Tag Archives: young-adult

Love is Often Not Enough

03 Monday Feb 2025

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Love is Often Not Enough – The Grantchester Series

I love the PBS series, Grantchester. It has been on for nine seasons and apparently, a lot of other people like it too. What’s not to like? Sidney Chambers, the Anglican priest of a small English town after the end of World War II. He is back from the war and is ready to tend his flock!

Sidney Chambers (James Norton) is tall, good looking, humble, sincere, intelligent and….savvy and intuitive enough to figure out who done it! His side-kick, the ever detective Geordie Keating (Robson Green) sometimes leads and sometimes follows his vicar as they investigate one murder after another. Between Sidney and Geordie, they usually catch their man (or woman) as the episode wraps up.

Sidney who is single, (and the most eligible bachelor in the county), is a contrast to Geordie; a married man with uncounted numbers of children running around. Geordie and vicarage housekeeper keep busy filling Sidney’s head with tid bits of country lore and folk wisdom. Much of it concerns romance.

Sidney’s long time ‘friend’ Amanda Kendall (Morven Chrisite,) is someone from his highschool. Whenever chums get together, the girls never stop ogling over Sidney. Amanda and Sidney spend long afternoons in the country and it is obvious how much they care for each other.

However, regardless of how many of their mutual friends are off tying the knot and how many asides and innuedios Amanda throws his way, Sidney never seems to be able to take things to the next level. There are several espisdoes when Amanda gets engaged, and is then marching to the alter, where we keep hoping against hope that the vicar will break his silence and tell the girl that he loves, how much he loves her.

But, nope, it is not to be and Amanda gets married and becomes Mrs. Hopkins. Finally, the truth comes out between Sidney and Geordie when the vicar admits “I just wasn’t in her league.” He is referring of course to the fact that Amanda comes from money and her father is Sir Kendell and they live in an exceptionally large house.

Clearly, Sidney cannot get over the economic distance between the two of them and is frozen in silence, never to confess his true feelings.

How often, in our lives, have we talked ourselves out of something with one rational after another? In the series, one of the characters remarked, “Because we are all a pack of cowards.” How true.

In my life, I have asked myself over and over again, why is it that the guy I really have my heart set on, can’t either talk to me or even ask me out for a cup of coffee. Like Sidney, men (and women) can be full of self doubt and lack feelings of worthiness. They talk themselves out of the first step in courtship “because” until such time as the other loses interest and the fire grow cold.

Self-doubt, recriminations, lack of self-worth, guilt, fear of what other people will say, fear of failure, of getting ‘hurt again’; these are all reasons people back away from relationships and even the promise of love. Both being in love and loving someone else. We let the little ‘nigglies’ invade our thoughts, poison them and deprive us of the full life we can have and do deserve. Then, instead of dealing with the fears, we act out in childish, immature and socially inappropriate ways; having affairs with married people, isolation, drinking too much, smoking too much, feeding any number of addictions, all in an effort to hide. Hide from ourselves.

cew

Devine Tragedy – Conclusion

24 Saturday Feb 2024

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The next day was Friday. Winter prom was one week away. Chloe approached her friend Becca.

“Becca, what do you say if we went ahead and went to the prom?”

“We don’t have dates,” Becca’s replied blankly.

“Yeah, well neither do a lot of the girls. Why don’t we bunch up and all go, together? It might be fun.”

“Well,” Becca wrinkled her brow in thought. “You know, why should the Jennifers in the world have all the fun? Let’s do it!”

Becca was the official social networker of their group. Chloe let her work her magic. Soon, there was a group of about ten loser girls with no dates who were willing to go stag. Becca was bubbling. Chloe could relax and focus on getting a dress and having her hair done. Her mother was surprised but not against the idea and started calling around hair shops.

“And,” said Chloe archly to Becca, “we’ll just go to that damn, dumb party at Jennifer’s house and say the Hell with all of them!”

“You’re brave, Chloe. I don’t know …”

“Don’t be a weenie, Becca. If we do it, we do it all the way.”

“Okay,” Becca replied, reluctance in her voice.

The big day arrived. Chloe had borrowed a cute satin cocktail dress from a friend. It was a jade green color, almost emerald and went well with her skin tone. She and mom had gone shopping for heels. She got a pair of killer black patent leathers with gold bands. Her hair was done up and the stylist managed to get every single curl in place. Mom arranged some little rhinestone pins throughout the do. Chloe looked at herself in the mirror. The stones twinkled back at her. Wow! She was looking good!

Her mom was crying, her dad was taking pictures; her little brother was lurking around the corners when Becca’s dad drove up and honked. Girls were piled in the SUV, giggling and laughing hysterically the whole way.

They had gotten permission to go to the after party as long as they were home by midnight. Two girls had their own cars and followed them.

The prom was set up in the school gym. The place had been transformed into a fairyland with lights, fake snow. Big, huge silver snowflakes hung on the curtains. Little round café tables were around the edges and candles flickered in the middle. Bowls of potpourri lent a scent of apples and pumpkin to the air.

“Do you see him?” Becca whispered.

“Who?”

“Oh, come on, Chloe. Oh, look, I think they are over there.” Becca held her finger low and pointed across the room.

Indeed, a stiff and uncomfortable looking Greg was sitting in a tux with both hands holding his knees. He looked a lot like he wanted to be somewhere else. Jennifer was in a froth of pink tulle with silver stars everywhere and was gabbing busily with friends clustered in tables around her. Kiki was close by in a low cut, tight fitting deep purple gown. Her hair was sparkling with gold shimmer, and she looked bored. Chloe watched her bend over and speak to a young man at her table. The two got up as one and disappeared.

“Oh, forget them, Chlo, let’s dance!” Becca and the girls commandeered some tables and were soon out on the dance floor giving it everything they’d got. Curiously enough, some of the guys from their class started to show up and several of the girls were then dancing with guys and not just girlfriends.

Winded, Chloe grabbed some punch and sat down to breathe. The disc jockey was playing a slow song. Unchained Melody, an oldie.

“Dance, Chloe?” she heard a masculine voice in her ear. She turned and it was Greg.

“Where’s Jenn?” she asked, incredulous.

“Oh, she went outside with some of her friends. Thought I would take a chance.” He smiled down at her.

Her stomach clutching, Chloe got up and he led her to the floor. She put her arms up, he took them, and they started a slow waltz.

“Reminds me of dance class, a long time ago,” he said.

“Yes, a long time ago.” Eventually, Chloe got closer and almost leaned her head against Greg’s shoulder. We feel so right together, the thought passed through her mind.

The music ended, Greg gave her the slightest bow and went back to his table. Chloe sank into her chair and stared at the dancers on the floor. Finally, a faint smile crept onto her face.

Becca came back and sat. “Wow, you look happy.”

“I am,” replied Chloe, “and we are definitely going to that after-party.”

“If you say so, chief.” Becca fanned herself.

At about eleven o’clock, Becca made the call, her dad appeared in front of the gym fifteen minutes later, and they piled in.

“Where are the other girls?” he asked.

“Oh, some got other rides, some went home. You know,” Becca tossed out casually.

“Okay,” her dad replied. “What’s the address?” Becca pulled the address out of her purse and her dad programmed it into his GPS pad. “Ah, the posh side of town.”

Becca shrugged, “I guess.”

Chloe had met Mr. Thompson any number of times. A short, buff but nice guy, he had a low forehead, dark eyes, black eyebrows that nearly met in the front and thick, dark hair cut almost into a burr. She had to admit to herself, although she didn’t want to, how much Becca resembled her dad.

Following the dulcet tones of the GPS voice, they arrived in the north side of town not long after. The SUV glided to a stop in front of a large, two-story house with immaculate lawn and flowerbeds; lights blazing from every window.

“What do her parents do again?” Mr. Thompson asked craning his neck toward the home.

“Oh, ah, I think her mom sells real-estate and her dad works at a bank downtown,” Becca chirped.

A white coupe with a black rag top was parked in the drive. The license plate read ‘Klassy.’ A  Cadillac SUV was parked next to it.

“Hmm,” was his reply “must be doing darn well.” He leaned back over the seat, “Give me a call when you’re done Becca, and don’t be concerned about the time, ‘kay?”

“Look there’s her mom now,” Chloe added. A blonde woman with a dazzling smile, much like her daughter’s, was standing in the front doorway waving.

“See, Dad, told you her parents would be home.”

“Okay, then.” Her father seemed placated. “You two git.”

The two girls emerged from the vehicle and walked up the broad driveway to the door.

Jennifer’s mom was a trim 40+ something with beautiful hair, teeth and ensemble. “You’re some of Jennifer’s friends. Come in, come in!” She welcomed and waved again at Mr. Thompson. He waved back and the SUV glided off. The two went into the brightly lit room and saw a number of adults standing around having drinks. Chloe was thrown for a minute.

“Alright, girls. We are having our little soiree up here, but the kid’s party is downstairs in the basement.” She walked toward some stairs and pointed down with a big smile.

Chloe and Becca both smiled uncertainly and moved down the stairs toward the very loud music. When they got there, they were greeted with banging music, a flashing music ball hanging from the ceiling and a ton of teens. Some, Chloe knew and some she had never met before. They walked around a bit and headed for the food table.

Chloe picked up a small paper plate and was putting little sandwiches on it when she heard “Chloe, Becca! You made it!”

Next thing she knew, Jennifer was spinning her around and gave her a big hug. Chloe held the plate up hoping to not spill anything, her other hand clutching her small bag.

“So, good of you to come!” Jennifer was effusive and her eyes wide and bright. “I have to get you something to drink. Would you like punch?” She had to yell over the music.

“Sure, sure,” Chloe replied, “punch, great.”

“Okay, then. Wait here.”

Becca followed Jenn’s movements a moment and then looked at Chloe.

“Is she …?”

“High?” Chloe replied, “Totally.”

“Geese, I wondered what those guys were doing leaving the prom and going out the back door,” Becca stated.

“Well, so now we know, huh. We can just stay a little while, Becca. I didn’t think it was going to be like this, so loud and so …”

“Yeah, so everything,” her friend replied.

Jennifer returned bearing two red cold cups brimming with liquid. She handed them over. “Drink up! I got to go and find that Greg again. He keeps disappearing.” She flashed another fabulous smile and wove her way through the throng of dancing bodies.

Becca took a sip of her drink and almost spit it out. “What the hell?”

Chloe tasted hers. “Ah, this tropical punch has a real punch. Wow! What did they put in this stuff?”

“Do you think her parents know?” Becca asked and sipped some more punch.

“How could they not, they’re right upstairs?” Chloe answered looking around for something else to drink. There didn’t appear to be cokes out that she could see.

“Let’s just eat something, make the rounds and call your dad.”

“Okay,” Becca replied. “I hate to have him drive all the way back when he just dropped us off.”

“He told you not to worry about it.”

Becca sighed and popped a small sandwich in her mouth.

They made the rounds, both sipping the punch and noshing. It was after the second turn around that Chloe realized with a pang of discomfort that she didn’t know most of these people. They were teens but some seemed a lot older and almost all of them were either very high, very drunk or both. They passed Kiki in one corner, busy snogging another individual. Chloe couldn’t tell if it was a male or female.

Greg was nowhere to be seen. Chloe was about to tell Becca to call her dad when there was some shouting and a bunch of people started to run up the stairs. “He’s going to jump!” she heard.

Curiosity got the better of her and she followed the crowd up. A bunch of people were clustered at a side window, looking up. There was an outside patio above their heads, on the second floor. Jenn’s home was close to that of their next-door neighbor. Chloe saw to her horror, the neighbor had a pool and apparently, one of the young men from the party was on the patio and was going to dive into the neighbor’s pool. There was a momentary hush, then, a figure flew past. There was a loud Splash! Everyone cheered. Luckily, the kid landed in the pool. Almost immediately, the back door light at the neighbor’s house came on and Chloe could hear a man come out and scream at the kid in the pool. The wife came out in her slippers, a hand-held phone to her ear, talking.

Chloe and Becca pulled away from the window. They were both laughing and saying, “Can you believe it?” Becca was trying to call her dad but between the noise and the being jostled by others, she was having a difficult time.

Suddenly, there were loud sirens coming right down the street toward them.

I wonder if they are going to arrest that guy? Chloe thought to herself.

There was some loud banging on the front door; Jenn’s mother answered it to what looked like a phalanx of cops.

Very much to Chloe’s surprise, she got arrested for being an underage minor consuming alcohol. Also, a number of other people at the party got arrested to include Becca, Greg, Jennifer and Jennifer’s parents.

Two hours later, they were sitting in the hallway at the police station. They had had to give breath-a-lizer samples to the cops.

It was a grim-faced Mr. and Mrs. Thompson who both came to pick-up a sobbing Becca. “I didn’t know, Dad,” she kept saying over and over, as they led her out the door.

Chloe called her parents, and they were on their way to pick her up. Greg eased down into the plastic chair next to hers.

“Some mess, huh?” he asked without looking at her.

“I’ll say,” Chloe, replied, she was still clutching the little pearl evening bag.  “By the way, where were you that whole time that guy was jumping into the pool?” She turned and looked at him. She had picked up a water at the front desk. She played with the cap, opening it an closing it nervously.

“I was on the balcony trying to talk him out of jumping. I kept telling him he could fall short and kill himself. But no, he’s on the school dive team. Said he knew he could make it.”

“Well, he did,” she answered.

“Yeah, he did and now he’ll probably be off the team after a stunt like this.” He leaned forward, resting his big arms on his knees.

“And you?” she asked.

“Well for starters, my dad already told me when I called him, to kiss the car goodbye.”

“Oh, wow,” Chloe stared at him.

“That’s for starters; then this arrest could cost me the water polo scholarship I was almost sure to get. My dad may have to have one of the attorneys at the firm bail me out of this thing.” He stared morosely at the floor.

“Oh, sorry.” Chloe also stared down at the floor. There was a pause. “Greg, did you know there was going to be alcohol at the party?” She glanced over at him.

“Oh, sure. Jenn’s parents have these kinds of parties all the time. Their philosophy is they want their kids drinking at home and not off somewhere else. Why do you think the cops showed up so fast? That neighbor of theirs has just about had it with them and had complained before.”

“Oh, well. That explains a lot of things, I guess.” Chloe leaned her arms against her legs too. They were both quiet for a time.

“And you know the crazy thing?” Greg turned and looked at Chloe.

“What?”

“I don’t even like Jenn that much. She is all about Jenn and her friends, all the time. I doubt she even knows who I am.”

“So, why go out with her?”

“Well, she is cute …” he said carefully, glancing at Chloe, “popular.”

“Hmm.” More silence.

“And her parents do have a killer house.”

“Ah.”

“But, clearly,” he stretched his long arms up and out, “that isn’t everything.” He waved around the station and let out a short laugh. He leaned one hand on the back of her chair.

She nodded still looking at the floor.

“Chloe, I know this is an odd time and maybe the wrong time, but …”

“Yes?” She lifted her head and turned to look at him.

“Would you like to go to a movie or something, coffee?”

Chloe smiled at him. “I really think, Greg Dudenhoeffer, that a movie with the likes of you is going to be a definite No in my household for a while. But coffee? That’s probably doable. She smiled again, and this time she really smiled. He smiled back.

“So, coffee?”

“Starbucks.”

“What day?”

“Wednesday is good.”

“After school?”

“Yes, after school.”

Greg let out a sigh. “Well, you’ll know me as the very tall guy on the bicycle.”

“I think I can hold onto that visual image.” She smirked. He smirked.

Greg was reaching over like he would give her a hug when her father showed up with a face like thunder.

“Greg, Greg Dudenhoeffer? You too? Jesus. What next? Come on Chloe, time to go home.”

Chloe got up to follow her dad. She turned at the last minute before they went out the door to give Greg a little wave. He waved back.

Yes, she thought to herself, this is really going to be my year!

Her mom was waiting in the car and Chloe let herself in the backseat. Her mom started firing questions at her, but her dad put up a stopping hand.

“Phyllis, enough time for that tomorrow. Let’s just get the kid home.”

The kid sat in the back seat wrapped in a warm, fuzzy glow.

The end.

Devine Tragedy – Part III

24 Saturday Feb 2024

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“What are we going to do?” Becca asked her friend Chloe. Desperation in her voice.

“We are going to do absolutely nothing and act like nothing whatever has happened.” Chloe left off looking for the pen and slammed the locker door roughly. Becca jumped. “Just like nothing happened.” Chloe stuck her chin in the air. “We need to get to class.”

“Okay,” Becca gulped and turned to follow her friend down the hall.

That afternoon, Becca and Chloe were in Lit class. Greg was there. Jennifer was sitting next to him, as close as Ms. Himes would allow. She flashed a smile at Chloe that was brilliant and dazzling white.

Looks like a toothpaste commercial, Chloe thought grimly to herself. Class started and she had to fight to keep her concentration on the subject of the day, John Dunne, and force herself to not keep looking at Jenn and Greg.

An agonizing fifty minutes later, Chloe had her bag packed, on her shoulders and was the first one out the door. Becca rushed to keep up with her.

“Oh, Chloe, Becca,” a feminine voice rang out. Chloe tried to ignore it but Becca tugged at the back of her sleeve.

Slowly, the teen turned around. Jennifer was behind her in the hall with one small hand delicately placed on Greg’s arm. Her eyelash extensions made her blue eyes look even bigger than usual. Greg was busy looking at the ceiling.

“My parents and I will be having a little get together after the Winter prom. I am so hoping you,” her eyes slid over to Becca and she smiled, “and your date will be able to make it. You know the address.” She smirked, tugged on Greg’s sleeve. Her long pink acrylic nails sparkled with tiny jewels. The little hand now had a firm grip on Greg’s upper arm. As they moved down the hall, the pom-pom tassles of her Ugg boots bouncing as she walked. Her black skinny jeans fitting her form perfectly.

Chloe’s vision stared to blur; she felt her hands forming into fists. She was grinding her teeth.

“We should go, sweetie, people are staring at you.” Becca touched a delicate finger to Chloe’s arm.

Chloe yanked away and walked stiffly back to her locker.

Two days later, Chloe was in her room trying to get her homework done. It was difficult because she kept slipping into daydreams about charting a boat and sailing away … her phone rang. She usually ignored it during homework sessions but it was Becca so she picked up.

“Becca.”

“Chloe, are you alone?” Becca whispered into the phone.

“Yes, of course, I’m in my room. What?”

“Um, I have some bad news.”

“Bad news? Becca, the girl I hate most in the entire school is going to the Winter prom with the guy I have been in love with since the 5th grade and you say it gets worse?’

“Well, I don’t know. I think it’s better you hear it from me rather than …”

“Christ. Just go ahead and tell me already!”

“She got a car, a new car.”

“Who got a new car?”

“Jennifer, Jenn got a new car. And …”

“And what? Quit dragging it out.”

“It’s one of those cars; you know that looks like a shoe. That kind. I saw it when I was out shopping with my mom. “

“Okay, so …”

“Chloe … it has a custom paint job. Custom. Pink with brown stripes and little yellow flowers over the brown stripes. It’s really cute …”

“Shit …”

“And … one more thing …” Becca was breathless.

“What!”

“Her new besty friend, you know, that new girl with the red hair and tattoos. Kiki or something. She got a matching car. Same type, same custom paint, different colors.” Becca stopped talking. There was a long silence.

Chloe felt like banging her head against the desk and never stopping.

“Chloe? You okay. I just … ”

“Becca, I’m fine. Thanks for telling me. You are absolutely right. Better from you than someone else. But, I got to go now. Homework, you know.”

“Oh, right, right. Well, um, see you in school tomorrow?”

“Sure thing. We got a swim team race tomorrow after school. ‘Member?” Chloe let out a short hallow laugh.

“Oh, God! We do. I better get to bed early then. Okay, love you lots. Tomorrow.”

“Love you too, Becca.” Carefully, Chloe hit the end button on her phone and put it down. She stared into space. She felt numb.

The next day went by in a blur for Chloe. At lunchtime, she was aware of Jennifer sitting next to Greg and preening him constantly. Her friend Kiki was there and a swarm of young men from various grades kept trying to find room at the table.

Kiki had shown up a few weeks late in the term. She was thin, a little taller than Jenn, with dark red hair cut in a severe asymmetrical style. Half of her head was shaved to the scalp with tiny braids woven tightly at the top before the straight red hair flowed down in a sharp angle. She had tattoos all up one side of an arm and various piercings around her body. Her shirt was low cut and her jeans were torn. She had a pretty, elfin face with small, white teeth, which she flashed often at the boys. They in turn, were gaga over her.

Kiki reminded Chloe of an Anime drawing. The Evil Elf, she thought to herself.

Several of the regulars at their table could not resist the siren song and they too began to drift that way during lunch.

Chloe ate with her head down. Becca ate nervously; alternating between gawking at Jenn and company and glancing at her friend.

“How did her parents ever let her get those tattoos? I thought you had to be eighteen or something,” Becca asked the air not expecting a response.

“San Francisco or Mexico, I expect,” Chloe answered. “Ah, who cares? You done with lunch?”

Becca stole one last glance across the cafeteria and then stuffed the rest of her sandwich in her face. Becca, slightly stocky of build, was a stress eater.

“Sure, coming,” she grabbed her bag and her Diet Coke. Becca found trying to converse with her friend these days increasing difficult.

Later that afternoon, Becca and Chloe suited up and were by the pool waiting for roll call. The guys came out of the locker room together. Chloe turned her back to them so she was looking across the gym.

“Wish me luck, Becca,” a male voice said behind her. Chloe did not turn around.

“Oh, right.” Becca replied nervously. “Good luck, Greg. Is this a tournament day for you guys, too?”

“Yep, it is. And good luck to you on all your races. Even to Miss Chloe.”

Chloe stopped breathing a moment.

“See you, Becca.”

“Right, see you, Greg.”

“Well, what do you think about that? Oh, oh. Oh, no!” Becca exclaimed.

Chloe turned. “What, oh no? What are you talking about?”

“She’s here,” Becca whispered.

“Who?” Chloe had an angry look on her face and looked around the stadium. Then, her heart sank. Three rows up sat Jennifer with two of her friends. They were holding some kind of glitter pom-poms and waving them at the guys.

“Jesus F. Christ, what next?” Chloe turned away.

“Better not let coach hear you talk like that, Chlo. You know how he is.”

Chloe pulled her swim cap down, stalked over to the diving block, and stared hard down into the water.

“Chloe Devine!” she heard her name read.

“Here, coach!” she shouted back.

“Okay, girls, you know the drill. We have been over this a bunch of times. Do your best and try to top your last speed.”

Chloe shook out her arms and legs. All the girls got up on the blocks. The coach blew his whistle. Chloe dived smoothly into the pool.

The water was cool and comforting as always. The pool was deep and a light blue color. Multi-colored flags flew overhead. People started yelling. Chloe swung her arms forward and kicked like the devil himself was behind. She struck the water again and again. Vicious blows. She was hitting Jennifer, she was hitting Greg, she was …. hitting herself. She got to the end of the lane; did her underwater turn and plowed back. Two more laps. The cheering got louder. She pounded the water; all she could think of now was the finish line. Got to get … she hit the wall and stopped.

Standing up suddenly she heard cheering. The coach was leaning over her.

“Chloe, you won; 1:05 minutes for 100 meter freestyle. That’s Olympic quality! I just can’t believe it. I knew you had in it you.” The old guy was smiling like he hit the jackpot. Chloe smiled dazely.

Chloe’s mom and dad had showed up to the race at the last minute and got to see her time posted on the big board.

“Oh, Chloe that was wonderful. Good for you!” her mother was holding out a big dry towel for her and her dad was looking proud.

“Thanks, Mom. We have to do a few more races and then we will be done. You guys want to wait?”

“Of course we do, Hun. Why wouldn’t we?” Mrs. Devine glanced nervously at her husband. Chloe’s younger brother hung back from his parents looking bored.

“Oh, nothing. Okay, it should be another 45 minutes.”

“We’ll be on the bleachers, Hun.”

Chloe dried off as much as possible and wrapped in the big towel, waited her turn for the next round. Her next time was good but still didn’t quite match the first round. Maybe I’m not quite as angry, she thought to herself and grinned.

The family went out to the local coffee shop for an early dinner.

Chloe ate like a starving man and her parents both stared at her.

“Hungry, squirt?” her dad asked carefully.

“Always starving after a meet,” she responded.

Her dad nodded sagely and sipped his coffee. He glanced at his wife and she rolled her eyes a little.

On the way home, they all sang some dumb songs and Chloe felt happier than she had done in weeks. That night she fell into a deep sleep and didn’t move until her alarm went off the next morning.

Continued in part IV

Devine Tragedy – Part II

23 Friday Feb 2024

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After practice, Becca and Chloe usually rode their bikes home. But the weather was starting to get a little chilly and Becca’s dad brought the SUV around to pick up his daughter and her bike.

“Lift?” he asked Chloe.

“No thanks, Mr. Thompson, it’s just a few blocks and I’d rather ride today.”

“Okay, kid. Keep us in mind, weather turns ugly.”

“I will, sir, count on it.”

Thompson did a little salute, climbed up into the SUV cab and pulled away.

Chloe wanted some down time to think. Think without someone getting worried that she was depressed. She stuffed everything into her enormous backpack, shouldered the entire load and headed off home. It was early October and it was getting dark earlier. She would probably have to take Becca up on her offer of a ride soon.

As she rode home, she couldn’t stop thinking about Greg and the skinny kid he had been when her family moved to this neighborhood. At that time, the two of them were about the same height and equally boney.

Who knew the guy would sprout up into the 6’1” monster he was today?. Of course, she was taller too, about 5’7” or 5’8” at last measure. However, while Greg had seemed to erupt into muscular shoulders and back, Chloe was still on the thin side with sharp elbows. Her long arms and big hands were excellent for swimming and eating up the yards, however, out of the water, she often found herself sitting on her hands to hide them. Both her hand and feet made her feel awkward. Her nemesis, Jennifer was much shorter, rounder, prettier too with big boobs and natural blonde curls a la Shirley Temple.

Choe was thinking about the resemblance. Damn it, she even has the dimple!

Most of the boys in the senior class became transfixed when Jennifer floated by and were struck dumb in her presence.

How can I compete with that? Chloe thought viciously to herself. I mean, other than have a boob job or buy falsies.

The girl almost wept. She and Greg had been friends in many classes through the years. In fifth grade, he sat behind her and made her giggle all year long with his fast quips about their 5th grade teacher. A stand-up comedy wanna-be.

“Hey, dude. I hear Jay Leno is auditioning for a backup. Shall I get him your number?” he whispered in her ear. She stifled a giggle.

She also remembered the time that Jennifer Miller, as she was back then, did a spectacular fail on a big English exam. Chloe could remember Mrs. Miller coming to school to pick up her daughter, her face bright with anger.

“All the best men are at all the best school. The best men make the best husbands. You need to get into one of those schools. You will keep your grades up!” she hissed.  With that, the woman jerked a plump and red-faced Jennifer to the parking lot.

Well, she isn’t plump anymore, Chloe thought wryly to herself.

But things had been good between herself and Greg for a long time; sitting with her group at lunch, walking with her to class. Then, slowly things began to change. They both ended up at New H high school and on swim teams. However, when Greg got into water polo, his parents began to send him away for summer camp training. There was even talk about a possible scholarship to the U. Each time Greg got back from a camp, he seemed a little taller, a little bit bigger and … ever more slightly distant.

It wasn’t that Chloe was a complete geek or anything, but she was not, she clearly knew, one of the really cool kids at school. Her mom was an insurance underwriter and her dad; a contractor who had been out of work a lot this year due to the pandemic. Money was a trifle tight at home. Between herself and her younger brother, Sam, what they had needed to go a long way. They still had their ranch-style house of course, and it was in a nice neighborhood. But, Chloe still didn’t have her own car and there was no plan in sight for getting one.

The summer before senior year, Greg’s dad bought him a small, red convertible coupe. It was a BMW. When the kid got that car, things really took a shift.

“It’s the smallest BMW made,” Greg had explained when Chloe complimented him on the car. The boy looked down and nearly shuffled his feet. Finally, he looked up and seemed to gather himself together. “But, yeah, it is nice.” He grinned, his blue eyes glowing.

Chloe felt her heart melt. The no-car thing hurt like never before. She plastered a smile on her face, then, continued on to class, clutching her books in front of her like a protective shield.

She could hear Jennifer and her posse surround Greg; oohing and ahhing all over him, going on about the car.

                                                                                      #

Chloe was about to turn into her street, when she heard the blast of a car horn and jerked right. A car zoomed by and the driver made an ugly hand signal. She had been concentrating so hard on the Greg situation; she had not even noticed the car approaching rapidly from the rear.

She dropped a foot to the street and had to breathe. Her heart was racing as she realized the near miss. She leaned her bike against the curb. Looking around, she realized she was at the small park down the street from where she lived. Lugging her bike and bag over the curb, she went a few feet and plopped down on a cement bench. The bench was cold on her legs. It actually felt good. Helped her to focus.

It wasn’t that Greg was ignoring her deliberately all the time or anything, she had to be honest and admit that. It was more … she gazed around the park. There were large trees gradually loosing leaves. Huge moist yellow leaves lay on the short, cropped grass. The bushes, as always, were trimmed to within an inch of their lives. The City took its responsibilities to the park system seriously. Across the park, two little kids were swinging on the swings over a batch of sand. A bored mom was working to get them to stop, tapping her watch. Dark shadows started to lengthen in the park. There was a slight breeze and chill to the air. Chloe shivered slightly.

Not really ignoring me actually. It was more like … what was it like? She asked herself.

Then it hit her. What is was like, exactly like. Chloe remembered the Disney movie where the kid had the cowboy doll. The kid would play and play with that doll. It was his favorite toy. He loved that doll. Over time, the boy got older and got other favorite toys. Finally, he grew up and the doll was totally left behind, forgotten. Chloe felt just like that doll. A forgotten, favorite toy.

Small tears started to form and fall from her eyes. The wind picked them up and chapped her face. She started to cry harder and harder. She pulled off her backpack and rummaged around for her pack of Kleenex. There were three sheets left. She dabbed her eyes, blew her nose, and then stared out into the gathering dusk.

The mother of the small boys finally gathered them up. The trio trudged out of the park. They walked by her. One little boy stared at her face, his mouth open.

“Don’t stare, Jeremy, it’s not polite,” the mother chastised.

Chloe came back with a jerk. She wiped her eyes one more time. If she didn’t get home, her mother would start calling people. If she got into the house and got to the bathroom quick, she could get a hot towel on her face, then her mom wouldn’t start asking a lot of nosey questions like “Why are your eyes red?”

She didn’t feel like answering questions tonight. She didn’t feel like doing anything except crawling into bed and staying there about ten years or at least until graduation was over.

Pushing the bike back up, Chloe pulled the backpack on and climbed on her bike. She flipped up the headlamp for traffic and headed home.

Becca and Chloe were at lunch the next day. They were at a table with some friends. Greg used to sit with them but now he was several tables away with Jenn and her pals. Their group were all talking and laughing hysterically.

“I wonder what they are talking about,” Becca asked, her mouth full of sandwich, nodding her head at the other table.

Chloe let out a big sigh, spooned her chocolate pudding and said, “I could care.”

“Oh, Chloe, don’t say that girl. You can’t give up the fight. The Winter prom is coming up. What if he asks her? Becca’s eyes got big around and there was no doubt who the her was. “He used to always like yo…”

“I know, Becca, I know,” Chloe was getting testy with her friend. “He used to always…everything.” She spooned a dab of chocolate in her mouth. “That was then, this is now.”

“Ooh,” Becca put on the sad face. “I’m sorry…”

“Becca,” Chloe slammed down her spoon and went to grab her bag, “there is nothing to be sorry about. He has never asked me out, not once, and we were never,” she used her fingers to create brackets, ‘a thing.’ So, can we drop it before I scream?” Chloe stood up to go.

Becca looked slightly cowed and surprised at the same time. “Sure, sure, Chlo, whatever. Um, see you next class?”

Chloe nodded to her friend, got up, threw her trash away and stalked out. She hadn’t finished her lunch, but somehow, she wasn’t hungry anymore. Tittering and laughter from the Jennifer table followed her out of the cafeteria.

Life went on as always, the Winter prom approached. Chloe consoled herself that neither she nor her shorter, heavier friend, Becca had been asked to the dance. It was good to have some constants in an inconsistent, fickle world. It was a Monday morning; the teen was getting her stuff out of her locker when her friend sidled up to her.

“Chloe?”

“Hi, Becca. I’m looking for my good pen.” Chloe kept rummaging through the bottom of the locker.

“I need to tell you something.”

The tone in her friend’s voice made Chloe stop what she was doing and look around the locker door. Becca looked like a basset hound that had been caught chasing chickens.

“What is it?”

Becca clutched her books more tightly to her team sweatshirt. “Well … you know about the Winter prom …”

“Yes, yes. Of course…”

“Well, I got a phone call last night from Tina and she got it from Holly, so, I’m sure it’s really the truth.” Becca looked desperate.

“What is really the truth?” Chloe demanded and stuck her arms akimbo to her waist. She patted her sneakered foot.

“Gregory has asked Jennifer to the Prom and I wanted to tell you first before anyone else told you and you found out in class!” Becca said it all in a rush and out of breath, stopped suddenly, staring at Chloe.

Chloe felt like she had just been kicked in the stomach, she almost bent over, her face flushed. She could feel tears forming behind her eyes. She grabbed the locker door, steadied herself and took a big breath.

“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sor…”

Chloe put up a stopping hand. “Don’t, Becca. Don’t. It just makes it worse.”

“What are we going to do?”

“We are going to do absolutely nothing and act like nothing whatever has happened.” Chloe left off looking for the pen and slammed the locker door roughly. Becca jumped. “Just like nothing happened.” Chloe stuck her chin in the air. “We need to get to class.”

Continued Part III