Chapter Ten – His Ex

Hmm…Mr. Wonderful has an Ex. This can be an ex-wife (wives), ex-girlfriend, ex-‘friend’, ex-fiancée, it could be his mother.

Well, how bad is that? You ask yourself and your besty friend. Well…In today’s modern society, very few people get to the altar without having at the very least one ex. That is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it could be a good thing in that it speaks to your beloved having some history with other women and being able to make some adult decisions about who he really wants to be with. Remember, ‘until death us do part’, can be a long time.

However, that said, what are some tell-tale bad signs about this (those) past relationship(s)?

  • He continues to talk about his ex. He brings her up, not just the once but numerous times.
  • There are continual cute antidotes about the past and their good times together.
  • He compliments her looks, her school, her actions, her decisions, her whimsical choices. Everything, in fact, about her is imbued with an almost mystical power. 
  • There are pictures of her around his place.
  • They are still friends and talk on the phone, send each other emails, stay in touch on Facebook or other social media.
  • You visit her place with him. He wants to hang out with her at this and that event.
  • He compares you to her and the end result is not good.

Stop! The warning signs are written very large here. The only sign you should be looking for is the one that says Exit in red! Because you need out of this relationship now.

Face the facts. Your guy is still in love with that girl, gal, woman (and yes, it can be his mother.) You will never live up to his fantasy of who and what she is (was). And you might as well not waste your valuable time trying. You cannot make him happy simply because you are not her.

Right here, unfortunately, your logical mind might assert itself and say, “But, she’s in a relationship, she’s got a boyfriend, husband, fiancée. She has moved on!” It doesn’t matter. What matters is that he has not and that is what counts. You will always be second best, the also ran, and the one he had to ‘settle’ for. Who wants that?

Okay, we have now leap frogged over all these issues and now it’s time for…

Chap 11 – The Wedding

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