the agreement the parties made is actually memorialized. The parties should carefully check provisions related to payment, who is responsible for repairs and maintenance, insurance information and how absences are treated. Both parties should be clear on who pays for what. If the contract has to be enforced in the future, the terms of the lease will be what the court examines.

Seek Legal Assistance

Negotiating a lease can be complicated. It is a legally-binding contract between the parties with legal consequences. To protect their interests, many renters enlist the assistance of a real estate lawyer. A real estate lawyer can review and negotiate the lease.

Provided by HG.org

Disclaimer: Every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of this publication at the time it was written. It is not intended to provide legal advice or suggest a guaranteed outcome as individual situations will differ and the law may have changed since publication. Readers considering legal action should consult with an experienced lawyer to understand current laws and.how they may affect a case.

Commercial Real Estate and Big Business force out the Middle Class

25 Saturday Jun 2022

Posted by webbywriter1 in aging, exercise, homelessnes, Jobs and the workplace

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Commercial Real Estate and Big Business force out the Middle class in Arizona.

Why are Americans choosing to live overseas? Can small business survive Amazon and Walmart?

Can an employee afford to live here? Why are Americans moving overseas? This is a chart of the number (estimated) of US citizens living abroad.

Country	Number of Americans (estimated)
Mexico	799,000
Canada	273,000
United Kingdom	171,000
Germany	153,000
Hong Kong]	85,000
Australia	117,000
Israel	77,000
South Korea	68,000
France	62,000
Japan	58,000
Spain	57,000
Italy	54,000
Philippines	38,000
New Zealand	36,000

14 Countries With the Most American Expats: Updated: 05/31/2022

Expat Guide

Over 8.7 million non-military Americans live overseas.

However, where do most of them live? Well, the answer may surprise you.

Countries With Most American Expats

First off, this chart won’t include U.S. military personnel. Moreover, since governments collect information on immigration in various ways, there’s no way to provide factual information about the number of American immigrants in each country.

The chart was sourced from the U.N. International Migrant Stock at Mid-Year by Sex and Region, Country or Area of Destination, and Origin.

What country has the most rich and poor? Is this what is happening in the US? Are we becoming the land of the rich and poor? Why does it take two armed Country Sheriffs to guard the local Walmart store during the day?

Top 10 Countries with the Highest Wealth Inequality (World Bank Gini index):

South Africa – 63.0%
Namibia – 59.1%
Suriname – 57.9%
Zambia – 57.1%
Sao Tome and Principe – 56.3%
Central African Republic – 56.2%
Eswatini – 54.6%
Mozambique – 54.0%
Brazil – 53.4%
Botswana – 53.3%

South Africa’s income inequality has become worse over the years. The top 1% of earners take home almost 20% of income and the top 10% take home 65%. That means that 90% of South African earners take home only 35% of all income. ________________________________________________________________________

China, India and the U. S. are projected to retain the top three rankings as the countries with the largest middle-class populations, according to World Data Lab. Slow or negative population growth in some advanced economies will lead to a shrinking middle class in countries like Japan, Germany, Italy and Poland. chart (World Data Lab – Bloomberg).

(Note: The WDL study uses 2011 dollars at purchasing power parity.)

First Published: Fri, September 03 2021. 06:36 IST

GDP = Gross Domestic Product

And PPP = Purchasing Power Parity (per capita/per person on average)

Country	GDP-PPP ($)
Luxembourg	126,569
Ireland	111,360
Singapore	107,677
Qatar	100,037
Switzerland	78,112
United Arab Emirates	74,245
Norway	69,859
United States	69,375
Macao SAR	67,475
Brunei Darussalam	65,675
San Marino	65,446

As you can see, The GDO and PPP (Gross Domestic Product and Purchasing Power Parity of the US: is 50% of that of Luxemburg and Ireland! Are we gradually slipping behind?

Commercial Real Estate owners in AZ own 25% of all property, private owners, 18% and the Federal government 43%. People also ask: https://www.fs.fed.us/rm/boise/AWAE/labs/awae_flagstaff/watersheds/basics/management.html

Bottom of Form Public Land Management and Land Ownership in Arizona Public Land Management and Land Ownership in Arizona There are 72.9 million acres of land in Arizona. Approximately 12.9 million acres, or 18%, in Arizona are privately owned. Approximately 9.6 million acres in Arizona, or 13 %, are managed by the State of Arizona. Approximately 20.1 million acres in Arizona, or 27 %, are held in trust by the United State Government for native Americans. Approximately 30.3 million acres in Arizona, or 42 %, are owned by the citizens of the United States. These public lands are managed by the USDA Forest Service, the National Park Service, military organizations, and USDI Bureau of Land Management

Search Resultshttps://chamberbusinessnews.com/2022/03/23/bill-to-lower-arizona-commercial-property-tax-inches-closer-to-passage/ As rents skyrocket, commercial owners seek to pay less tax. The meteoric rise of homelessness is clearly linked, in part, to rising rent prices.

“Arizona commercial property makes up roughly one-fifth of the property owned in the state, and yet we pay around one-third of the total cost incurred by property taxes,” said Tim Lawless, the president of CREED, Commercial Real-estate Executives for Economic Development .Mar 23, 2022

18% property privately owned

42 % owned by Federal government

25% commercial real estate

85% of all property

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Every resident in the state needs to know that commercial real estate investors are not your friends. They are not your neighbors, they won’t be your neighbors, it is unlikely they will ever live here. They don’t care about the city, the state, the wildlife or the schools. They are here for one reason only and that is to make money. They will then take the cash and live in very expensive and exclusive places (maybe New Zealand or some small island) and leave the residents to deal with homelessness, gangs and crime.

The residents of AZ need to curb the influx of commercial investors of properties that turn us all into the rental poor with no hope of ever buying a home. If the influx cannot be stopped (or we don’t want it to) the people of the state need to put a lid on the rapidly escalating % of rent increases that are happening all over the state. If this does not happen, the middle class drain out of the state will continue and increase. We will be left with a situation that is occurring in California where the cities are becoming composed of the rich, the poor and the gangs.

This state, much like what has happened in California, will not only become not affordable, it will become unlivable. I clearly recall a story told to me from a California transplant. She sold a nice home in Victorville for a loss because the homeless had become so aggressive around the grocery stores, middle-aged housewives were carrying guns in their purses. That is starting to happen here and we need to stop it.

Cew 7/22

Rental Poverty

17 Friday Jun 2022

Posted by webbywriter1 in Jobs and the workplace, money, stress

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Rental Poverty

How much of your monthly income should go to rent?

https://www.chase.com/personal/banking/education/budgeting-saving

In the days when I lived and worked in the LA area, I lived in ‘The Valley’ (San Fernando Valley) and commuted into the ‘city’ to attend meetings, hearings, speak with people, so on. Part of my beat was Beverly Hills, Century City, Belair, West Hollywood, etc. All the very exclusive areas. I mostly used the 405 freeway, sometimes the 101 and some side streets. The commute to the city would start before 8 am and the commute back from the city began at about 2 pm. In all this stop and go traffic, I began to observe certain things.

What I began to see (when I paid attention) was the large number of pickup trucks, driven by men, with various tool boxes and gear in the back. I would see the trucks going south in the am and see the same type of vehicles going back north in the pm. Back ‘north’ was the Valley and then further north, Santa Carita, Canyon Country and further north, Victorville. I began to realize that the middle class folks, to include the butchers, bakers, and candlestick makers, could not afford the ‘city’ and were migrating north to affordable housing. In that commute, they were taking their skills with them.

It appeared that the 45 minute to 2 hour drive (depending on the time of day) was adequately offset by their work compensation so, they kept doing it. I began to realize something else. In Beverly Hills and neighborhoods of the like kind, the people who could afford to live there were the rich, the people who cleaned their toilets and washed their cars. No one else.

What happens when the housing is so expensive that no amount of commuting will offset the cost? There are areas in California now like Oakland, Santa Cruz, places in the Silicon Valley, where the cost of living is so great, they cannot attract workers. I was at the swimming pool recently and a young man shared that he had just taken an engineering job in that area. I know that he must be making pretty good money, however, he indicated the price of rent was ‘eating his lunch.’ I wonder how long he will last?

Three and a half years ago I left California, my home state, to come to Arizona. It had become impossible to live on retired pay plus part-time jobs with the cost of living. When I came here my rent was a comfortable 26% of my salary. Now in just 3.5 yrs, it has jumped to an uncomfortable 34% of my salary. During the same time period, my salary cola increases have been 3%. That plus the rising cost of gas, I am having to check the fridge to see if I have enough food.

Who does this benefit? Well, the landlords of course. But what happens when the cost of living drives out your middle class and you don’t have anyone to fix your expensive houses, expensive cars and teach your children. Who wins? Try no one.

Greed has its price. One that I don’t think our society has even begun to calculate.

Article: Chase Bank

Ideally, your monthly rent payments should leave you with enough money left over for bills, groceries, a bit of non-essential spending, and even savings. Here’s how you can figure out how much of your income should go towards your monthly rent.

What percentage of income should go to rent?

The 30% rule

A popular standard for budgeting rent is to follow is the 30% rule, where you spend a maximum of 30% of your monthly income before taxes (your gross income) on your rent. This has been a rule of thumb since 1981, when the government found that people who spent over 30% of their income on housing were “cost-burdened.“

Under 30%

The 30% rule is a general guideline that renters can follow, but they should also take into account other expenses and factors. For instance, if you have credit card debt or student loans to pay off, consider finding an apartment with rent below 30% of your monthly income, so you can put more of your budget toward reducing your debt.

Why you shouldn’t spend over 30% of your income on rent

If you have to spend over 30% per month on rent, you’ll have less money left over for bills and important purchases, making it more difficult to build savings. Make sure that your monthly rent payments don’t prevent you from paying off credit card debt or loans: your rent shouldn’t cause you to fall deeper in debt.

If 30% doesn’t work for you

The 30% rule does not always perfectly align with your budget. When determining how much you can reasonably pay in rent per month, there are some other things to consider before you say no.

Try the 50/30/20 rule

The 50/30/20 rule is a popular method to follow when determining your expenses in your monthly budget. The rule entails spending 50% of your monthly income on essential expenses such as rent, monthly bills, and groceries, spending 30% on non-essential purchases such as going out to eat, and putting 20% into your savings account. If your rent pushes above 30% of your gross income, by limiting your monthly bills, you may be able to keep rent + bills less than 50%.

Work down loans and debt

When you have considerable debt to pay each month, putting 30% of your income towards rent may still be too much. While finding a cheaper place to live can help you afford all of your essentials, consider working through debt reduction programs to shrink your monthly debt payments so you can put more money towards where you live.

Tidy up your spending habits

If you frequently eat out at restaurants, spend money on entertainment, or travel, consider how these expenses affect your monthly budget. If you would rather live in a more spacious apartment or more appealing neighborhood, cutting back on these extras can help you afford your new space.

Think about where you live

If you live in an expensive area, you may have to spend more than 30% of your monthly income on rent. To maintain a balance in your monthly budget, find ways to decrease your spending in other areas to live comfortably or find other areas to live in for less.

How to calculate 30% of your available income for rent

To find your gross monthly income, take a look at your most recent paycheck and find the line calling out “Gross Pay” (what you’re paid before taxes, health insurance, 401k, and any other benefits are removed from your pay).

Calculate your monthly Gross Pay

If you receive a paycheck every two weeks: Multiply your Gross Pay by 26 (to see your 52-week Gross Pay) then divide that number by 12 (to see your monthly Gross Pay).

If you receive a paycheck twice a month: Multiply your Gross Pay by 2 (to see your monthly Gross Pay).

Does 30% work for you?

If 30% of your Gross Pay is more than you’re currently paying each month in rent, then you’re at a safe level for housing. If 30% of your Gross Pay is less than your monthly rent, many financial professionals would suggest that you find a more affordable home

How to reduce your rent to 30% or less of your income

Split the rent with roommates

Sharing an apartment with roommates can help bring down the monthly rent costs per person. If you can find one or more roommates to comfortably share an apartment with, you immediately save a bit on your rent.

6/17/22 Courtney Webb

WORKPLACE SABOTAGE

11 Thursday Aug 2016

Posted by webbywriter1 in Jobs and the workplace, Uncategorized

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I had a teaching job recently where I had to go through an extensive background check where the employer hired a firm to do the check. The firm literally called old employers and verified I had worked there and what kind of person I was. When that paperwork was done I had to do a group presentation in front of 30 people and answer their questions. That presentation was after several one-on-one personal interviews. Imagine how delighted I was to have jumped successfully through all those hurtles to and to get the job. Wonderful!

The first night I taught I met my co-worker (assistant?). It was the first time I had laid eyes on her. What followed was my co-worker, who had worked at the school several years, left class on a regular basis to go into admin and complain about me and what I was not doing right. For whatever reason, administration felt they had to appease this woman and give her whatever she wanted. When the co-worker began to criticize me and pick me apart in front of students the whole situation went into the toilet.

What were her motivations? Probably many and all along the lines of ‘less for you and more for me’ kind of thing. I was unhappy with that experience for sometime until, guess what, it started to happen all over again in another school. Having learned to not take sabotage sitting down; I immediately went to the boss on two occasions and explained, carefully, exactly what had happened and how this affected the class and the students. I didn’t hear much back from him about the co-workers but suddenly (!) their attitudes changed completely and I was worthy of respect once more. It is a hard lesson that we have to be ever vigilant with individuals like this, but thoughtful review of past jobs shows I have been dealing with people like this a long time and just didn’t know it. Here is a good article on the subject.

How to Guard Against Workplace Sabotage

Falling prey to an unscrupulous saboteur in the workplace can sting, especially if the offender wants your job, credit for your ideas or to make you look incompetent.

The good news? “You’re never too young or too old to learn ways to deal with (saboteurs),” said Rebecca Weingarten, a New York-based executive, corporate and career coach. Below the experts advise how to effectively deal with workplace sabotage:

Know what you’re dealing with:“Workplace saboteurs come in a lot of shapes and sizes,” said Mary Hladio, president of Ember Carriers Inc., an organizational effectiveness firm. “What spurs these behaviors can be small or it has been their modus operandi for their entire career.” Saboteurs include gossipers and rumor mongers, finger pointers, slackers, people pleasers, avoiders, belittlers and downright bullies. With unemployment on the rise, a new kind of saboteur has emerged: one who, out of fear of losing a job, has taken on the attitude of “better you than me, so let me help that along,” warned Weingarten.

Don’t be naïve: Be cautious about to whom you complain, confide and tell your ambitions. The person you’re talking to might become intimidated, jealous or fearful for his/her position.

Check yourself: Once confronted with a possible sabotage, first look in the mirror and carefully consider the unpleasant possibility that you’re the problem, suggested Hladio. “If you’re unsure, consult with a trusted colleague. If you are not the problem proceed.”

Defining the Various Saboteurs

According to Mary Hladio, president of Ember Carriers Inc., one way to combat saboteurs involves understanding them. What motivates them? What personality type are they? You can generically categorize them in three ways:

�Situational: a specific situation or circumstance makes this person difficult. Stress becomes a huge factor with someone situationally difficult. Find out what is going on in his or her world (professionally and personally) that could impact behavior.
�Deliberate: some people believe that being unreasonable or mean results in effectiveness. Because no one has ever successfully cut off their behavior and results are achieved, they feel vindicated.
�Difficult: they have always been this way. Their ingrained behavior is a part of their personality. Only a life-changing event or therapy can correct this trait.

Don’t get angry: Dealing with difficult people presents emotional challenges, so first take a deep breath and try to neutralize your emotions. Pause before responding and do not stoop to their level. The more you can get your emotions in check, the more control you possess.

Confront the saboteur: Conduct a brief, but pointed discussion with the saboteur. Ask why he or she chose to behave as such. “You’ll get the best results by being straightforward, direct and persistent,” instructed Hladio.

Go up another level or two (or three): If your manager seems unconcerned regarding a workplace saboteur, go to his or her boss. Be careful not to complain how the sabotage affects you; rather address how it affects job production.

Leave a paper trail: A paper trail of your work makes it harder for someone to claim a work idea/concept/project as his or her own. Sally Haver, senior vice president of the Ayers Group, said, “It is of paramount importance to archive relevant e-mails, back up your databases, etc. so, in the case of controversy, you’re covered.”

Find a new job: If all attempts to deal with workplace sabotage fail, sometimes leaving becomes your only option, said Patricia Donovan, a grievance chair at University at Buffalo. “If you do, do not do so without telling whomever in charge why you are leaving. Be calm, reasonable, honest and direct. … Be as professional, informed and intelligent as they say you aren’t,” she advised. “Then smile and vayamos. You’ve got better things to do with your life than shorten it by working with (saboteurs).”

By Larue Novick

LIVING MAGAZINE

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Category Archives: Jobs and the workplace

The Sound of One Hand Clapping

Elu’s Story – Part VI

Negotiating rental leases

Commercial Real Estate and Big Business force out the Middle Class

Rental Poverty

Rental Poverty

How much of your monthly income should go to rent?

WORKPLACE SABOTAGE