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Him

28 Sunday May 2023

Posted by webbywriter1 in poetry, romance

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She loved him so much,

so much she was drained.

So much she was sick,

sick to her stomach, sick to her heart.

He toyed with her and played

with her feelings.

Cat and mouse,

he couldn’t stop it.

And yet,

he couldn’t give her what she wanted.

Still, if she pulled away, he would find a way

to yank her back.

Promises of love unending.

Implied sex, so seductive.

The world revolved around him,

and he made her head spin.

Around and around they went together,

never beginning and never ending.

She looked in the mirror and thought,

why do I feel so empty?

She had no idea.

Skunks on the Beach

21 Sunday May 2023

Posted by webbywriter1 in Fiction, mystery, romance

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Kari was lounging on her beach chair staring out at the ocean. It glinted and shimmered brilliantly in the afternoon sun. The waves peaked and descended in a soft, endless motion. She was mesmerized by the sight and the warm Caribbean sun.  A little breeze played over her shoulders as she smoothed on more sun tan lotion.

“God, Matt, don’t you just love this place!” she gushed.

Matt, next to her, on another beach lounger, grunted a reply. He was hunched over his ipad, typing something and peering at the screen.

“Can’t you put that down for just a bit, we’re supposed to be on vacation?”

Matt grunted again. “Uhh.” He scowled at the screen.

Kari threw the bottle of lotion down in disgust. There was no talking to him while he was in one of his ‘writing’ moods. He simply shut everything out.

She continued to stare at the white sandy beach in front of them. Her attention was caught by movement about 50 yards away. Was that a cat? She thought to herself. No, two cats. What are cats doing on the beach? They must belong to someone.

She sat completely up trying to see them. “They’re digging for something.” She said out loud. Matt didn’t look up. “I wonder.”

Kari got up and wrapped her new island shawl around her hips. She had found this really great deal for Easter break on Punta Cana, Dominican Republic and they were actually able to afford a vacation for once. She even had a little left over to shop for clothes.

Slipping into her Reef sandals she walked slowly down to the beach where she could see the animals. If she went too fast, she knew she’d scare them away. She adjusted her glasses. “Cats, no. Not cats.”

“Oh, my God,” she whispered. “They’re skunks. Too much!”  Giggling she moved a little closer.

The two skunks ignored her as they busily dug and clawed in the sand.

“What the heck…?” Kari sank into the sand and watched, intrigued. She could see one of the skunks pull something out of the hole and start to eat it. Some kind of purple fruit? Grapes or plums maybe.

She watched, fascinated while the animals dug and pulled the fruit out and shoved it in their mouths. There was a sharp sound, like a pop or retort of an engine and one skunk looked up, startled. In one swift movement the two ran from the beach still holding fruit in their jaws.

Kari laughed. “What an island experience. So cute! Damn it, where was the camera when you needed it?” She decided to go examine the hole.

Sauntering over she bent down and looked in. A green plastic shopping bag that held grapes had been ripped open by the skunks.  She was still laughing about it when something gleamed in the sunlight. “What…?”

She gingerly pulled out the ripped bag and could see the corner of something in the sand below it. She started to dig frantically with her hands. “Ow!”

She had scratched herself on a sharp metal corner. Ignoring the owey, she dug more and uncovered the handle of a small metal box. She yanked and pulled with all her 110 pounds. The box popped out of the hole.

Speechless, she stared at the little gray box. It was old with corroded metal and a little push lock on the front. She pushed the lock and the top swung back. Her mouth fell open.

The box was full of metal coins, dozens and dozens of coins, some gold but mostly silver. She picked a silver one up and looked at it. It was really worn and old. It looked to be a man with lots of hair and a laurel crown on one side and some symbols on the other.  She was staring fixedly at the coin.

“I’ll take that little lady.”

Kari jerked up her brown curly head and saw a large pistol right in her face. Looking upwards, she could see the pistol was attached to a very large man in an old Hawaiian shirt and shorts. A big man; burly and very tan. He held out his hand.

Kari, scooting backwards on the sand almost fell over. The large man grabbed the box, slammed the lid back on and shifted it up under a bronzed arm.

“I’ll take that one too.” He was gesturing at the coin clutched in her hand.

There was a sharp “plunking” sound and a short branch hit the man in the back of the head.

“Get away from her!” Yelled an angry Matt, waving another branch threateningly.

The man turned and pointed the gun at Matt.

“Back off cowboy,” he waved the gun. “Don’t want nobody hurt.”

The engine revved in the speedboat that had pulled up on the shore.

“Come on asshole!” Another tanned man, still in the boat, yelled at his mate.

The big man repositioned the box under his arm and walked backwards a few feet then turned and ran quickly back to the boat. He handed the box to his friend and jumped aboard. The boat reversed and then sped away back to sea.

Matt ran over to Kari and grabbed her. “Are you alright?”

“Matt, it’s okay, he didn’t hurt me.” Kari was almost breathless and hugged Matt, the coin still stuck in her hand.

Later, the two were in the offices of Dr. Bob, antiquities professor from the University of Indiana. He had a small office in the center of town.

“Well,” he pushed up his spectacles, “It’s not my place to say, but…” He held the coin in his hand after examining it with a magnifying glass. “Wait..”

He went over to a book in the corner and flipped through it. “Yes, here.” He pointed.

Matt and Kari went over to the book and looked down. His finger rested on a color picture of an old coin. “Charles II Merk, about 1676 I think.”

“Wow,” Matt managed to get out.

“How much do you think it’s worth Doctor?” Kari asked.

“Maybe $300 – $350 dollars American,” the doctor replied.

He had listened in silence to their entire story of finding the box, the coins and the men on the beach. He tapped his teeth with a pencil and rolled his chair over to his computer.

“Could be, could be,” they could hear him mumbling.

“Dominican Republic is known, famously really, as a bounty hunter’s treasure trove. Many a ship from Europe sank off these waters taking their treasure chests with them.” He paused, thinking.

“This coin you found,” he gestured at Kari, “Is a silver Merk from Scotland and could very well have been from the ship belonging to the famous pirate, Captain Kidd.”

The young people gasped.

Dr.  Bob continued. “Its value would be even greater if it could be proved to have come from that ship.”

“How would we know?”

“Ah, well, there’s the rub,” the doctor continued. “Your evidence is gone isn’t it? With those two guys in the powerboat.” He put down his glasses and stared at them thoughtfully.

“Police?” asked Matt.

The doctor just shook his head no.

Later, the couple lounged by the poolside at their hotel sipping Mai-Tais on their last night before going home. Matt was pounding away on a brand new ipad and Kari was admiring a new pinkie ring she had purchased.

“You know,” she said thoughtfully, “If we had just held out longer, it might have been proved to have come from that ship.”

“Yeah,” Matt replied without looking up from his screen. “But who wants to stay in Punta Cana. Too many skunks!”

The end.

My latest book!

Scarecrow

18 Thursday May 2023

Posted by webbywriter1 in aging, exercise, Fiction, romance

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He had huge blue eyes, a shock of pure white hair under a ball cap. Tall and gangly, you could tell by his profile he had been a very handsome man once. Sunburned by a thousand hot Fresno suns, he rode his bicycle here and there over the streets of the town. A scarecrow on the back of a bike.

“Bill, Bill, is that you?” The chubby elderly lady dressed in a mauve warm-up suit waved one hand out of her front door. “Oh, Bill, I have something for you. Just wait a sec and I’ll be right out.”

He paused in front of his apartment door, the door key in his hand, and turned to look down the hallway. Impatience clouded his face as he clutched the key.  He decided to head inside. Phyllis would catch up. She always did. He unlocked the door and dumped his heavy backpack on the floor. Thankfully they had a nice bike rack downstairs so he could lock up his bike without having to bring it inside.

He started to flip through his mail, looking to see if there was anything interesting. Whole Term Life, get your policy for Whole Term Life. Discounted, special for senior citizens! He threw it in the trash with a flick. Coupons, coupons, Green Dot Market coupons, he set those aside. More ads for cable TV, wireless phones, hearing aids. Funeral home specials.

“Jesus!” He thought to himself. “I’m not dead yet!”

There was one for a Latin dance club. Cumbiatron!!!!! In bold letters it announced salsa night at the club. He put that one to the side.

There was a knock on the door. Grudgingly, he went to open it.

“There you are, thought I had missed you!” Phyllis gushed with an aluminum covered pan in her hands.

“I wish,” Bill winced to himself.

“I just happened to have some extra of this beef casserole and I know how much you like ground beef. No big pieces.” She smiled the big smile at him, a wonderful set of choppers showing.

“Oh, that is so nice of you Phyllis,” he oozed is his best nicey, nice voice. “You are so right, it is my favorite.” He yanked the glass dish out of her hands and placed it on the counter.

“I thought maybe you could join us downstairs later for some bridge.”

“Sorry Phyllis, I just can’t. Got some things I just have to get done. Maybe next time.” He was scooting her toward the door with his big, boney hands.

Her mouth formed a little disappointed frown. “Oh, I just thought…”

“No, no. You were right to ask. It’s just that I have had a long morning already and have to rest up for this evening. You understand.” He grinned at her. He had a nice set of choppers too.

Phyllis recovered. “Okay then, well enjoy your dinner and next time.”

Bill nodded vigorously and shut the door on her rear end.

“Now where is that blue silk shirt I used to have.” He went into the bedroom and started to rummage through his closet. He wanted to make it so church tonight and see if that new gal was there.

“Lady, Linda,” he mused, “what was her name? Ah, here it is.” He slid the long sleeved shirt out of the closet and examined it. Being over twenty years old, it was not doing too badly.

“Like you, you old dog.” He winked at himself in the mirror. “Lady, I think the name was. Hot!”

He headed for the shower humming a little tune, Lady from Styx.

That evening, Bill arrived at Open Door Mission Church a little early and hustled over to get coffee and cookies before they were all gone.  The church crowd was starting to gather and mill around. Bill worked the room saying hello and shaking hands. He was peering around looking to see if Lady had arrived yet. To his disappointment she was still not there.

“Patience,” he mumbled to himself. “All things in God’s time, can’t rush it.”

“Bill, hey, you’re here!” Came the booming voice of the church pastor. Bill turned. Jimmy Dean, minister of Open Door was a paunchy guy with a friendly face and balding, thin blond hair. He was extending his hand effusively toward Bill.

They shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. After a few minutes, Jimmy shifted his over-tight belt around on his double-knit polyester tan pants. Bill wondered if they came from Wal-Mart. It would be the kind of tacky thing the pastor’s wife would buy.

“Bill, I need to discuss something with you for just a minute.” Jimmy was starting to sweat a little on the brow.  There was a pause while the man tried to collect his thoughts.

“You know that we at the church,” he waved his hand a bit to indicate the congregation, “always appreciate all the help you give us, volunteering and all.”

“I’m here to serve and help Jimmie, you know that,” Bill answered earnestly. “I’m just a humble servant.”

Jimmy paused for a moment, seemingly losing his train of thought.  “Ah, yeah. Right. That is sort of the thing Bill,” he paused again, “some of the parishioners, just a few mind you, have been complaining about the help you have been giving them.”

Bill managed to look shocked. “Whatever can you mean Jimmy?”

“Well,” Jimmy was having a little trouble with the words, “some people feel you are a little, well, intense…yes, yes, that’s the word. A little too intense for their liking.”

“Well, Jimmy, you know that I started out in seminary school, and I have been doing good works and carrying the message of the Lord for all these years. I am so sorry if people just aren’t interested…”

“Interested is not really the right word Bill, no, no. I wouldn’t use the word ‘interested’. No, it’s more like they feel like you come on too strong with them and the message and they feel…” He was struggling again, “They feel, well, intimidated. Yes, that’s it. Intimidated.” The pastor managed a weak smile.

Bill was shaking his head back and forth, mystified.

“Well, Jimmy, whatever it is you want from me, you know you just have to ask. You know that don’t you, Jimmy?” He put a boney hand on Jimmy’s thick shoulder.

“Well, of course Bill,” Jimmy was working hard to maintain the smile. “Tell you what, maybe if you could just, tone things down a bit, for the time being, let the newcomers just sort of feel their way around here, that might help.”

Bill nodded with enthusiasm, “Absolutely, Jimmy, you’re the man in charge.”

Jimmy looked relieved, he could see his wife scowling at him from the kitchen area. “Well, actually, He’s the man in charge,” he pointed a finger upwards.” But still, so glad we could speak to each other like this. Again, thanks for all your work for the church. Have a good service.” He wiped his brow with a hand and scurried off to see what his wife wanted.

Bill smiled and turned back to the congregation and pews “Ass,” he thought to himself. “I was preaching when he was in diapers.”

Jimmy beat it over to his wife, double time.

“Did you talk to him?” she hissed at him in a low voice.

“Yes, Linda, I talked to him. He seems very cooperative.”

“I hope so, I am sick of him. The old moocher,” she shook her head in disgust.

The service was starting so Bill was forced to find a seat with the others. To his delight, he glimpsed Lady coming in late through a side door. She grabbed a seat a few rows ahead of him. He could lean sideways and get a glimpse of her stocking clad legs over a well shod heel.  “Got to love it,” he mumbled a little. The short, dumpy lady sitting next to him shot him a suspicious look. He opened his book.

After the service, the church always served coffee and refreshments and he raced the crowd back to the kitchen.  Lady wandered in and began chatting with some other women. He moseyed over and  hung onto the edges of the conversation, laughing when the others laughed.

As the parishioners started to leave he casually got his bike off the rack and wandered over to where Lady was getting in her car. “So, good to see you here tonight, we just love newcomers,” he told her.

She jerked up, a little startled, and then pausing said “Ah, that is so sweet to hear you say. Thanks Bill, it feels great to be welcomed.”

“Don’t know if you’d ever like to go for coffee after the service,” he ventured.

She had gotten the car door opened and threw her purse in. She looked like she was considering his offer for a moment. “Oh, don’t think so Bill. Thanks so much, I have to get home to my fiancée.“

His guts lurched at the word fiancée. Still, he managed to keep the smile on his face. “Well, maybe invite him too sometime, why the heck not?”

She laughed and got into her car. “Maybe, sometime.” She started the engine and drove away. When she was well out of the parking lot she shook her blond head back and forth. “Men, amazing.”

Bill was pedaling like a madman back home to Happy House Village.  “She’s not that great,” he fumed furiously. “And that suit she was wearing. What’s that color, hot pink? Just another tart in a cheap suit.”

He slammed his bike into the bike rack. As he went by the club house he could see a group of people playing cards. Phyllis was there sitting next to some man he didn’t know. “Yucking it up, as always. Bunch of jerk-offs.” He stomped up the stairs not waiting for the elevator.

Next night Bill rode the bus, putting his bike on the front, and was able to find the Cumbiaton bar for the salsa dancing. Electro Latin Nights the billboard screamed. He was wearing his best blue silk shirt and some nice fitting white pants. He was so proud of himself he could sit fit into all his old clothes. “That’s exercise for you.” Plus, he knew the light here would be very dim so that would help immensely.

Always a good dancer, he was eager to try these new steps. “Go Dog go,” he encouraged himself. He asked many ladies to dance and they usually said yes and pretty soon the whole place was a riot of motion and energy. He was really having fun.

After the end of one exhausting set, he asked his little Latina partner “Drink?”

“Si, senor, Dos Equis, por favor.” Bill ran to get her drink.

As she sat sipping her drink, he fondled his coke. “Would you like to go out sometime?”

She laughed, a little tinkling laugh, and her black curls shook. “No man, you fun but you old enough to be my grandpa.” She giggled again and sipped her beer, her bright red nail polish brushing drops off the low-cut chiffon thing she was wearing.

Bill raised his glass. “Cheers, no problem,” he gave her a big smile.

Back home that night, he stared in the mirror. “What’s wrong with me?” he asked his reflection. “The girls used to always go wild over me. They must have no taste anymore.” Shaking his head sadly over the state of the world he made his way to bed.

Next night, he waited until it was bridge time and ambled downstairs to join the group. He balanced one skinny hip on a plush chair.

“So, Phyllis,” he asked casually, “still looking for that bridge partner?”

“Oh, Bill, that is so sweet of you.” Phyllis gushed. “But, oh, here he is.” She waved to the entranceway as a dark haired man walked in. “Fred, Fred, over here honey!”

Fred sauntered over and plopped down in one of the folding chairs at the card table.

“Fred is my new bridge partner. Isn’t he just the cutest?” Fred, looking a bit like a carnival bear dressed in a shirt and tie, gave a curt nod in Bill’s general direction.

“So, we gonna play or what?” growled Sally, the unofficial bridge headmaster, one cigarette hanging out of her mouth. The others eagerly pulled their chairs up to the table waiting for cards.

“Ah, yeah,” Bill mumbled to Phyllis who was already caught up in the game. He got off the chair and wandered out to the pool and laid down on one of the big white plastic loungers.

He leaned back and stared up at the night sky and the bright, white stars. “What’s the world coming to Lord? What’s the world coming to?”

Finis

The Sound of One Hand Clapping

01 Monday May 2023

Posted by webbywriter1 in Jobs and the workplace

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Recently I finished up a teacher/counselor type position for low-income students. It was a combo summer program and then some Saturdays. I was with the program four semesters. This year we had a very nice wrap up ceremony with lunch, a talk from the big boss, etc., parents and students. A number of the students have been accepted into the college/university of their choice. Other students had gotten summer internships with the local university and others have gotten summer internships or jobs.

As a career counselor person, I spent endless hours with students telling them about community colleges, university, registrations, transfers, loans, grants, scholarships. Then, onto resumes, cover letters, presentations, interviews, selecting careers and how to physically get there. I was so happy to see that the students who stood up to get the rewards were primarily students from my class. Yeah!

My reward for all the hard work and preparation was a Starbucks gift card, lunch and a Go-Team speech. I had to think about this.

My thinking is that maybe the boss is scared if he rewards one (me) for good work, the others will get upset? Then, reward the others for good work too! Is that so hard? The end result is that I walk away from the experience feeling invisible and wondering why I tried so hard.

Although I am sure many students appreciated my efforts, I would really like to get some form of acknowledgement from the boss. Specifically, that I, as an individual (over and above the ‘team’) made a difference for these students and that they (management) recognize the contribution. I know I did a good job with those kids; but it feels like the sound of one hand clapping. Not good. So, that said, lets look as some of the ways (there are many) that managers fail to take care of their people. Ways in which managers…don’t manage. cew

25 Signs of a Bad Manager at Work in 2023

https://teambuilding.com/blog/bad-manager-signs

You found our list of warning signs of a bad manager.

Signs of a bad manager are undesirable leadership traits that cause friction between supervisors and employees. For example, micromanagement, conflict avoidance, and credit-stealing. The purpose of pointing out these qualities is to help managers avoid pitfalls and lead teams more successfully.

These traits are similar to bad leaders, the opposite of signs of a good manager and are examples of poor team management skills. Ineffective leadership can have a significant impact on employee morale and workplace toxicity.

This post includes:

  • warning signs of a bad boss
  • signs of a weak manager
  • characteristics of a bad manager
  • toxic manager traits
  • incompetent manager traits

Here are the biggest red flags.

List of signs of a bad manager

From poor feedback to favoritism to conflict avoidance, here are qualities effective leaders avoid.

1. Micromanagement

Micromanagement is one of the most-often-cited characteristics of a bad manager. Instead of giving staff the time, space, and autonomy to perform, micromanagers over-observe and dictate every part of the process. These bosses demand constant updates that can further delay the result and make the work tedious.

This approach can squash creativity and take a toll on productivity. Employees struggle to find joy and meaning in the work they lack ownership and control over. Not to mention, the need to oversee and sign off on every idea or action conveys a lack of trust.

Leaders are accountable for the team’s results. Anxiety about potential outcomes often leads inexperienced or insecure managers to monitor and control each step of the operation.

How to fix it: Trust your team! Dial back the checking in. Once you and the team decide how often updates should occur, try to stick to that agreement as closely as possible. Oftentimes when managers provide the staff with autonomy and space, employees repay that trust by meeting and exceeding expectations.

2. Failure to give feedback

Delivering feedback is one of leaders’ most important responsibilities. Managers’ primary role in the workplace is to evaluate and guide employees. A manager who neglects to provide performance insight ignores this duty, and the silence denies employees the chance to grow.

Some managers dread confronting staff with less-than-stellar reviews. Others only offer criticism without recognizing positive contributions. Then, some supervisors assume that the occasional “good job,” is sufficient without further detail. Some managers neglect to give feedback at all. Or, perhaps the comments are too harsh, or too unclear. Feedback is an art that many managers struggle to master.

How to fix it: Schedule regular formal reviews on a yearly, quarterly, or monthly basis. Also, make opportunities for more informal evaluations, like one-to-one check-ins or feedback Slack channels. Roleplay and practice delivering constructive comments outside of work to grow more comfortable with the process.

3. Inability to say “no”

There are a surprising number of individuals in management positions who are uncomfortable saying “no.” These individuals have trouble standing up to their bosses, other departments, and sometimes, even their own team.

The manager should be a voice of reason and should not be averse to provide pushback. A manager who is afraid of offending is more worried about keeping the peace than the long term effects of agreeing.

How to fix it: Realize that accommodating coworkers is not a zero sum game. Pleasing one party might inconvenience another. Make decisions out based on business interests, not politeness. Practice saying no so that you grow more comfortable asserting yourself and advocating for your team’s needs.

4. Absence of empathy

A lack of empathy is one of the worst toxic manager traits primarily because this quality lays the foundation for other bad behaviors. A manager who fails to recognize feelings of employees may not think twice about gossiping, screaming, or overworking staff.

In its most extreme form, this quality appears as workplace abuse. However, more subtle manifestations of this trait include bosses guilting employees over taking sick leave or flaunting wealth in front of minimum wage employees.

How to fix it: Practice mindfulness and self-awareness. In times when you cannot show kindness, then give your employees space. Make an effort to observe and imagine other folks’ feelings. Search for the root of your lack of compassion. Trust yourself to draw the line between being nice and being taken advantage of.

5. Gossip

Leaders should actively discourage gossip to promote a healthy team culture. Spreading rumors and hearsay does not set a good example for the staff.

Not to mention, the act tanks trust. Employees who overhear a manager speculating about a colleague may worry about becoming the subject of such gossip. As a result, teammates will not confide in the manager, causing a rift in the relationship. Managers cannot lend support when they are unaware of team members’ struggles, and team members will not admit those struggles when suspecting the manager will not keep a secret.

Gossip has no place in inclusive workspaces, and managers should strive to make the workplace welcoming and safe for all team members.

How to fix it: Don’t do it. If you would not make the statement to the subject’s face, do not say it to a colleague. When other coworkers begin to gossip while talking to you, either correct the employees or leave the conversation.

6. Poor communication

Good managers keep in touch. Bad managers go radio silent. This occurrence is a problem especially when managers are based in separate locations, travel frequently, or if the team is fully remote.

Or, if the leader does communicate, the conversation is one-way. The boss sends an email or instant message, yet never responds to follow-up questions. This manager promises to call back later but forgets to pick up the phone.

The occasional delayed response is understandable, but this manager makes a habit of ghosting the team.

How to fix it: Stick to a communication schedule, even if you have nothing new to report. Set deadlines for important conversations, for instance, replying within 24 hours. Use a communication tool to make reaching out easier and more convenient.

Here is a list of remote work platforms to help you communicate.

7. Over-reliance on employee self-management

There is a difference between giving employees freedom to do their jobs and forcing them to fend for themselves. Good managers give employees autonomy and defer to their judgment, yet still observe and give input.

Bad managers are often unaware that decisions are even being made. These individuals never implicitly command employees to take the reins, yet never make a decision that might mean otherwise. Employees assume that the issue will continue unless someone takes actions, so the staff steps up and solves the problem out of a sense of duty. There are no instructions from the manager beforehand, and often, no thanks afterwards.

This behavior turns employees into managers without the pay or title. Assuming too much responsibility can make the staff feel overwhelmed, unappreciated, and resentful.

How to fix it: Distinguish between manager tasks and employee tasks. For instance, staff can make shift swaps but should not create the schedule, and mediating conflicts between coworkers is a manager’s responsibility. Hold regular meetings and check-in’s and remain aware of the day-to-day happenings of the job. Do not take advantage of employees’ eagerness to help or prove themselves.

8. Disorganization

Disorganization is one of the main incompetent manager traits. There is a fine line between being slightly scattered and being consistently disheveled. Disorganization becomes a problem when managers constantly forget details, lose documents, and miss meetings. This behavior sets a poor standard for the department, and can also cause extra work and for other team members.

How to fix it: Find or create a system that works for you. Take an hour or two at the start or end of each week to organize. Evaluate whether you need an assistant, or just need to get your act together.

You can also use scheduling software to help arrange your day.

9. Conflict avoidance

Conflict avoidance is one of the main signs of a weak manager. Achieving team harmony is a manager’s goal, however trying to avoid any type of disagreement often has the opposite effect. When managers squash squabbles without addressing the underlying causes, resentment can build and an even greater argument may arise down the line. Instead of trying to stamp out any sign of trouble, leaders should teach teams how to navigate and resolve disagreements respectfully. It is the role of managers to lead mediation, diffuse the tension, negotiate, and steer the group towards compromise.

Ignoring the issues will only procrastinate the problem until the situation reaches a boiling point.

How to fix it: Establish a mediation process early to provide a structure for problem-solving. Encourage productive communication practices and teach teammates how to hold respectful dialogues.

10. Unavailability

Managers may not be available to staff during all hours of the day. However, if teammates consistently feel as if their supervisor does not have time for them, then there is a serious problem.

How to fix it: Block out “office hours” and be available to staff during these times. Regularly check in with staff. You can also schedule regular one on one meetings to ensure all employees receive individualized attention.

11. Lack of delegation

The non-delegator is a bad boss in disguise as a good boss. The “jump-in-the-trenches” approach can earn staff’s admiration and loyalty during busy times, yet can also earn the team’s ire in slower seasons. Managers who insist on taking on tasks that teammates are capable of handling are one step away from micromanagers.

How to fix it: Realize that your role as a boss is to coach and guide employees, not to do everything yourself.

12. Favoritism

An ideal manager treats all team members equally. Bad bosses play favorites. These leaders may have personal relationships with direct reports, for instance, being related. Or, the boss may just like one employee more than the others. Preferences are not a crime, however special treatment is a cardinal manager sin. These leaders give out opportunities and privileges not based on merit or skill, but rather on personal feelings. Preferential treatment is discouraging and demoralizing for non-favored employees. There is no incentive to try or strive if reward and regard automatically go to the manager’s pet.

How to fix it: Be mindful of interactions you have with your staff. Make notes about privileges. If an employee pushes you for special treatment, then have a frank conversation about your need to stay impartial despite your close relationship.

13. Credit-stealing

Credit-stealing is one of the most obvious warning signs of a bad boss. These managers pass off employees’ ideas and efforts as their own, or fail to mention team members’ contributions. Sometimes, bosses behave this way by accident, merely forgetting to give staff a shout-out. Thanking employees in private yet never bringing up their name in public is not sufficient either.

Nobody wants to feel that their work goes unnoticed, nor that someone else is reaping the rewards of their intelligence and effort. Employees have aspirations and ambitions and are not simply a tool to make the boss look better. Staff deserve the chance to advance their careers. Hoarding the applause is unfair.

How to fix it: Be realistic in your role in the project and honestly evaluate who had the most influence on the end result. Pass along the praise and name your employees. Give your team credit, and they will likely give you credit in return. If you struggle to share the glory, then use the phrase “it was a team effort” as a baby step.

14. Insults

Most folks would agree that a manager who calls employees morons is not a good boss. Toxic leaders feel entitled to belittle staff and call employees names. Tearing other folks down masks their insecurity and makes the boss feel more in control.

How to fix it: Avoid name-calling. If making the comment to your own boss would result in your firing, then do not say it to your staff. Focus on solutions to the problem at hand instead of hurling character attacks.

15. Blame

There is a difference between accountability and blame. Accountability is action-based and focuses on the future. Blame revolves around labels and deals with the past.

A good manager holds teammates to high standards and points out when staff fail to meet expectations. When a misstep occurs, effective managers focus on finding solutions instead of hurling accusations. Good managers assign fault only in service of fixing an error, not to make a judgement on the employee’s capabilities or character. Bad managers harp on mistakes and can sink morale and productivity. These bosses’ first instinct is to point fingers and shame rather than analyze the issue.

How to fix it: Prioritize a solutions-based approach. Focus more on how to fix the problem than who caused it.

16. Excessive anger

Type “bad boss” into a Google Image search, and approximately half of the results will show managers screaming at employees, often with a megaphone. The cartoonish stereotype of a mean manager is always in a foul mood, waiting for an opportunity to yell at employees, usually for an issue that is not the employee’s fault.

Plus, when the boss explodes, the delivery overshadows the message. Employees will dwell on the confrontation instead of considering the message.

How to fix it: Learn to pause before reacting. Practice meditation, breathing exercises, and other anger management techniques. Plan an escape route in case you need to cool down before responding. If the anger persists, then consider seeking professional help.

17. Poor listening habits

Bosses are busy. Managers can easily get distracted when there are one hundred things running through their minds. However, when poor listening habits become a pattern, problems arise. Employees are unlikely to feel heard or valued when managers interrupt or make team members explain for the fifth time. Having repeat conversations wastes time and causes frustration. Plus, half-listening can lead to misunderstandings and mistakes. Most importantly of all, bad listening hygiene sends the message that managers do not care about the staff.

How to fix it: Practice active listening tactics, such as repeating phrases back to the employee. If busy or distracted, then reschedule the conversation for a better time. Make an effort to hear and understand employees.

18. Tunnel vision

Managers serve as links between teams and the rest of the company. Effective managers act as liaisons that translate and compromise between the organization and the group. No department operates in a vacuum. Decisions that inconvenience or may not make sense to one team might exist to keep operations running smoothly. Managers are often privy to information that employees are not aware of. Part of a manager’s duty is to relay the reasoning behind these choices to the team and help direct reports understand the bigger picture.

How to fix it: Think on a grander scale. Pretend you’re getting transferred to a different department tomorrow, and ask yourself whether or not your new colleagues would welcome you if you acted this way. Build relationships with coworkers in other departments and communicate regularly. Forming a rapport will help you empathize with colleagues more.

19. Manipulation

The role of managers is to unite the workforce around a common mission, yet some bosses pit co-workers against each other. This behavior sometimes comes from a misguided notion that rivalry will elicit the team’s best performance, when in reality over-competition among peers prevents proper teamwork.

While this sort of aggressive persuasion can be quite effective, it comes at the expense of eroding employees’ trust. Real managers motivate, not manipulate. The difference between the two tactics is that motivation is rooted in honesty and benefits employees, while manipulation is sneaky and self-serving.

How to fix it: Be mindful of staff’s reactions and signs of resistance. Don’t ask them to do stuff beyond job description, and accept no when they do– Don’t beg– be clear and transparent– can also appeal to them by explaining reasoning–

20. Unquestionable authority

Authoritarianism is often cited to be the least effective leadership style. Bad bosses operate like dictators, demanding respect and obedience and punishing anyone who challenges their authority. The boss’s word is the way, and discussion or disagreement is not allowed. Employees become order-takers and learn not to ask questions or offer opposing ideas.

This atmosphere stifles innovation and creativity. A lack of checks on authority is also bad for the health of the organization. Bosses are not infallible at making poor choices, yet employees will not bring up concerns when conditioned not to speak up.

How to fix it: Foster two-way feedback and give employees advice. Acknowledge the ability to be wrong. Encourage debate and conversations. When enacting authority, explain your reasoning so that employees understand the logic behind decisions.

21. Unprofessional behavior

Unprofessional behavior is a catch-all for bad bosses. Sexism and racism are the most extreme iterations. Other examples include disregarding the dress code, slacking, disrespecting higher management, and excessively tending to personal matters on the clock. Left unchecked, these behaviors can embolden other employees to misbehave and ignore the rules. Such actions can also cause unnecessary conflicts and stress for staff.

22. No team building

Neglecting team building is not the worst thing a manager can do, but is also not the best. Ineffective managers make no efforts to help the staff get along. These bosses treat team members like individual employees, and ignore the lack of camaraderie or teamwork in the workplace. While any team member can take the initiative to plan outings or spark up conversations, it is ultimately the manager’s responsibility to turn the group into one cohesive unit.

23. Appearance-obsessed

These managers care more about reputation than reality. Shallow and insecure, these bosses are more concerned with being popular and well-liked than being effective. This leader may push the team to hit numbers and quotas just to look better to the big bosses and company at large, with no regard to worker wellbeing. Or, maybe these managers fudge the numbers altogether, or stage a setup that makes the workplace appear more functional than normal. Perhaps these managers pretend to be nice to staff only when higher ups or coworkers are around.

On the more innocent side of the scale, the manager may try to be a “cool boss,” and gain approval. These individuals aim to be well-liked rather than respected. They believe that their image and reputation take precedence over actual results.

How to fix it: Choose meaningful standards of measurements. Angle for results over good advertising, even if those results take time to materialize. Also, solicit honest feedback from peers and staff. When you receive feedback regularly, you will be less obsessed with impressing others or avoiding scorn.

24. Date or hit on staff

Many companies have rules against managers dating subordinates, for good reason. The power imbalance between bosses and employees means that the pair can never be on equal footing. Skeptics say that companies primarily aim to avoid lawsuits, yet organizations also try to protect staff who might feel obligated to date a boss to avoid career repercussions.

Bosses who date employees against company rules almost universally fall into the bad manager category. This behavior is dishonest and endangers the employee and the company.

Also, a manager serially dating subordinates can signal a lack of boundaries and professionalism.

25. Quiet firing

Quiet firing is when a manager disengages from an employee’s happiness and growth in the workplace. This concept is a clear sign of poor management, and can be very destructive to an organization’s morale and productivity. An easy way to spot quiet firing is when a manager continuously reschedules or cuts short 1 on 1 meetings with a direct report.

Learn more about how quiet firing works.

Final Thoughts

Inexperience causes many young supervisors to exhibit weak manager skills. However, leaders of any age are prone to personality flaws and bad habits. Plus, bosses are human, and humans have bad days. However, when the bad days outweigh the good, chances are that the leader is not a good boss. The good news is that self-improvement is possible and almost all flaws are fixable. With self-awareness and hard work, bad bosses can become better. The only truly bad boss is one who is unwilling to change.

Morning Moon

24 Monday Apr 2023

Posted by webbywriter1 in poetry

≈ Comments Off on Morning Moon

I gaze at the morning moon,

big and full in a

pink and blue sky,

streaked with thin clouds.

So perfect, serene.

Unlike us,

full of strife and

adversity,

pain and guilt.

Unspoken truths and

whispered secrets.

The moon is up there,

unworried, calm,

at peace.

Dr. Death

24 Monday Apr 2023

Posted by webbywriter1 in aging, exercise, poetry

≈ Comments Off on Dr. Death

He’s so kind,

that Doctor Death.

Delivering one patient

at a time

with his sharp needles

to the sweet arms of Morpheus.

As the body is rowed

across the River Styx,

the relatives cry and

clutch their pocket books.

Crying in relief as

the dirt hits the coffin.

Their responsibilities

over, they can

go comfortably

back to their lives

and wait their turn

for smiling,

Dr. Death.

Death Watch

23 Sunday Apr 2023

Posted by webbywriter1 in aging, exercise, Fiction

≈ Comments Off on Death Watch

   

I rushed through the door, running late.

She was already there, sitting on the edge of the bed,

stroking the old lady’s hair with the back of her hand.

“You’re here,” I said breathlessly.

She nodded, head down, with a little half smile,

watching the old lady.

“She’s…”

“Sleeping, she’s just sleeping. She had some breakfast earlier and is doing alright.”

I sighed, dropping down on a chair, stuffing my car keys in my bag.

“So…”

She shook her head slowly back and forth; kept stroking the hair.

“I wondered….,” I started slowly, “could you tell me when I…”

“No!” She looked up and me and frowned.

“Well, I was just thinking…”

“Don’t think,” was the terse reply. “You’ve got a lot of nerve asking.”

“Oh….” I looked away, embarrassed. “Okay.”

“She’s had a good life,” she murmured. There was a slight rustling sound as she adjusted her wings.

“Oh, well, yes, of course. She has.”

The old lady’s eyes suddenly popped open and she stared open-mouthed at the young woman.

“It’s you,” she breathed and smiled.

The end

Broken Toe

20 Thursday Apr 2023

Posted by webbywriter1 in kids, poetry

≈ Comments Off on Broken Toe

                                                           

It was a broken toe,

But she had to go,

Trick or Treating or

die,

from lack of candy and friends and

running up and down.

Costumes and makeup,

things in the hair,

kids going crazy,

all everywhere.

Yes, that toe was broken,

that I knew.

But Halloween

couldn’t be denied.

Yes, it’s a little bent,

But, be of good cheer,

It’s just a holiday

 souvenir.

A Case of Zoonoses

19 Wednesday Apr 2023

Posted by webbywriter1 in kids, poetry

≈ Comments Off on A Case of Zoonoses

                                                         

I was in bed with something atrocious.

Maybe, I thought, it was zoonoses!

As I consulted my Big Book of Diseases,

again and again, I kept having sneezes.

Maybe it was zebraocity or a

case of gorillititis or

Perhaps, elephantitus.

Hummingbirdicy or

Clownfishitus hit me.

Dogfishtitus or a bit

of catnipitus.

So many animals I can’t

take it in.

How can we all fit

in the doctor’s office?

I’m sure I don’t know.

Pulling the covers up to my chin,

just when my Mom comes walking in.

She sighs, “Oh, oh, the Big Book again?”

I nod and she takes my temperature.

“I think it’s a bit better.”

She leaves with my book under her arm.

I get soup for dinner.

I can’t help but wonder:

how would a dogfish eat this

anyway?

Pinkie

17 Monday Apr 2023

Posted by webbywriter1 in aging, exercise, poetry

≈ Comments Off on Pinkie

She is old

and brown.

Wrinkled like a walnut.

Her clothes and bags

are tattered and worn.

She peers into the

train station mirror

and carefully, carefully

applies the hot, pink lipstick

with her pinkie finger.

Moving her face back and forth,

she observes her handiwork.

Satisfied with its vibrant glossiness,

she is ready to face the day.

3/12

Cew

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