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Getting Married – How do you rank?

05 Monday Sep 2022

Posted by webbywriter1 in dating, FRIENDSHIP, marriage, romance

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How do you rank in terms of age and not being married?

Estimated median age of Americans at their first wedding in the United States from 1998 to 2019, by sex:

 table  column chart

CharacteristicMenWomen
199826.725
199926.925.1
200026.825.1
200126.925.1
200226.925.3
200327.125.3
200427.425.3
200527.125.3
200627.525.5
200727.525.6
200827.625.9
200928.125.9
201028.226.1
201128.426.4
201228.626.6
20132926.6
201429.327
201529.227.1
201629.927.9
201729.928.1
201830.128.3
201930.328.4

Loading statistic…

Additional Information

© Statista 2022

file:///C:/Users/cwebb9/Desktop/%E2%80%A2%20Age%20of%20Americans%20at%20their%20first%20wedding%202019%20_%20Statista.html

So, it looks like both men and women are getting married at an older age every year!

Divorce Statistics by Religion

By Jennifer L. Betts

Catholic

According to research by the Pew Research Center, Catholics had one of the lowest incidences of divorce, with 19 percent having been divorced out of 4,752 interviewed. The Gospel Coalition noted there is a somewhat significant difference between those who are actively practicing Catholics and those who consider themselves nominally Catholic. The coalition found nominal Catholics are 5 percent less likely to divorce than non-religious persons, while Catholics who are actively practicing in their parishes are 31 percent less likely to get divorced than non-religious persons.

Protestant

The Pew Research Center found Protestant individuals (anyone who identified themselves as non-Catholic, but Christian) included 74% of all Christians, and had a divorce rate of approximately 51 percent out of a sampling of 4,752 individuals. However, these were broken down by Evangelical Protestant, Mainline Protestant, and Historically Black Protestant. Of this 74%, the highest number of divorces among this group were the Evangelical Protestants at 28 percent. The Historically Black Protestants had a divorce rate of only 9 percent according to the study.”

Mormon

Mormons had a divorce rate of about 1 percent. Many studies attribute the low divorce rate among this group to the strong emphasis on families and a powerful religious affiliation.

Muslim Divorce Rate

The most comprehensive study on divorce among Muslims was conducted in the 1990s by Dr. Ilyas Ba-Yunas, a professor of sociology at the State University of New York. According to his research, the divorce rate among American Muslims was slightly more than 31 percent. Top reasons for divorce among Muslims, cited by a later Sound Vision survey, include pressures and issues with in-laws, adultery and harem sex, and incompatibility. However, in 2018, the Pew Research Center listed Muslims having an 8 percent separated or divorced rate out of a sampling of 234.

Jewish Divorce Rates

The most recent available study on divorce statistics among those of Jewish faith states approximately 9 percent of those surveyed have been divorced or separated. A 2017 article in The Jerusalem Post reports the divorce rate among members of the Orthodox Jewish faith is on the rise. The reasons for this include changes in society’s values, the desire for instant gratification, and a disconnected world.

https://divorce.lovetoknow.com/Divorce_Statistics_by_Religion

The statistics are in-you want to get married and stay married? Find a guy who is active in his church.

The Top 5 Reasons for Divorce

  1. Infidelity. Cheating on your spouse not only breaks a vow—it breaks the trust in a relationship. …
  2. Lack of Intimacy. Physical intimacy is important in any romantic relationship, but it is essential to the growth of a long-term relationship. …
  3. Communication. …
  4. Money. …
  5. Addiction.

Feb 8, 2021

Top 5 Most Common Reasons for Divorce – Orshan, Spann …

https://www.orshanlaw.com

So, actually, the chances of meeting someone special are not usually through online dating sites. Most people met future spouses through friends, at a social gathering and either work or school. So, it helps to have friends!

Read more of Courtney’s writing in:
https://sites.google.com/view/webbywritercom/page-5?authuser=0
Also: Amazon/Kindle

Mr. Right/Mr. Wrong – Getting Married

21 Sunday Aug 2022

Posted by webbywriter1 in dating, FRIENDSHIP, marriage, romance

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Tags

romance

MEN – WHAT ARE THEY AFRAID OF?

“What is he afraid of?” I asked her.

“Everything,” she answered.

So, what are men afraid of? I will pull in some psychological data to demonstrate to you, dear reader, that men are actually afraid of many things. Research into the field indicates that men are actually much more controlled by the emotions of fear than are women. They feel fear more often than women, feel it in greater intensity and more often.

Are men afraid of women? Frequently the answer to that question is yes. Fear of what? Rejection, failure of the relationship, commitment, being taken to the cleaners by a woman, being used and primarily, being hurt. Men do not want to be hurt, especially ‘again’ if they have been hurt before. Why then is dating so ‘easy’ for the 19-23 year old group. A lot of it has to do with active hormones and energy levels, and a fair amount has to do with the fact that most people in this age group have never been married, never been divorced and never had long term relationships of any kind, married or unmarried. Because a guy is not divorced, does not necessarily mean he has not been in a (or several) long term relationships. We have certainly gone from a culture where all ‘respectable’ people got married to one where the social norms and rules for relationships have relaxed quite a bit.

All this means, to the uninitiated, is that public records of relationships may not exist for your current love interest. The best you may be able to do on that score is to listen to what he tells you about his past relationships. Also, pay attention to people that you know who know him and may have known him in the past. What do they have to say about him? Friends of friends can be invaluable sources of information. Does this mean you are checking out your current love interest for his past?

Yes, it does. And you should be. Past behavior is the best indicator of future actions.

So, keeping in mind that men are more fearful, especially of being hurt ‘again’ we can understand their more cautious and skittish behavior around women. When faced with cautious, colt-like behavior, being women, we frequently reboot to behaviors (roles) that are familiar to us. Such behaviors as: the Big Sister, the Nurse, the Confident, the Helper, the Guide and worst of all, Mom. The roles are familiar to us and also to men. They do recognize these attitudes/behaviors in women and do react to them. Frequently in a bad way, such as running fast in the opposite direction. So, what are the biggest fears if men in general?

The 5 Biggest Fears Of Men

1. Failing https://www.allprodad.com/the-5-biggest-fears-of-men/retreived Internet 2022

“Failure doesn’t define you; it’s just something we all experience on the way toward achieving goals.”

Why are we so afraid of failing? Are we afraid of living with the shame that comes with it, disappointing others or perhaps ourselves? Are we afraid of what it might reveal about us, namely that we have limitations that we’ll never get beyond? Perhaps we’re afraid failure will come to define us. 

2. Being Incompetent

We want to know that we have what it takes. We want to be useful, to feel needed. If we don’t have what it takes to accomplish a task, again, what does that say about us? That leads right into the next point. One of the triggers for this is when we lose our jobs and struggle to provide for our families. Know this, we all have certain talents. Find your talents and use them; pour into them in order to help others.

3. Being Weak (or Being Perceived as Weak)

For a man, being perceived as weak is probably as bad as actually being weak. And there is nothing worse, for a man, than being weak. Dr. Brene Brown says that the shame that comes from being perceived as weak keeps men from being vulnerable.

4. Being Irrelevant

We all want our lives to mean something when all is said and done. If you are struggling with this one I would suggest two things. First, find out what you do best and then use it to help others. People are in need of love and care and if you provide that to even one person, you will never be irrelevant.

5. Looking Foolish

“The more you step out and risk, the more you are going to misfire. But you will also have more success.”

This is that thing that keeps us from speaking up in meetings or taking on a challenge. Ultimately, it minimizes our impact in the world.

When fear grips you, remember this quote from Teddy Roosevelt and get in the arena:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

…..

 So, recognizing that men in general are afraid of looking foolish, incompetent, weak it therefore follows that they won’t want to look ‘stupid’ in regards to affairs of the heart. So, as women, we need to ‘lighten things up’ and to stop heaping expectations and demands on the men in our lives.

Additionally, we need to drop the helper role. They are men after all and it is important to keep that uppermost in mind. If you want a perpetual child, get a puppy. If you want a man, you will need to learn to behave as a woman and not as an overgrown nanny – care taker. More on that in the next chapter.

Continued

Roe vs Wade: The Worm Turns

28 Tuesday Jun 2022

Posted by webbywriter1 in dating, FRIENDSHIP, kids, marriage, romance, teenagers, Uncategorized

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ROE VS WADE: THE WORM TURNS

Thirty years ago when I was pregnant I was very amazed at the responses, unexpected, that I received from any number of people. I learned that in pregnancy, somehow the whole world seems to own you.

Firstly, I got a referral to an OBGYN from the medical board and went in for a visit. After suffering for 30 minutes with an older male doctor cracking jokes about sex and older women, I had to go to the counter and speak to the nurse. I did that, got my brochures and was told that “pregnancy was a disease” and I needed to treat it like that. Shocked, I rapidly found another doctor.

I was getting my hair cut at an inexpensive salon. The young man cutting my hair told me he thought I was too old to have a baby. I should have reported him to his boss, instead I changed salons. At an outdoor gathering/barbeque with ‘friends”, a friend advised me that ‘she knew someone who could help me out of my problem.’ I looked at her like the Angel of Death and quickly moved away. In addition to that remark, other ‘friends’ (mostly male) worked hard to make me feel ashamed and embarrassed about my condition. Because I was 38 years old and not 18 years old; I was not embarrassed, I got angry, finally.

Recently, when that baby turned 30 and got married, I was again faced with some similar comments. The baby, now a young lady, was engaged to a fella who got a job offer overseas. He could go but she couldn’t go unless they were married. So, the engagement was followed quickly by marriage.

I shared this good news with a ‘friend.’ Her first response was “Did she have to get married?” Unless you have lived under a rock for the last 50 years, you understand that translates into “Was she pregnant and they had to get married?” In other words, my daughter isn’t good enough to get a guy without being pregnant. A year and a half later, I’m still not a grandmother. I am also not talking to that ‘friend’ much  these days.

Since I’m the age that I am; I can remember the days before Roe and the days after Roe. I have known girls who ‘had to get married’ and I have known girls who gave up babies for adoption. In addition to that, I have known women who have gotten pregnant and have been ordered by husbands and boyfriends to get an abortion. I have known the ones who resisted the man’s wishes and said “No, I’m having this baby.” Also, those who buckled under the man’s pressure and got the abortion. Guess who, after all these years, are the happiest and the most unhappy? Spoiler alert, the women who stuck up for themselves and their babies are the happiest.

So, what does this all mean? After centuries of men having children whether they wanted to or not and often more children than they wanted; we have situations where men are not getting the children they want. Women are using birth control, the birth rate has dropped dramatically. Add in abortion rights, the number of unwanted children around has dropped to almost nothing. The worm has turned. Men are having to take responsibility for wanting to have children. They are having to ask, for the very first time ever, asking the woman to please carry their children. How different is that?

Famous couples that broke up over the child issue: Here are three very famous couples that broke up and then remarried, apparently over the child/childless issue. Bruce Springsteen and Julianne Phillips; they got a divorce when she wanted to focus on her career. He remarried Patti Scialfa and has three children now. Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johanssen, they got a divorce and he remarried Blake Lively and they have three children. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston; they got a divorce, he remarried Angelina Joie. They have 3 adopted children and 3 natural children.

My feeling is that if there are 3 very famous couples who have broken up over this issue, there are probably hundreds and hundreds of other couples who have broken up over the very same issues.

For hundreds of years, girls who ‘got into trouble’ were sent away to homes for unwed mothers to have their babies and then shamed into giving their babies up for adoption. These numbers of unwed mothers and ‘unwanted’ babies, at least in this country, have dropped to almost zero. I personally know of couples who are unable to conceive. Couples who desperately want children and are faced with a country where ‘free’ babies are virtually impossible to find. I have seen couples suffer through fertility clinics, surrogate mother scams and painful adoption proceedings.

Roe v Wade will make a lot of people very unhappy. The one sector of our population who are heaving a secret sigh are married couples looking to adopt a baby. I don’t know, maybe the universe is calling out for more babies.

As a society we need to consider why it is that so many young women of childbearing ages don’t want to have children. Why? Is it just the cost? Well, the cost is of course part, but not all. Could it be that we are still caught up in the shame-blame cycles of shaming and blaming pregnant women for their ‘condition’? Do we ever consider that men (of all ages) use women to satisfy their sexual needs? Does it take two generations of women refusing to bear children for men to finally realize that, yes, they too want children? It’s like a thousand country western songs, you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

Pregnancy is not a curse or a disease. It is a gift. A lot more people need to start thinking that way. If you don’t believe me, sit down and have a chat with a childless couple. If we supported women and their children more as a society more, maybe there wouldn’t be such a rush to the abortion clinics.

The end.

Cew 6/22

The Portal

15 Wednesday Sep 2021

Posted by webbywriter1 in detective stories, families, Fiction, FRIENDSHIP, kids, mystery, teenagers

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Chapter One

THE PORTAL

Jeremy Beans, age ten, lived in an ordinary house on an ordinary street. He had a mom, a dad, a younger brother, Samuel, age six and an older brother, Tyler, age twelve. His friends at school just called him Bean for short.

Samuel was kind of fun because he could be talked into playing games. Tyler was no fun because he was always gone Doing Things.

One day, on a Saturday, Tyler was gone with Dad, working on his school science project. Jeremy was home with Mom, Samuel and Beamer, their dog. His job was to get his room cleaned up. Probably the worst job in the world and the one he hated the most. He and Sam were in the living room and they still had fifteen more minutes TV time.

The doorbell rang, and he could hear his mom.

“I’ll get it.”

The door opened, and mom had a short conversation with the UPS man and brought in a brown paper package.

“Hum,” she said, walking to the kitchen table.

“Who’s it from?” Jeremy asked. He followed his mother. Samuel was crowding his elbow, looking too.

“Your uncle Al.” She frowned looking at the package. “You know, the scientist.” She went to get a pair of scissors. “It’s not Christmas or anyone’s birthday, I don’t…”

She opened the package and a brownish square fell out. She picked it up and looked at it, frown lines creased her brow.

“I don’t know…” She turned it over and over. “I can’t see what it is supposed to be. A picture…? It seems kind of heavy…”

Sighing she put the brown square down on the dining room table. Jeremy looked at it.

“Look, Mom. There’s a kind of design on this side,” Jeremy peered at the square.

“Maybe he is trying out some new art design or something. I don’t know, he always was a little weird,” she replied.

The telephone rang, and his mother turned her head.

“Can I have it, Mom?” Jeremy asked.

Distracted, his mother was walking to the kitchen. “Ah, sure. I guess.”

She disappeared into the kitchen and Jeremy could hear her talking to someone.

“What is it, Jeremy?” Samuel asked.

“It’s a…it’s a…hum. A kind of picture.”

“Let me hold it.”

“No, you’ll just break it.”

“No, I won’t!”

“Yes, you will, you break everything.”

“Aw…”

“And don’t start crying either,” Jeremy commanded. “Come on, we’ll put it up in our room and I’ll let you help.”

They both walked the picture back to their bedroom. There was a little hook on the back of the picture.

“Sam, go get the small hammer and a couple of nails from the drawer in the kitchen. Can you do that?”

Samuel nodded and ran for the kitchen. Jeremy walked around their room trying to figure out the best spot for the picture. He finally decided to put it across from his bed, so he could see it. Then, maybe he could figure out what it was supposed to be.

Samuel came running back in with the hammer and two nails.

“Mom got them for me.” He held them out for Jeremy.

Jeremy placed the picture, the hammer and the nails on the dresser. He pulled out a short pencil, made a little X on the wall and hammered in one nail. He didn’t like the way it looked, pulled it out and hammered in another one.

Samuel leaned on the dresser, breathless. Carefully, Jeremy picked up the picture, looked at the little hook on the back and pushed the picture over the nail. They both backed up and looked at it.

“Now what?” Samuel asked.

“Now…I don’t know. It’s just a picture. It doesn’t do anything.” They stood back and stared at the picture a moment.

“I think Mom is making some cookies,” Samuel said.

“What kind?” Jeremy asked.

“Chocolate chip.”

Jeremy put down the hammer and they both made a beeline for the kitchen.

Later that afternoon, Jeremy was taking a light nap and heard a humming sound. He opened his eyes and looked around. What? He looked over and saw the picture was humming and glowing. He got up and went over to it. It started to turn different glowing colors. The colors were neon like and reminded Jeremy of glow magic markers; hot pink, vivid yellow, acid green, red-orange and a bit of navy blue. They swirled around each other.

He put his finger on the surface. It was warm. With a zap! and pop! Jeremy was sucked into the picture. He fell on a soft surface. Shocked and scared, he got up and saw he was on some green grass in a misty clearing. Looking around it looked like the mist was beginning to clear.

This is some kind of small forest. But where? Curiosity overtook him.

Walking through the forest he came upon a large lake. It was very blue. Large, fluffy clouds filled the sky. In the middle of the lake a huge water fountain sprayed water in every direction. Jeremy gazed around himself in amazement.

Where the heck?

Then, slowly from around the other side of the fountain, through the water mist, he saw the outline of a large, masted ship. It was moving his way.

He realized his mouth was hanging open and shut it when, faintly, in a distance, he could hear Samuel calling his name.

I should get back to my room, Jeremy thought.

The next moment he was standing in his room. He turned around and around. The lake was gone, the ship was gone, the forest was gone.

He stared at his hands and then the picture and shook his head. Wow! This is something! The first instinct was to run to mother and tell her about the picture.

No, she’ll just take it down and give it to dad and then he will send it back to Uncle Al. Maybe not just yet.

“Samuel, I’m in here,” he yelled.

His younger brother appeared around the corner looking frustrated.

“Jeremy, where have you been? I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Mom wants to go to the store.”

“Store, ah, sure. Let’s go.” Jeremy hustled his brother out of the room and glanced back nervously at the picture. To his relief, it had returned to its dull brown color. No hint of the neon glow was visible.

#

Later, that evening, Jeremy sat on his bed and stared at the picture a long time. Getting up he went into the kitchen. Mom was making dinner.

“Mom, where is that envelope the picture came in?”

“I think I put it in the paper recycle bin. In the garage.”

Jeremy opened the door to the garage and went out. The three bins were lined up like waiting soldiers against the wall. The green bin for garden stuff, the blue for recycle and the grey for regular trash.

He pushed the lid open and peered inside. On the top of a bunch of paper, sat the yellow envelope. He pulled it out and looked at it.

The envelope was addressed to him which was surprising. He hardly knew his uncle Al and had maybe met him only a couple of times. Seemed like the guy was always busy off somewhere, doing something. Not much time for family visits.

The labels on the envelope were hand written in black ink. There was his name, Jeremy Beans and their address. In the left corner it read: Dr. Alfred Beans, Kitt Pk., Tohono O’odham Nation.

What the heck? Jeremy thought to himself. Something to do with kittens?

He didn’t want to ask too many questions in case his parents decided It Meant Something, and he had to start telling them more about the picture.

Mr. Beans got home with Tyler and they all sat down to their spaghetti dinner. Mrs. Beans poured herself and her husband each a glass of red wine.

“Ah, red wine,” Mr. Beans commented. He nodded to his wife, “good for the heart.”

“Yes, dear,” she replied with a smile.

“What kind of meat is this?” he asked her.

“85% lean from the health-food store.”

“Perfect,” he commented and dug in. “Looks like Tyler is well on his way to getting his science project underway for the next big school science fair. I think he is going to do us proud.”

Tyler said nothing and kept shoveling food onto his plate. Both his parents beamed at him. He ignored them.

“So, anything happen around here today while we were gone?”

“We got a picture from Uncle Al,” both Jeremy and Samuel said at the same time.

“Whoa, whoa, slow down. A picture? From my brother?” Disbelief showed on his face. “Alice?”

Alice Beans shrugged. “Some little brown thing that came in the mail. I don’t know. Maybe he is taking up art or something.”

“Art?” David Beans looked at his wife, incredulous. “Al doesn’t have an artistic bone….”

“Well, I don’t know,” his wife replied. “He’s your brother. I gave up trying to figure him out a long time ago.”

“Humpt.” David Beans got some French bread off the plate. “Maybe I’ll look at it after dinner.”

Jeremy dropped his fork, then picked it up. He didn’t want his dad to do something with the picture, like take it away. Glancing at himself in the mirror over the sideboard, he saw nervousness. He was definitely going to have to keep his cool.

Later in Jeremy’s bedroom, they stood in front of the picture. Mr. Beans, Tyler, Jeremy and Samuel all stared at the little brownish square.

“So, what do you think it is?” Mr. Beans asked.

Jeremy gave a non-committal shrug and moved away. He plopped on his bed and picked up a baseball and started tossing it from hand to hand.

Tyler touched it and lifted it away from the wall, looked underneath and placed it back against the wall.

“It’s not a canvas, it’s much heavier.” He looked at his dad. “I could test it in my chem lab in the garage if you want.”

Jeremy’s heart skipped a beat.

“No, no,” David Beans waved his hands in the air. “Probably just some experiment my older brother was working on that didn’t work, and thinking it was kind of pretty,” he gave a little laugh, “thought our young man here might like it.”

Jeremy was studying his baseball closely.

“But it’s not pretty,” Samuel added. “It’s ugly.”

“Well,” Mr. Beans shook his head, “gift horse and all that. The envelope, I understand, was addressed to you, Jeremy.” He turned and looked at his son. “You want to keep it?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Jeremy was casual, “something different.”

“Okay, then. Well, I think Mom has some dessert. Last one’s a rotten egg!”

The trio scooted out of the room quick march. Jeremy sat and stared at the picture. When he was sure they were gone, he got up slowly and walked over to the picture. He touched it with his forefinger. In that one little spot, a faint orange glow appeared and there was the slightest hum. He quickly pulled his hand away and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Next day, dad was back to work, and mom was busy in the kitchen with a shopping list. Her big purse was on the countertop with her keys and hot coffee mug. Her notebook with the list stuck out of the bag.

“Samuel, Jeremy, here please!”

The two shuffled lazily into the kitchen.

“Ok, it’s less than two weeks before school starts and I have to go get your supplies. Jeremy you still want the thin notebooks with the wire ring on the edge, right?”

He nodded at her.

“And Samuel, first day of first grade. How exciting! We’ll get you lots of crayons and colored pencils.” Samuel bobbed on his toes. “Now, Tyler is in charge when I am gone. Let’s not park in front of the TV all day, ok. Go outside and ride your bikes or something. Get some air.” She gathered up her stuff.

“Where’s Tyler, Mom?”

“He’s in the garage working on his project. Call if you really, really need something. If you’re good, I’ll get Subways for lunch.”

“Yay!” Sam jumped up and down.

“Okay, kiss, kiss.” She leaned down and kissed Sam. She tried to kiss Jeremy, but he leaned away at the last minute. “Okay, later.”

Jeremy stood at the glass slider and watched as his mom get into the SUV and pull out of the driveway. When she was gone he ambled out to the garage with Samuel at his heels.

“Whatcha doing?” He asked his older brother.

“Nothing you would have any interest in so scram,” Tyler turned back to a tiny arc welder and kept dripping bits of metal on a metal plate.

“Okay, well then we’re going down the street to see Sean.”

“Whatever,” his brother waved at him. “Don’t get killed. And, don’t make me call an ambulance.”

“Sure,” Jeremy slowly left the garage, walked down the driveway, circled back to the front of the house and went back through a side door.

“I thought we were going to Sean’s,” Samuel complained. “I think they have a new puppy.”

“Be quiet.” Jeremy went back into the room he shared with Sam and closed the door. “Now you can’t tell anybody about this, okay. If you do, I’ll tell Mom and Dad it was you put the hamster in the toilet.”

“It was an accident,” his brother protested. “I was just trying to teach him to swim.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes and then peeked out the door one more time to be sure Tyler wasn’t lurking in the hallway.

“Go sit down,” Jeremy pointed. Samuel sat on his bed.

Jeremy went over to the picture and laid his full hand on it. The picture immediately began to glow and hum.

“What’s that!” Samuel jumped off the bed.

“Shush, Tyler will hear you.” Jeremy put a finger to his lips. The size of the picture got bigger and the neon colors came back. The humming got louder.

“Come over here and hold my hand,” Jeremy held out his hand and the younger boy took it with reluctance. “Now hold on.”

Jeremy pushed against the portal and both boys fell through and landed on green grass.

“Wow! What just happened, where are we?” Samuel got up and turned around and around in amazement.

Jeremy got up and brushed himself off. The portal hung in the air and still glowed, but the humming was gone.

“Okay, let’s just use our scout skills like Dad taught us to map where we are so we don’t get lost coming back.” He looked up at the sky, the huge fluffy clouds were still there, moving lazily through blue sky with a slight wind. “The sun comes up in the east and sets in the west. Where’s the sun now, Samuel?”

“East?” The younger boy asked.

“That’s correct. It’s to our east. Let’s stack some rocks here just to make sure we know this is the spot. The lake should be over there through those little woods.

“Lake?”

“Yeah, it’s a big lake, very cool. Last time I was here, there was this ship…”

“You were here before?” an incredulous Samuel asked. “Ooo, you didn’t tell Mom and Dad, you are going to be in so much trouble….”

“Hey. I told you before, this is our little secret. I mean, it came from Uncle Al. How bad can it be?”

Samuel shook his head.

“So, what. You want to stay here and wait for me?”

“Well, no.”

“Alright then, let’s do these rocks and go.”

They made a small marker with stones like Mr. Beans had taught them.

That done, Jeremy set off at a brisk pace in the direction he remembered the lake to be. They got through a short grouping of trees and …

“There it is, just like I thought!” Jeremy grinned at his brother. They moved down toward the lake. The enormous fountain was still there, in the middle, spewing giant columns of white, foamy water.

They came to the edge of the water. Samuel leaned over and touched the surface.

“Oh, cold.”

They stood there and admired the beautiful blue surface and then, like the last time, a large, masted ship started to come around the fountain in their direction.

“Jeremy,” Sam pointed excitedly, “a boat, a boat!”

“It’s not a boat, stupid, it’s a ship. A three-master, in fact.”

They both watched astonished as the ship sailed, seemingly by itself, up to the beach where they stood.

There was a large rope hanging over the side.

“Look, Samuel, a rope. We can climb on that way.” Jeremy started to wade out into the water.

“What if we need a ticket and don’t have one? They might throw us off.”

“Oh, come on scaredy cat.”

“I’m not a scaredy cat.”

“Are too.”

“Look, Jeremy, there’s a little walkway.” Sam pointed.

A landing pier that Jeremy had not noticed before was to their right. It led right up to the ship’s side.

“Ok, come on then.”

They hurried over and ran down the pier. Jeremy pushed Samuel up the rope and climbed up after him. Pretty soon they were onboard. There didn’t appear to be anyone else there.

“Look!” Jeremy yelled, “the steering wheel.” He ran toward it. There was a large black hat perched on top of the wheel. He pulled it off and stuck it on his head. It fit perfectly.

“What about me?” Samuel whined.

“Look, there’s a red scarf thing over there. You can put that on and be part of the crew.”

Samuel ran and got the bandana. Jeremy helped him tie it around his head.

“Would you look at us?” Jeremy laughed. Samuel did a little jig around the deck.

“Where to now, Jer?” the little sailor asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just try to steer this thing….”

To his amazement, the wheel responded to his touch and the ship began to move. Slowly, Jeremy turned the wheel and they ended up circling the fountain. Palm trees on the shore bobbed their head in salute as the boys sailed past.

“This is so fun!” Samuel ran from one side of the deck to the other, looking over the side.

“You better not fall in,” his brother yelled at him. “I don’t want to have to fish you out.”

This would be so cool to take home and show to Tyler. I bet that would show him a thing, Jeremy thought to himself.

As if on cue, there was a slight shudder to the ship and ever so slowly, the front end started to lift. Jeremy realized with shock that they were pulling out of the water into the air.

Samuel grabbed a mast. “What are you doing?” he screamed.

“We’re…uh…flying!” his brother replied.

They were completely airborne now and Jeremy steered the ship around the lake a couple of laps.

“Jeremy, I think I want to go home,” Samuel said, “this is kind of scary.”

“Okay, no problem,” Jeremy was more uncertain than he sounded. “Home it is.” He headed the ship back to the beach, past the grove of trees and toward the portal. He figured they were going to have to jump off the ship when it got close to the portal and let it go flying off into space.

However, a curious thing started to happen as the ship approached the portal. The entire ship started to shrink and get smaller. Jeremy and Samuel also began to shrink down.

Samuel ran to his brother and clung on for dear life.

“Jeremy!!!!”

Jeremy had nothing to say. The ship was shrinking, and it seemed to be pointing itself to the portal almost without his help. They got right up to the little hanging square.

“Jeremy, we’re going through!” Samuel yelled in Jeremy’s ear.

Then with a little Pop! sound they were through the portal and back in the boy’s bedroom. There were the two twin beds, made up with matching orange and brown plaid coverlets. Samuel’s Ted Bear was still on his bed. Jeremy’s baseball and mitt were on his bed. San Francisco baseball posters were on the wall. It was like they had never left.

“Jeremy, we’re back home.”

“Yeah, we are,” Jeremy whispered. “But, we’re small and we’re still on this ship.”

“Ooh,” Sam said.

The ship was floating through the air unaided.

“Can’t we just get down now?” Samuel pleaded.

“Just a few more minutes. Let’s see where it takes us.”

Jeremy could still steer, and he circled the bedroom. The ship then, seemingly with a mind of its own, headed toward the door. Jeremy thought for a minute they would hit the door and fall off.

Again, to his amazement, with a slight Pop! sound they were through the door and out in the hallway.

Beamer was lying down in the hallway having a morning snooze. Leisurely, they sailed over his head. With a jerk, sensing something, Beamer woke up and caught sight of the ship. He jumped up and started barking. Jeremy steered the ship higher, so Beamer couldn’t get it with his teeth. This close he could see the dog’s tawny brown/gold eyes and shaggy brown fur. They kept sailing down the hall and Beamer ran after them, nails clicking on the parquet flooring.

Soon, they were in the dining room and Paws, the cat, came around the corner to see what was going on. Shiny black fur with four white paws, he jumped up on the dining room table and started swatting at the ship.

“Paws stop it! Stop it,” Jeremy yelled at the cat who ignored him. They were about to sail past the dining room table when Paws did a giant leap and hooked a set of claws into the side of the ship. The ship began to list dangerously.

“Sorry, pal. Hate to do this.” Jeremy dropped two planks down and a surprised Paws fell to the floor. Recovering quickly, both animals kept chasing the ship.

“Look, Jer!” Samuel exclaimed, “the kitchen window.” Indeed, the kitchen window had been left open and this one had no screen. Jeremy steered the ship right through the open window.

Outside now, the cool autumn breeze buffeted the ship. The sails on the mast blew out to their full extent. Jeremy steered the ship around the backyard several times.

“Can I have a turn?” Samuel asked his brother. “I haven’t had a turn yet.”

“Well, I guess. But don’t run into anything.”

Happily, Samuel grabbed the big wheel. They were nearing the apple tree when there was a screeching sound and Jeremy looked up. In the sky, dropping quickly was the neighborhood hawk.

“The tree!” he exclaimed and jerked the wheel of the ship into the branches of the tree. The hawk whizzed by and screeched.

“Boy, that was close.” Samuel said. “You take it back,” and he stepped away from the wheel and sat down. “How are we going to get back now with that bird and everything?” He plopped his chubby face in both hands.

The ship balanced precariously on a tree limb.

“I know.” Jeremy started to whistle. “Call to Beamer and Paws, they can come out through the dog door.”

Both boys started yelling for the animals as loudly as they could. In a flash, Beamer was scooting through the dog door with the cat fast behind. Beamer spied them in the tree and started jumping up and down barking. There was another screech, higher up and the sound faded away.

“I think we’re okay now,” Jeremy peered up through the branches. “Let’s go.”

Samuel was holding onto the front of the ship and Jeremy turned the wheel and steered it out of the tree and back toward the house. Beamer kept barking and Paws was following close, doing the stealth bomber thing.

Jeremy steered the ship back inside and straight back to their bedroom. With another Pop! sound they were back in their room. Jeremy steered the ship back to the picture and told Samuel to climb off. Sam jumped down to the dresser and Jeremy followed him. The ship seemed to pause for them. He patted it one last time.

“Time for you to go home now, old thing.”

Promptly, the ship sailed back into the picture which closed behind it. There was a slight sucking sound. Sam and Jeremy jumped off the dresser just as they resumed their normal size. Jeremy looked, and the picture had returned to its dull brown color again.

They both lay on their beds laughing. There is a slight knock on the door and it opened. Tyler stood there.

“What’s going on, you two?”

They stared at him innocently. “Nothing,” they both said at the same time.

“I thought I heard some funny noises. And why was Beamer barking like that?”

They shrugged.

“Well, I better not…”

“You know, Tyler. You sound just like Dad.” Jeremy said to his older brother.

“Yeah, and your point?”

“Just saying.”

“Right, moron.”

Tyler closed the door with an expression of disgust. They could hear footsteps retreating down the hall.

“I don’t think you’re a moron,” Samuel said to Jeremy.

“Well, thank you, Sam. That’s very nice.”

“What’s a moron?”

Jeremy laughed then Sam laughed. They both rolled back and forth on their twins.

At least for Jeremy, he couldn’t wait to go back in the portal again

It was a Saturday and Jeremy Beans, aged ten, was very bored. Dad was working ‘overtime’ whatever that meant. Mom was gone shopping and then to yoga class. Tyler was in the garage with his newest girlfriend.

Plus, Sean, his best friend from school was down with chickenpox and it was Absolutely Forbidden to go anywhere near him. Not even to sit and just talk to him.

Bored, bored, bored. He lay on his twin bed and threw his favorite hardball from hand to hand. His eyes came to rest on the little dull brown square hanging on the wall across from his bed.

A month ago, the mysterious package had arrived via UPS to their house. The envelope was addressed to him and was from their Uncle Al. Their uncle, a scientist, lived somewhere up in the northern part of Arizona. Jeremy didn’t understand why his uncle had sent the package to him. He hardly knew the man and had met him maybe twice in his life.

Uncle Al did research with stars and planets. Jeremy thought hard. Planets? Well, something like that. He yawned and stared out the bedroom window. It was fall and the air was clean and bright. The leaves of the maple in their back yard were starting to turn brown and yellow. When they drifted slowly down to the backyard it would be his job to rake them up. But, not quite yet.

He liked autumn. His favorite time of year actually. Halloween was just around the corner. He was working his brain to come up with a really good costume for this year. Sean would be better by then and they could go Trick or Treating together. His younger brother, Samuel, would of course whine and insist on coming along. Maybe they could park him with his mother just one more year. Tyler, his older brother, now officially a teen since summer wouldn’t want to go.

Tyler was insufferable most days. But now with the new girlfriend…. Sally Sweet – Jeremy called her. The girl’s name was really Sally Swenson, but Jeremy like to shorten it. He could hear Tyler and Sally in the garage. She was giggling.

“Gag,” Jeremy said out loud. He tossed the baseball at the trashcan and it landed inside with a Whump!

“Landed in one,” Jeremy crowed and jumped off his bed to retrieve the ball. He could hear the TV in the living room blaring cartoons. Samuel, age six, would be glued to the set.

Jeremy wandered over to the brown square on the wall. He put a tentative finger to the square and once again, it started to glow with a slight neon orange color. The familiar humming sound started. He glanced over at the digital clock on the bedside table. 10:30 a.m.

Hum, he thought to himself. How long would Mom be gone? He got out his wristwatch and put it on. He did the numbers in his head. She had been gone thirty minutes already. She would go to yoga, that was an hour, at least. Then, shopping. That would be an hour and then drive home. He pulled out a pad and added it up. That would probably give them until 1:30 p.m. He would tell Tyler they were going to the baseball field to practice with the bat. He would even pull out the bat to make it look real. Set the timer on his watch so he didn’t forget the time. They could be back in plenty of time.

He sat and thought. Did he really want to take Samuel with him? No, he didn’t. But if he disappeared, Samuel might come looking for him. Then, Jeremy pondered, if he didn’t find his older brother, Sam might panic and blab. Yeah, blab. That would be majorly bad. Mom and Dad would take the picture away for sure and then…

Jeremy went to the closest and pulled out his bat. He swung it a couple of times for practice. He stuck the baseball in his back pocket.

Water bottle, yes. He found his small backpackand stuck the water bottle in there. Then, going to the kitchen, he pulled open the big cupboard. Hum…. peanut butter crackers, yes. Apples, right. Chocolate bar. Oh good, Mom got the kind with almonds. He loved those. He stuffed them in the pack and shrugged the bag over his shoulders.

to be continued…

HIDDEN TRIANGLES

10 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by webbywriter1 in dating, FRIENDSHIP, marriage, Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on HIDDEN TRIANGLES

 

 

“I can’t believe it!”

“It’s true. Believe it. He really did!”

The two women went back and forth discussing the latest horror of their intimate social circle.

Their mutual girl friend had been in a long term relationship with a live-in boyfriend. They were all part of the same social group and attended the same events and parties. They had known each other forever.

They were shocked when the boyfriend suddenly (?) up and bolted the mutual apartment. Further shock and amazement followed when the same guy suddenly (?) tied the knot with a brand new girl no less than four months later.

Was any of this really sudden? Would we be surprised to find out that the young man in question had actually been ‘on the hunt’ for Ms. Right for quite some time? While, of course, still maintaining his ongoing relationship and living in the same place. Would the jilted girlfriend be surprised to find out that the signs had actually been there all along? Here is a recent article on the subject. The author is talking about married couples, but for my money, it applies to unmarried couple living together too.

 

6 Signs of Online Cheating

By Francesca Di Meglio

Updated January 31, 2016.

In an ironic twist, technology – meant to keep us more connected – has made our love relationships more complicated than ever. Online cheating – having virtual affairs that include sexting, racy exchanges of photos or emails, and flirtations on social networks without necessarily moving onto a physical affair – is yet another way spouses can betray one another. While in the honeymoon phase, couples would rather pretend that their spouse would never cheat, virtually or otherwise. But the reality is that no one can be certain of their spouse’s fidelity, and even the happiest couple is at risk when it comes to online cheating. After all, the Internet and other technology, such as cell phones, provide easy access to willing partners and immediate gratification. And without actual sex (or even necessarily the option of ever meeting face to face), online cheaters convince themselves that what they’re doing is not cheating.

So, by now, you’re probably wondering if your spouse could get tangled in an online affair (or more than one).

Here is a checklist of warning signs that your spouse is crossing the line and committing online cheating-

SIGNS OF ONLINE CHEATING

 

  1. Password-Protected Digital Devices

Someone having online affairs or reaching out to strangers for cyber sex will keep email and cell phones protected with passwords and pin numbers. You, even as a spouse, will not have access to these passwords. He or she might also be secretive when online by quickly switching Web pages or closing email as soon as someone else walks into the room. If your spouse keeps online or cell phone activity a secret, then he or she could be having a virtual affair.

  1. Secret Social Media Accounts

If you’re not a friend of your spouse’s on Facebook or Twitter, then he or she could be hiding something from you. If you are a friend, do you know all your spouse’s contacts? Even if you don’t know them all personally, do you know how your spouse knows them? Finding out about the people in your spouse’s various social networks and how he or she uses social networking sites is never a bad idea. And your spouse should know the same about you.

  1. Obsession with Responding to Online Contacts

Obsession with immediately responding to text messages, emails, andFacebook or Twitter messages is another sign that something fishy is going on. However, this warning sign must be considered among others. Truthfully, many of us are addicted to our phones and computers, and some of us are using them more for work and less for pleasure or in innocent ways (to get our favorite recipes, chat with our family and friends – not the kind with benefits – and keep tabs on current events).

  1. Leaving a Paper (or Digital) Trail

Look at your monthly cell phone bills and the browser history on your computer. These are telling signs of whether your spouse is embroiled in online cheating or Internet pornography. You can see if you’re spending more on text messages and whether there are foreign numbers on the bill. The Internet history can tell you something about the pages your spouse – and anyone else who has used the computer – has been visiting.

  1. Weird Behavior

One telling sign of any affair is a change in your spouse’s behavior. A spouse who is suddenly extra nice or extra mean could be compensating for an affair. One might be super sweet out of guilt or super mean in the hopes of justifying his or her behavior, according to Everyday Health.

  1. Double Life

Finding out about dual identities online – secret email addresses or social networking pages or a whole other identity in a virtual world – is a betrayal on its own. It’s one that needs to be addressed both as part of a greater conversation about online cheating and as a separate talk about what is a must to divulge.

WHAT TO DO ABOUT ONLINE CHEATING

Whether either one of you is committing online cheating, you should sit down and have a conversation about what you feel is appropriate online behavior for married people. Set some rules for yourselves, so you and your spouse know what crosses the line, and there’s no question about right and wrong down the road. Indeed, some people aren’t even sure online cheating is cheating. It doesn’t matter what the rest of the world thinks; it matters what you and your spouse think.

Always keep the lines of communication open. Secrets about what you’re doing and who you are talking to should not be happening between spouses. You should be open with one another. Once you’re keeping secrets like this, you are putting your marriage at risk. So, talk, talk, and talk some more.

Those who’ve already determined that online cheating is taking place in the marriage should see a marriage counselor or other professional to discuss the root of the problem and whether the marriage is salvageable. Much like other affairs, the person who committed the adultery, will have to regain trust by doing what he says he’s going to do and refraining from the inappropriate activity moving forward. Then, he has to hope his spouse can reach forgiveness.

 

 

 

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