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Jeanine’s Art

15 Wednesday Nov 2023

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Jeanine Colini Design Art

Jeanine’s Nativity watercolor has been selected for the 3rd Annual Creche Festival in Houston, Tx.

Call/text  213.507.5825

Email  jeanine@jcda.com

Shop  https://www.jcda.com/

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/JeanineColiniDesignArt

Instagram  http://instagram.com/jeaninecolini

Fr. Antoine Poidebard – Part II

05 Sunday Nov 2023

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Books and written work

Books: The Syrian Desert with Rene Moaterde and Le Limes de Chaleis. (The Limits of the Roman Empire.)

Poidebard and Felix Marie Charles Moatti collaborated on the influential archaeological and geographic work titled “La Piste Oubliee: A la recherche des tresors de l’Orient (The Forgotten Path: In Search of the Tresures of the East).” The book was published in 1934 and documents their joint aerial archaeological explorations in the Syrian Desert. Poidebard, the aviator, and Moatti, the photographer, used aerial surveys and photography to capture the landscapes and archaeological sites of the Syrian Desert.

This work, often referred to as “The Forgotten Path,” is known for its pioneering contributions to the field of aerial archaeology. Through their aerial photographs and surveys, Poidebard and Moatti documented ancient Roman roads, fortresses, and other archaeological features in the Syrian Desert. Their research shed light on the historical significance of this region and provided new insights into ancient civilizations that once inhabited it. (Retrieved Internet 2023.)

“The Forgotten Path” remains an important reference for scholars and researchers interested in the archaeology and history of the Middle East and the application of aerial techniques in archaeological exploration.

Theories

Poidebard made significant contributions by photographing a number of abandoned Roman forts in the area. His theory at the time was that these outposts of the Roman Empire were to hold back invaders. Although, modern thought has come to deviate from those ideas. (Retrieved Internet 2023.)

The exact timeline and reasons for the Roman withdrawal from regions within Iraq, Iran and Syria varied. In some cases, the Romans voluntarily withdrew to consolidate forces and focus on defending core territories. In other cases, they were gradually pushed out due to military defeats and external pressures. The decline and fall of the Western Roman Empire in the 5th century CE (common era) marked a significant turning point, leading to the eventual fragmentation of the empire’s territories in the Middle East and elsewhere. (Retrieved Internet 2023.)

Cold War satellite images reveal nearly 400 Roman forts in the Middle East

News

By Ben Turner  Live Science Magazine 10/23. https://www.livescience.com/archaeology/romans/cold-war-satellite-images-reveal-nearly-400-roman-forts-in-the-middle-east?utm_term=35FB7B5F-D6F0-4F8F-B

The photos, taken in the 1960s and 1970s by the first spy satellites, reveal that the eastern border of the Roman Empire was a place of vibrant trade.

Four roman forts captured in satellite photos by the U.S. military’s Corona project, which ran from 1960 to 1972. (Image credit: CORONA/Courtesy Jesse Casana/Antiquity Publications Ltd)

Declassified images from Cold War spy satellites have revealed hundreds of previously undiscovered Roman forts in Iraq and Syria — and their existence suggests the eastern border of the ancient empire wasn’t as violent as initially thought, a new study finds.

Researchers already knew about a series of forts — spanning roughly 116,000 square miles (300,000 square kilometers) from the Tigris River in modern-day Iraq to the plains of the Euphrates River in Syria — that were once thought to belong to a north-south border wall that separated the Romans from the rival empire of Persia. 

But the distribution, from east to west, of the newfound forts along with those previously known ones, hints that they were built to facilitate peaceful trade and travel. The new study, published Thursday (Oct. 26) in the journal Antiquity, refutes a 1934 hypothesis by the French archaeologist and Jesuit priest Antoine Poidebard that the eastern fortifications were built to repel invaders.

“Since the 1930s, historians and archaeologists have debated the strategic or political purpose of this system of fortifications,” lead study author Jesse Casana, a professor of anthropology at Dartmouth College, said in a statement. “But few scholars have questioned Poidebard’s basic observation that there was a line of forts defining the eastern Roman frontier.”

Stretching across the deserts of Iraq and Syria, Poidebard discovered 116 of the second and third century A.D. forts after taking aerial photographs in the 1920s and 1930s. Looking at their placement from his biplane, which he learned to fly during World War I, Poidebard hypothesized that the square-shaped strongholds created a north-south defensive line that drove back raids from Parthians and later the Sassanid Persians. 

Until now, Poidecard’s hypothesis was widely accepted by historians. But after analyzing high-resolution images of the region taken by spy satellites in the 1960s and 1970s, the researchers discovered 396 previously unknown forts or fort-like buildings that were sprinkled widely from east to west.

This suggests the border was more fluid than first thought, with the outposts existing not along the border but through it — protecting trade caravans as they ferried people and goods between Rome and the neighboring Parthian (later Sassanid Persian) Empire. The archaeologists say this raises an important question about the border: “Was it a wall or a road?”

The researchers say their study highlights the importance of declassified images in archaeological research — especially as many of the forts revealed in the photos have now been destroyed by agricultural expansion and urbanization. They expect more discoveries to accompany the declassification of other aerial images, such as those taken by U2 spy planes.

“Careful analysis of these powerful data holds enormous potential for future discoveries in the Near East and beyond,” Casana said.  Archaeologist Poidebard sorting shards ( Bak 1928).

AERIAL ARCHAEOLOGY

Antoine Poidebard- Archeologie.culture.FR (retrieved Internet 2023.)

Jesuit missionary and explorer, Antoine Poidebard (1878-1955) settled in Beirut in 1925. Charged with mapping missions by the French mandatory authorities, he realised the extraordinary potential of aerial reconnaissance for recording archaeological data.

From the shores of the Mediterranean to the skies of the Levant (Middle East)

Provided with logistical support by the French airforce, he clocked up thousands of flying hours, mainly over the desert steppes of Syria, but also along the Mediterranean coast as far as Algeria and Tunisia. A highly talented amateur, Poidebard developed innovative technical processes and used strict procedures, paving the way for aerial archaeology as a scientific method.

Using art and technology for archaeological research

Antoine Poidebard’s archives are conserved in the Oriental Library of Saint Joseph University , which presents some of them in its virtual exhibition. It reveals the surprising conjunction between the rigours of scientific research and the artistic scope of Poidebard’s photographs, combining photography, aeronautics and archaeology. (https://www.usj.edu.lb/search.php?q=antoine%20poidebard) Universite Saint-Joseph de Beyrouth.

“Archives collected in the desert sand” 2016-2017 at the Laténium

In 2016-2017, an exhibition devoted to Antoine Poidebard, called the “Archives collected in the desert sand, from Palmyra to Cartago” was organised by the Laténium (https://latenium.ch/en/press-and-archives/exhibition-archives-old/archives-des-sables-de-palmyre-a-carthage/) (Neuchatel, SUI) to shed light on the outstanding aerial photographs taken during the interwar period by Poidebard in the Near East.

Leaflet | © OpenStreetMap contributors

SCIENTIFIC DIRECTION

Marc-Antoine Kaeser (Laténium)(Switzerland) and Lévon Nordiguian (University of Beirut)

 

Fr. Antoine Poidebard and the Middle East

05 Sunday Nov 2023

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Fr. Antoine Poidebard and the Middle-East.

Courtney Webb

Antoine Poidebard; Lyon, France 1878 to Beirut 1955, (77 years) was a Jesuit priest and member of the Society of Jesus.

He developed the art of aerial photography by flying over Iraq, Syria and Jordan in a biplane in the 20’s and 30’s. His numerous photographs have been used to this day and he was able to discern differences in vegetation to show abandoned Roman forts and roads.

How and why was he there? The Mandate for Syria and Lebanon was established in 1920. Under this mandate, France assumed administrative control of the territories of modern-day Syria and Lebanon. However, the actual implementation of the mandate was met with resistance from local nationalist movements and populations who sought independence.

The mandate had been granted by the League of Nations to France after World War I. The purpose was to establish governments in area previously ruled by the Ottoman Empire.

Later, Syria and Lebanon were both granted independence from France in 1943. Poidebard was financially supported by various institutions to do research, especially in Syria. One of the significant sources of funding for his work was the French government. His archaeological and aerial survey missions were often sponsored by the French Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the French Ministry of National Education. (Retrieved Internet 2023.) He received additional funding from the French Institute of Archaeology in Beirut and the French School of Athens.

 map of the Middle East area

 map of Beirut, Lebanon

The Aircraft

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=927r7wHOef4  (video about Caudron G.3’s)

The Caudron G.3 was a French reconnaissance aircraft widely used during World War I. Poidebard flew the Caudron G.3 biplane for his aerial archaeological surveys in the 1920s and 1930s. The Caudron G.3 was a French reconnaissance aircraft widely used during World War I. He learned to fly during the war and then created a way to utilize the aircraft for aerial surveys of archaeological sites in Syria and parts of the Middle East, capturing valuable photographs of historical sites and landscapes from the air. His pioneering work in this area significantly contributed to the understanding of ancient civilizations in the region.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kr4e23CarYY (more videos about this aircraft.)

Aerial photographs of abandoned Roman forts in the Middle East.
Fr. Poidebard examing shards in the desert.

Bring back the WPA projects for the Homeless.

15 Sunday Oct 2023

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In the days of increasing and increasing homelessness, most are lost for a clue as to what to do. Why not bring back the WPA projects as were done in the 30’s. In our area, numerous hiking trails into the hills were paved by the WPA who also built bridges and many stone walls. They stand as good as ever to this day. An idea.

Arizona needs to wake up and smell the Petrol.

02 Monday Oct 2023

Posted by webbywriter1 in Jobs and the workplace, money, Uncategorized

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Tags

transportation

Let me say, at this writing, gasoline is up to $4.25 a gallon and I know, yes I know, many of you are in places where the prices are two and three dollars above that.

That said, Tucson and most of Arizona is very car dependent due to the fact that everything is so spread out. It is pretty impossible to exist here, in any comfort, without a car. Recently, my car has been in the shop three times for a repeated number of repairs. At $1200 for repairs and over $200 in Lyft/Uber rides, we’ll see if three times is the charm.

The bus system: the bus system here runs every 30 minutes on weekdays (when they aren’t late) and every hour on weekends. Most services stop around 7ish, so if you have some evening event to attend, you are out of luck. The system has good apps for your phone. However, if you don’t have a phone, if your phone is out of charge, if you don’t know/can’t find the app, you are out of luck. The bus stops all have metal signs with the route number. There are no bus schedules with the times, no maps with the routes, their starting/stopping points and no information about when they stop running. Inside of the bus, a digital screen displays a stop when a customer pulls the stop cord. Again, there are no bus schedules, no times, no maps, no starting/stopping points, etc. As a result of this, bus drivers are continuely beleagered by passengers asking a thousand questions. This is stressful to them because 1) they have to answer the same questions over and over and b) they are on a tight schedule and are not supposed to be late to their next stop.

Lyft/Uber: since I have taken so many rides this month, I have spent time tracking the costs. During the day, approximately before 4-5 pm, the cost, per mile, can be as low at $1.78 per mile. As the day progresses, the cost can then jump to $3.00+ per mile. The evenings are the real killers; rides to entertainment events in the evenings for the basic same distance can be a whopping $30 each way! Boy, am I in the wrong business!

A lot of this, of course, is pushed by the rising and fluctuating prices of gas. If the city had decent and dependable public transportation, then all of us would not have to be stuck in the giant maw which is the automotive/petrol complex. Like flys stuck in a sticky webb, we can never break free. Again, time to wake up and smell the petrol!!!!!!

Wellness exams or Disqualifying exams?

01 Friday Sep 2023

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As a medical insured with United Health, I have been very happy with my coverage for the last year. Basically, I have had no problems with them and I love the coverage with multiple gyms for workouts.

After about one year, I have received repeat phone calls from the company requesting time for a ‘wellness exam.” At first I told them I already had a regular doctor and got this exam from her each year. Not to be deterred, the phone calls kept coming and coming. Finally, I agreed to have a nurse come to my place for a wellness exam.

The date of the exam, I made sure to be there on time and have cold water in the fridge in case someone needed some. The nurse showed up with a sidekick, another nurse in training. The exam took an hour and included my weight, bloodpressure and heart. In addition, was a cognitive test for my memory. All of these items were stock in trade and usual for all exams I get at the clinic. The disturbing part came with the long, long list of deep and probing questions about my entire health history to include information about mother, father, brothers and sisters. I answered the questions. The question went on about drugs and alcohol for myself and all family members. I had to answer questions about all surgeries and injuries that I had had in the last year. I discussed two recent surgeries that were for arthritis. The nurse got practically excited when I admitted to smoking cigarettes 30 years ago. She wanted me to tell her how many cigarettes I smoked per day. I laughed at this point and said I couldn’t remember that far back but it was only ‘occasional, social smoking.’ More questions followed, I had my temperature taken and got measured for height and my BMI was calculated. I had to have a pressure test to the bottoms of my feet to check for nerve damage. The digging kept on about depression, mental illness, treatment for psychological problems. The nurse was very nervous when she showed up.

After giving her negative answers to most of these questions and we found that my BMI was low enought, blood pressure low enough and heart ok, the nurse seemed to relax. By the time the pair left I realized that I had been subjected not to a wellness exam, it was a disqualifing exam. This was an intensive investigation to see if the company had a basis for cancelling my coverage. I was shocked when it all sank in. I await the results of my exam. Hopefully I passed. However, next year, my response will be that they can get copies of my records from my GP. What an invasive and demeaning experience. And, how many people have to go through this.? God forbid I had anything serious wrong with me, short of age, of course. Wow! I can’t talk to family members about this as they are all military and have life long coverage. Review the next.

https://apnews.com/press-release/globe-newswire/business-health-7ac8e3da7f47c4064e7c49d28b82db4c

U.S. Federal Court Finds UnitedHealthcare Affiliate Illegally Denied Mental Health and Substance Use Coverage in Nationwide Class Action

BY INC., PSYCH-APPEALPublished 10:47 AM MST, March 5, 2019Share

— Landmark Case Challenges the Nation’s Largest Mental Health Insurance Company for Unlawful, Systematic Claims Denials – and Wins — Groundbreaking Ruling Affects Certified Classes of Tens of Thousands of Patients, Including Thousands of Children and Teenagers — Judge Rules, “At every level of care that is at issue in this case, there is an excessive emphasis on addressing acute symptoms and stabilizing crises while ignoring the effective treatment of members’ underlying conditions.”

LOS ANGELES, March 05, 2019 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) — In a landmark mental health ruling, a federal court held today that health insurance giant United Behavioral Health (UBH), which serves over 60 million members and is owned by UnitedHealth Group, used flawed internal guidelines to unlawfully deny mental health and substance use treatment for its insureds across the United States. The historic class action was filed by Psych-Appeal, Inc. and Zuckerman Spaeder LLP, and litigated in the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of California.

The federal court found that, to promote its own bottom line, UBH denied claims based on internally developed medical necessity criteria that were far more restrictive than generally accepted standards for behavioral health care. Specifically, the court found that UBH’s criteria were skewed to cover “acute” treatment, which is short-term or crisis-focused, and disregarded chronic or complex mental health conditions that often require ongoing care.

The court was particularly troubled by UBH’s lack of coverage criteria for children and adolescents, estimated to number in the thousands in the certified classes.

“For far too long, patients and their families have been stretched to the breaking point, both financially and emotionally, as they battle with insurers for the mental health coverage promised by their health plans,” said Meiram Bendat of Psych-Appeal, Inc. and co-counsel for the plaintiffs who uncovered the guideline flaws. “Now a court has ruled that denying coverage based on defective medical necessity criteria is illegal.”

In its decision, the court also held that UBH misled regulators about its guidelines being consistent with the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) criteria, which insurers must use in Connecticut, Illinois and Rhode Island. Additionally, the court found that UBH failed to apply Texas-mandated substance use criteria for at least a portion of the class period.

While the Paul Wellstone and Pete Domenici Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act of 2008 requires parity for mental health and substance use benefits, insurers are permitted to evaluate claims for medical necessity. However, by using flawed medical necessity criteria, insurers can circumvent parity in favor of financial considerations and prevent patients from receiving the type and amount of care they actually require.

In his decision, Chief Magistrate Judge Joseph Spero concluded that “the record is replete with evidence that UBH’s Guidelines were viewed as an important tool for meeting utilization management targets, ‘mitigating’ the impact of the 2008 Parity Act, and keeping ‘benex’ [benefit expense] down.”

Psych-Appeal, Inc. and Zuckerman Spaeder LLP were appointed class counsel by the federal court and represent plaintiffs in several class actions against other insurers.

For more information, visit www.psych-appeal.com.

Contact: Chantal Allan (310) 598-3690 x.201|callan@psych-appeal.com

How Men can save Relationships by learning to communicate and by being open

27 Sunday Aug 2023

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https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2022/08/02/masculinity-men-emotions/

How men can save relationships by learning to be vulnerable

Perspective by Andrew Reiner

August 2, 2022 at 9:00 a.m. EDT

(Isabel Espanol/Illustration for The Washington Post)

When Nick Firchau and his wife were dating, he trekked from his Brooklyn apartment into Manhattan to buy fresh scallops to make her dinner. This was a big deal for Firchau, now 43, who rarely cooked and wanted to impress his girlfriend. According to him, she grew vocally upset because he neglected to cook a vegetable, too. “I couldn’t believe she didn’t appreciate all the effort I went to,” he told me.

He never said anything to her, though. Instead, he fumed for days — a dynamic that continued for years into their marriage. When conflict arose, and he felt hurt, Firchau let those feelings “marinate,” which led to pent-up “anger and resentment, because the air hadn’t been cleared the first time.”

Neglecting to examine and tend to emotional needs is common to many men, it turns out. For a number of reasons — many rooted in socialized norms about masculinity — men are often taught very young to diminish, or even ignore, their emotions in relationships. They do this, however, at the expense of their relationships’ health and their own well-being. When men learn to better understand their emotional needs, the payoff can be profound.

The common myth about men and emotions goes something like this: Men are wired differently than women, and, as a result, they don’t have the same emotional needs. But Israeli researchers who pored over scans of more than 1,400 brains discovered that human brain structures and features are a “mosaic,” resistant to easy binary expectations about gender or sex. Another study published last year in Nature reported that men’s and women’s emotions are, as one of the researchers put it, “clearly, consistently and unmistakably more similar than they are different.”

Instead, psychologists say these perceived differences often arise from social constructs, which starts early. “We don’t train boys to have vocabulary around their emotions beyond anger,” said Fredric Rabinowitz, chair of the psychology department at the University of Redlands in California, whose research and private practice focus on men’s mental health. This occurs, Rabinowitz said, because many boys are raised to believe that deeper emotions are separate to their being, which morphs into “unprocessed trauma.” And when men lack emotional language, they cannot explain what they are feeling.

Firchau can identify with this. Until 2018, the podcast producer and host of the “Paternal” podcast “didn’t think about my emotions in general,” he said. (I have appeared as a guest on his show.) That year, he lost his job, the stress became overwhelming, and he felt as if his identity was under siege.

“I always believed guys are supposed to have everything figured out, for ourselves and our families,” Firchau said. He worried that he couldn’t handle everything with “stoicism, confidence and emotional toughness,” which scared him, because he feared that betraying vulnerability “would make me unattractive to my wife. I was afraid I would lose her if I shared what was unraveling me.”

Like so many men who feel beleaguered, he could not express these negative emotions and, he said, became overwhelmed with stress.

Another self-inflicted barrier that prevents men from meeting their own emotional needs occurs when they check out of relational conflicts, or “stonewall.” This occurs when someone feels overwhelmed by their emotions during interpersonal conflict and then physically or emotionally disconnects, such as by walking away, changing the subject or reaching for other diversionary behaviors. Many people who practice stonewalling consider it a peacekeeping tactic, but it merely buries problems that need resolving.

Even if they no longer believe that repressing or suppressing deeper emotions makes them “stronger,” many men believe, or at least hope, that it comes without consequences. They’re wrong. Research shows, for instance, that holding in negative emotions worsens mental health, heightening symptoms of anxiety and depression, and kick-starts physiological responses linked over time to cognitive decline and cardiovascular disease.

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Men aren’t the only ones who contribute to masculine stereotypes about vulnerability. Psychologist Paulette Kouffman Sherman said in an email that, despite the well-documented request for male partners to be more emotionally available, some women “don’t find it attractive.” They perceive a man’s vulnerability as “weakness, neediness,” as less masculine, a threat to traits they value in fathers who were the family “rock”: “strong, silent, fixer” types, she said.

Bill Johnson, a psychologist in suburban Chicago, said that his mostly Black clientele, a third of whom are part of the LGBTQ community, experience similar pushback from their partners. “Many men don’t feel they have an audience to talk about deeper pain and hurt in their romantic relationships. It’s difficult to have people in their lives who will do that for them. This is true for both straight and gay men.”

But there’s no question about vulnerability’s role in successful relationships. Therapists know that opening up to partners and spouses, and to potential rejection, builds and deepens trust, empathy and intimacy.

Since Firchau took the step of working with a therapist, walls have come down in his relationship. “My therapist helped me develop the language to talk about my deeper feelings and helped me validate them. And he helped me realize that they weren’t anything to feel ashamed of, that they were normal.”

Emboldened, Firchau approached his wife with his newfound literacy and confessed the truth: He had been afraid that she would regard his true feelings as weakness. He was wrong. “She told me, ‘What’s unattractive is that you were unwilling to face the problem at all.’ ”

This language, Firchau said, has broken down unproductive barriers — and created healthy ones.

“Whenever my wife and I have a heated conversation about kids or money, I know now that rather than engage in a heated argument, I need time to step away and think for myself on how to articulate what I’m feeling.” He now creates some needed space for himself and, a day or so later, shares with his wife why he felt hurt or upset. “But we hold each other accountable. And after that day has passed, we have that follow-up conversation.”

Andrew Reiner teaches at Towson University and is the author of “Better Boys, Better Men: The New Masculinity That Creates Greater Courage and Emotional Resiliency.”

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Why do Men Push Women Away?

24 Thursday Aug 2023

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https://healthyrelationshiptips.org/why-do-men-push-away-women-they-love/#google_vignette (Empress Ari – Internet 23).

Why do men push women away?

The reason why men push away the love of women they love is that they didn’t think the process all the way through. Most men think about now and that’s it. When you can feel in your gut that a man is pushing you away, you are usually right. It’s your woman’s intuition. It makes women wonder why doesn’t he want me?

Reasons men push women away

1. He believes it’s too good to be true. He just can’t believe he can be happy with the woman of his dreams. He doesn’t believe it could happen to him.

2. She is being too clingy to him. She never leaves him alone. He’s not used to that much communication with a lover.

3. He is realizing how much he misses being single. He doesn’t want to commit. He has a “commitment phobia”. This is a man who likes to do whatever he wants to do.

4. He is too selfish. He realizes it will cost him time and money to continue on with her. It’s all about him in his life and that’s how he likes it.

5. He doesn’t see a future with her. He can’t see himself being with her forever but he didn’t know that immediately. He only started feeling this way lately.

6. He felt pressured into the relationship. It’s not necessarily that she gave give an ultimatum to be in a relationship. It could be that he is not ready but he feels that he owes her that. Women want men to do things when they want them to. That’s just not the way men work.

7. He has too much on his plate. Living a busy lifestyle has him feeling like he won’t be able to devote as much time into the relationship that’s needed to keep a healthy relationship.

8. He has been hurt in the past by someone else. He thinks every female is out to hurt him. He guards his heart like its a newborn baby.

9. He feels like he is in competition with her. She may be more “accomplished in life” which plays with his manhood. Men are generally the providers or at least the breadwinner.

When he meets a woman with more than he has to offer, he gets intimidated by the situation. He feels almost like he is not good enough for her.

10. He has a fear of love. He is genuinely terrified of his own feelings. He has never felt like this about someone before. He doesn’t know how to handle the feelings he has inside for her. These feelings are almost overwhelming to him.

11. He doesn’t fully love himself. It’s hard for someone to fully love someone else when they don’t love the man in the mirror. He is insecure and has to fix this by himself. He feels inadequate in showing and expressing his love for her. He is unable to connect with her emotionally.

12. He is not as into her as she is into him. He just doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. He is slowly contacting and responding to her contacting him less and less in hopes of just easing out of the situation. He doesn’t want to be a man and say what’s on his mind and heart. He just hopes she gets the hint by showing less or no more interest.

13. He can smell a challenge. Some men will pull away when they think another man may be involved in the equation. They don’t like to compete. Men are very territorial.

14. She is such a good woman that he is scared he will mess things up. He doesn’t want to hurt her. He knows he has never been in a serious relationship that lasted very long.

What to do when a man pulls back

1. Work on yourself. Remember who you are as well as your worth.

2. Have a conversation with him. Ask him what his issues are. Let him know that you are there for him. Do not pressure him in any way. You need to know what’s going on. You have a right to some answers.

3. Give him what you think is a reasonable amount of time. People go through things. Be a little patient. However, you are not a toy to play with.

You still need to put a time frame on the situation. Do not allow him to come in and out of your life if he is confused or still pushing you away. No one should be allowed to reserve you emotionally and not act on it.

4. Keep yourself busy and your mind off him. What do you like to do? Enjoy your hobbies. Spend more time with your family and friends.

5. Pull back too. Give him time and space to figure things out. Stop contacting him. Just act nonchalantly about the situation. Make him miss you again.

He needs to reappreciate your presence to make him remember and realize what he will potentially be missing out on. When he “snaps out of it”, he will come around.

6. Leave him alone and move on with your life. This may be easier said than done but you deserve to be happy. No need to keep lingering around someone who is confused about what he wants to do with you. You should never put your life on hold for someone unsure.

Life is too short. Don’t keep pressing him about this issue. You will make him feel like you are desperate.

7. A man pulling away is like a scared animal. He might be emotionally immature. You must be positive, calm, constant, and reassuring you can help him change those feelings.

You will see that he slowly will trust what you are saying and doing. Make a safe environment for him to perceive forward. He will slowly move forward if he is the right man for you.

As you can see there are many reasons why men push away women they love. Watch his actions around you. In dating and even in relationships, A guy would rather pretend that he doesn’t like you while silently suffering inside because he does like or even loves you very much. Sending you mixed signals is not fair in the love game.

The worst thing you can do is blame yourself. This has everything to do with him, not you. You can control a man that has unstable emotions. You didn’t do anything wrong and there is nothing wrong with you. His ego could be in the way of his heart right now.

Valuing yourself and scarcity is very important. He knows that you are a great woman, he knows someone will love you if he doesn’t. Hopefully, you know and understand this too.

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Should I give money to Panhandlers?

18 Friday Aug 2023

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Should you give money to a panhandler? Central Louisiana Homeless Coalition says no

Jeff Matthews

The Town Talk

https://imasdk.googleapis.com/js/core/bridge3.585.0_en.html#goog_1019592331

You’ve probably seen someone standing on a corner at one of Alexandria’s busiest intersections, probably holding a sign detailing the desperate circumstances they’re in and asking for help.

Maybe, motivated by a charitable instinct, you handed them a couple of dollars or some change through your car window.

You think you’re doing good, but you may actually be contributing to deeper problems, says the head of the Central Louisiana Homeless Coalition.

“Please, please, please — do not give to panhandlers,” said CLHC Executive Director Joseph Buzzetta. “Our community does want to help out individuals who are homeless. I understand the public’s desire to help. Homelessness speaks to something in our souls. But giving money to these individuals is not the way to deal with homelessness.”

PREVIOUSLY:Increase in panhandlers leads to discussion on Alexandria homeless

Why is giving money to someone panhandling bad?

Regardless of sign, they may not be homeless

“Honestly, a lot of these people flying signs are not homeless,” Buzzetta said.

Tiffany Crooks, housing program director with Volunteers of America, said she’s known some individuals who have made as much as $500 in one day of panhandling.

“We always tell people, don’t ever give money,” Crooks said. “Because you’re reinforcing the panhandling behavior. If you feel like you need to give something, give tangible items — a granola bar, a bottle of water, I’ve even seen people give gift cards to McDonald’s. If they’re not willing to take that from you, nine times out of 10 they don’t really need help. They’re just out there trying to make a quick buck.”

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You've probably seen people asking for money at busy intersections around the Alexandria area. Maybe you have even given them some out of a charitable instinct. But local stakeholders trying curb homelessness say such giving can actually hurt efforts to get people off the streets.

Your money may be putting them at risk

Many people on the streets are there, at least in part, because of serious substance abuse issues. And one of the worst things you can do to someone who has a drug problem is make it easier for them to get drugs.

“I have seen people give money to people who are active substance abusers,” Buzzetta said. “Not just using baseline street drugs, they’re using hard, hard drugs. Especially with all the fentanyl out there, all the opioids out there. They’re trying to survive so they do self-medicate, they do seek out these substances that make life easier for them, and it is just so, so dangerous.”

RELATED:Resource Center opens with goal: ‘End homelessness’

Buzzetta said “panhandling is one of the most dangerous activities a homeless person can engage in,” and not just because the money might go to feeding their drug habit.

Information passes a lot more effectively among the homeless community than people think, he said. When someone is known to have made a decent amount of money panhandling, that could make them a target for attackers looking to rob them.

Homeless people are particularly vulnerable to such attacks because they spend nights in out-of-the-way areas with no walls or doors to protect them, and are less likely to report crimes against them to law enforcement.

Panhandling could keep them from seeking needed treatment

“The challenge we’re seeing is some of our clients who we engage with on a regular basis will stop coming to us for our services and instead go panhandle, because it is good money,” Buzzetta said. “A lot of homeless people are in survival mode. For them, it’s a calculation. Do I come and meet with case manager get signed up for disability, try to get signed up on these waiting lists, or do I go make a cool $60 or $70 or $80? Whenever that’s the calculus that the community is encouraging, I understand why our clients are going for that.”

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The danger with that is many homeless people have serious mental health, physical health or substance abuse issues, sometimes all three.

MORE:Woman ready to give back after journey through drugs, homelessness

If they can make it panhandling, it keeps them on the streets, and keeps them from seeking help.

“The longer these individuals stay on the streets, the worse their mental health conditions get, the worse their physical health conditions get, the worse their substance abuse issues get,” Buzzetta said.

Eventually, the danger is they don’t receive treatment for so long that their problems, which may have been addressable, become too severe.

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It may keep them out of stable housing

In addition to using it for drugs or other destructive behavior, Crooks said, she’s seen homeless people using money they got panhandling to buy themselves a night in a hotel room.

While that buys them shelter for a night,” the next day they’re right back in the same situation,” she said. 

“Until these issues are addressed, these people are not going to make it into housing stability,” Buzzetta said. “And that’s what we’re here for. We want these people stably housed and thriving in this community. When that happens, our entire city benefits.”

RELATED:Opelousas minister seeks housing solution for female homeless

Many homeless people have experienced significant trauma, Buzzetta said. Dealing with that trauma for an extended period fosters a mindset that they can only value what gets them through another day.

“Panhandling encourages that mindset, encourages that behavior and stops them from coming to us so we can work on moving them from that present-day orientation to more of a future-based orientation so they can move forward in their mental and physical health goals,” he said.

The average cost per day, per client is about $30 for CLHC, Buzzetta said. For that, the agency has about an 80 percent retention rate.

That means eight out of 10 times, once a client sees what a better life looks like, they’re willing to accept the challenge of staying off the streets.

But to get that glimpse of a better life, they have to engage in services that move them on the path toward stable housing. And as long as they’re making money panhandling, they’re less likely to do that.

“The bitter irony is every dollar you give individuals on the street could go to a housing agency and we could use that to develop more housing and get these people off the streets,” Buzzetta said.

Homelessness news from USA Today Network

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