Chapter Eleven – The Wedding

Here comes the bride…and the minister, and the caterers, the florist, the wedding planner, the makeup artist, the dressmaker, the hair stylist, the photographer and the lists and lists of family friends. Thirty days into this deal and you are both ready to jump on the love boat, sail to Tahiti and get married there. Wow…who knew?

Here’s the thing about your wedding…it is your wedding in name and you may even be paying some of the costs, but, your wedding and his wedding are the time in life when parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends, everyone who ever had a hand in your upbringing and life get to celebrate their accomplishment – you. So, although everyone tells you this is ‘your day’ it is really their day, the payoff of all those years of, well, you know. So, let them enjoy your day that they (especially your mother) have helped to create.

The Cost

Wow! Again, who knew it could be so expensive to get married? Let’s go over average costs.

Lauren Schwahn

How much does a wedding cost? A lot, it turns out.

Money – Nerdwallet  6/22/19

Having a wedding isn’t as simple as saying “I do” – and it’s a lot more expensive.

The national average cost of a wedding is $33,931, according to The Knot’s 2018 Real Weddings Study.

Here’s what you should know about wedding costs and how to realistically estimate what you’ll spend to take the plunge.

Add it all up

Don’t bow to pressure from relatives, friends, social media or spending reports. Your wedding spending should align with your income, regular expenses and other financial goals.

Once you’ve established a budget, decided the kind of wedding you want and begun to compare costs, plug in the numbers. 

What about a simple backyard wedding, reception? Can a lot of costs be reduced that way? Of course and during the time of Covid, more and more couples have been doing just that to minimize personal contact and maximize social distancing. So, before all the vendors start yapping at you, see how much, realistically everyone wants to pay for this day. Yes, it is a very important day, however, it is one day and life does go on after. So, let’s pause. Now is the time to have a talk with mom and dad, and/or the beloved, and to think.

Honeymoon and After

Best recommendation for honeymoon and after is to not spend too much time with mom, dad and family. They all mean well, they really do. But, try as they might, family simply cannot stop with giving advice. This is the birth of a new relationship, a marriage, and the two of you have to build that relationship. There will be fights and hard times. But, if every time there is a squabble over who takes out the trash, if you run home to mom, you are not building the steps to a strong relationship – with him. He needs to be your focus now, not your parents. Time to say good bye, (mom/dad/everyone) love you, and grow up. Growing up can be very difficult. However, you’ve had a good start, family and friends gathered around, lots of gifts, now it’s your turn. To use a corny over used phrase; ‘this is the first day of the rest of your life.’

Make it a good one.

Marriage and life ever after, well, material for another book!



          You can see more of Courtney’s work at Amazon/Kindle or Kindle Vella Library.

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